Surrender Your Sensations

“To end this class, let me put the morality of euthanasia in a context that you guys will relate to.”

Everyone’s attention was focused on our professor. He was standing in the middle of the room. I was faking eye contact again; sort of still looking at my prof’s face even though I could not see it clearly.

“May I have Miss Santiago?”

Me? My professor turned to me. I hesitated to stand up. All eyes turned to me.

“Can you tell us what is your dream? What do you want to be?”

“Lawyer,” I was quick to answer.

My professor nodded. I felt Cherry pat my hand because of my answer. Of course, she would definitely relate to me. We both wanted to become lawyers. She was just a little ahead of me, now.

“Do you think you can do it? Are you sure you’re qualified to be a lawyer in the future?”

Am I qualified to be a lawyer in the near future? That’s a hard question. But I am certain about being a lawyer and I don’t have any plans on backing out.

“Yes. I will be the best lawyer.”

“When you were a child, what did you dream of becoming, Miss Santiago?”

I was stunned before scratching my head. “I used to dream of being a doctor.”

“And why did it change? Why lawyer now? Why did you kill the dream of being a doctor?”

“Because I change. I realized I’m not fit to become a doctor, Sir.”

After my answer, my professor made me sit down again. Then, he went to his desk and started arranging his stuff. “Having a dream is picking between continuing or restarting. It’s a matter of questioning yourself, should I survive this and continue or should I end this and let go?” He looked at us then slung the bag over his shoulder. “It’s the same way as euthanasia. It’s a matter of choosing ‘saving’ in the form of death or ‘saving’ in the form of suffering. Either way, it’s a form of ‘saving”. Is it moral? Maybe yes, maybe not. The morality of euthanasia depends on how a person will view its purpose. Remember, morality lies in a person’s beliefs, values, and virtues.”

With that, our professor called it a day and bid us goodbye.

“Sir Estocapio is really a hotshot.”

“Yeah. I heard he’s single too.”

“Gosh, when I got a chance, I will surely seduce him in his faculty!”

“You’re crazy!”

My eyes widened at what I heard my classmates were talking about in the back. What the heck? Are they pertaining to our Ethics professor? Are they talking about him maliciously!?

“Hey! You’re so stiff,” Cherry whispered to me before tapping me on the shoulder. “You’ll get used to the women who fantasize about our Ethics professor. Who doesn’t? He’s so hot.”

“Sir Estocapio?” I mean, our prof is tall, has a nice speaking voice and a pretty fit body.

“Hey you witch! Are you blind already? Sir Estocapio’s charm and sex appeal are overflowing,” Cherry blurted out before giggling.

I scratched my head so hard. I’m sorry. I didn’t know that our Ethics prof was so handsome. It’s not my fault that I was a face-blind.

“All right. All right. I have to go, Meredith. By the way, looking forward to being with you again in a debate room, representing our university. See you tomorrow at our org’s meeting!” Cherry waved at me before leaving the room.

I smiled. I guess, it’s decided now. I would be applying for the roster of Alpha Battuere for this coming regional debate competition. This time, I would make it to nationals.

I was about to leave the classroom when someone called my name. I frowned temporarily before I recognized the caller. Gelo- Angelo Leviticus Cristobal; I saw his name on his binder earlier. I could really smell his perfume.

“Why?”

“It’s nice to share the same side of the debate room with you,” he said before folding his arms over his chest. “You’re still her, the debate genius and the girl who beat me on the thing that I am the best at.”

I frowned before trying to smile. “I want you to be aware that I don’t remember the competition you’re referring to. But your tattoo,” I pointed at his hand, “it’s pretty familiar. I think I’ve seen that before.”

“For sure. We’ve met a few times.”

“Where?”

“I was at the children’s party held at the hospital where you were confined almost two years ago.” Then, he passed by me and walked out of the room.

“Wait!” I ran after him.

“It’s nice to see you recovered, Meredith Kaye,” he said, looking at me over his shoulder before he continued walking.

I was stunned as my mouth fell open because of what he said. Gradually, memories came back to me about the children’s party he was referring to. It was a birthday party for a two-year-old leukemia patient. The little girl’s name was Angela… and the guy I met there, with the same tattoos on his hand as Gelo, was her father.

It took me a few seconds before I finally realized who Gelo was. “Oh my gosh! Is he Angela’s father?”

I was stunned to leave the classroom because of what I found out. I knew it. Now it finally made sense why I recognized his tattoo. I’ve seen it a few times.

If my suspicion was correct and Gelo and I were the same age, I could not help but think how old he was when he had Angela. He must be so young and then Angela got cancer. It must be so hard for him.

I made a mental note to ask him about Angela. I was discharged earlier than the child so I was not sure if she recovered.

My heart constricted on the idea that Angela didn’t make it. From what I remember, she’s really in a complicated situation.

I sighed before continuing to walk. I was on my way to the cafeteria to meet Rupert. He said we would have lunch together and I couldn’t help but be in an instant good mood because of that. I was quite excited too.

As I make my way to the cafeteria, I pass by the law school of our university. At the entrance, there was the statue of lady justice. Every time I pass by here, I actually stop walking and look up at this statue.

“Soon,” I whispered before looking up at the eight-feet statue of the woman who symbolizes fairness or the law.

I would go to law school, graduate and become a lawyer. That’s my plan for this second life I have.

I smiled before starting to walk again. I don’t know what happened to me, but I feel a different vibe of energy. I am more motivated today… after that debate… the adrenaline… and the happiness.

I feel so alive.