Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 18: 18 Serendipity

Serendipity

- finding something good without looking for it

"I'm very attracted to you Savannah." He repeats.

My heart leaps.

"But I just don't want those extra other stuff between us." He added while holding the back of his neck.

My eyebrows furrowing.

"Other stuff?" My voice shying away.

"Those boyfriend and girlfriend thing. I don't want that." He said firm.

Holy hell.

I just do not know what to say to him or even how to react to that thing he just confessed to me. I wait for a little more to rethink again and then think a lot more. He just admitted to me that he just wants to have sex with me. He doesn't want those sweet little things done in a relationship. He doesn't want it to lead into something. He wants sec from me. Nothing but sex.

I should be punching him or hitting him with my fists and I should be mad at him cos that's what he's only after me but the fact that he chose to kiss me after those straight eight years, makes me flatter. I find it disrespectful yet intense that he only wants nothing but sex from me. No guy had ever been this frank to me and Nick's too hot to resist. I know I couldn't even if I lie to myself that I do not want what he's offering me.

We're staring at each other again. I think he is nervous and I think he's wondering if he pissed me off. But honestly, I don't feel like I'm pissed off at all. I feel the total opposite of being mad. It makes me want to jump on top of the counter and scream my lungs out in the middle of the night cos I feel honored. I know want this. I want Nick. I want this no matter what the consequences are. I want this.

I just don't know how to answer him though.

I uncross my legs. "So Nick, lets get this straight."

He looks at me sternly.

"You haven't had sex for eight years." I say, he nods.

"You haven't kissed someone for eight years as well." He nods again.

"You certainly don't like commitments." He nods once more.

"You don't like those things done in a relationship too. You don't like to date anybody. And you obviously don't want love either. Correct?" I say out.

He's sexy smirk is showing. "Yup."

"But you're also saying you're very attracted to me even though you don't want to get attracted to me. You want to have sex with me but you don't want us to be committed. You don't want to love me and you also don't want me to love you. That's it? Did I get it right?" I asked.

He nods while rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Yes."

"Well I just think we should take it slow." I teased. "I don't want to pressure you or anything. You're still a virgin."

I smile at my own joke but then his smile fades and takes steps towards me. I quickly stopped smiling the moment he stood right in front of me. He spreads my legs apart and stood up in between my thighs. Oh god. Oh god. He is seriously intimidating. He leans close to my ear.

"Remember, it's been eight years Savannah. Trust me when I say I'm fucking ready." He says.

That.

Was

Insanely.

Hot.

He pulls his head away from me and kept smirking. "Are you sure you can handle this?"

This.

I don't know what he meant when he said this. I'm torn between the two options of thinking this means; letting him have sex with me with no emotions involved or the other option which is his cock.

"I am." I said with whatever he meant by the word this.

He smirks.

"Well I still can't believe I asked you for sex." He mutters.

I smiled sheepishly.

I kind of miss sex to be honest. It's been a while since the last time I did it. I know I am definitely attracted to him and I wouldn't want to have meaningless sex with anyone other than the Phi Delta Theta's President slash my roommate's older brother.

"Listen to me Nick." I called out.

"I'm listening." He says.

"You're single. I'm also single. If ever we wanted a relationship out of this thing we are talking about right now, it'll never work out. I'm sure it won't. And I won't have to worry about ruining my friendship with you cos we were never friends from the start."

"Alright. Go on."

I stand on my feet. "So. You want to have sex with me?"

He nods. "Totally."

"Then I will let you. I will let you have sex with me." I confirmed.

He licks his lips. Shit that was so hot.

Do it again.

Do it again.

"I will let you fuck me a lot." I added.

His eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

"You don't you want that?" I asked.

He looks at me even longer with a challenging stare. "I fucking do."

"Okay." I said.

He deliberately nods. "Okay."

"But promise me you won't fall in love with me." He said right away.

I didn't know what to say. Well I just told him that we can have sex without expectations from it. I'm nervous because I'm not sure that we can just have casual sex sooner or later but yet I stand here pretending that I'm fine with just sex. Maybe if it starts out this way, it'll probably turn into something more.

I'm hopeful.

Don't hope too much Savannah. He just told you not to fall in love with him.

"Well we can't have sex right now." He blurted out.

Damn it.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I don't have any condoms with me and I'm sure as hell in first five thrust I'll do on you I won't be able to pull out in time. Trust me." He says.

I laughed.

"But I would want to kiss you again in ways that'll show you what heaven feels like." he said whisperingly.

I bite my lip. I have been anticipating for it Nick. Thank goodness you said that.

"Then do it." I answered him.

I'm not changing my mind. I want this as bad as he wants this.

He effortlessly carried me up on his arms, while my legs spreading wide against his body as he walks towards the counter, right next to the sink. He placed me down while looking up at me.

"Did I ever tell you that I love it every time I catch you looking at me?" He says while brushing his thumb on my cheek.

I smile cos I'm sure as hell he's talking about that thing we did inside the car on the way here.

He brings his lips over mine and I was bending my head down on him. His arms wrapping around my back, resting on the bar while I was holding on to his neck. Every movement he does is liquefying me. I've never felt this good on kissing other men like how he kisses me. His tongue dips into my mouth, tasting and claiming me. I tilt my head so I can taste more of him while his hand holding my right cheek coming down to my neck and his wounded hand resting on my lap.

I locked my feet together behind his back, securing him closer to me as I moan on his mouth causing him to press me harder against his body. I am almost on the edge of the counter. His wounded hand inserting under my blouse and I didn't mind. My hands were all over him too. His neck, his hair, his back, his cheeks and his chest.

All of a sudden we hear footsteps that sounded like coming down the stairs.

"Shit." I pulled away.

He listened as well.

"I think it's Tracy." I added.

He helped me off the counter and the door opens just right on time we both got away from our kiss. We froze for a second when we saw Tracy rubbing her eyes as she enters the kitchen.

"You're both still up?" She asked groggily.

I gazed at him.

"She asked for some milk so I looked if we still have." He said.

Tracy yawns. "Oh. Okay."

She grabs a glass of water and drinks it straight. After drinking, she heads back out of the kitchen and I bursted into little laughs and he joins me. I don't know if she was sleepwalking or sleep talking but this night turned out funny.

"We shouldn't tell her." He said.

I nod. "Yeah. I wouldn't know how to explain it to her either."

I smiled.

"I think we should sleep now." I said.

He nods.

Both of us walk out of the kitchen while he turned the lights off before we went out of the door. He walked me to my bedroom first and I turned around to face him. He was looking right and left too, making sure that we were alone in the hallway.

"No one's around." I said softly.

"Just making sure." He said.

He takes a step forward and steals another kiss for me. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

I don't even know if this is okay but all I know is that I'm sure this will feel good and he's deliciously good just by looking at him.

"I got this." I said.

"Okay. But I have three rules for us to follow." He said firmly.

"Alright. What are they?"

"Live the present. No commitment. And never expect for a future." He said while pulling out one finger from the other.

He emphasized well on the word never.

Now that he set those rules, I'm thinking of the reasons he had for his eight years of abstinence and I want to know why he did that. I mean that's quite a long time for a man to abstain.

"So I can ask about your past?" I hoped.

"No. I don't like answering questions. Remember?" He arched any eyebrow.

I honestly don't like those rules. He makes me want to change my mind cos of it but since I signed up for this then okay fine. Well, have it his way.

I sigh. "Fine. I have one or two rules for you too."

He waits for my rules but I can't think of something right now. And he's still waiting. "I can't think of it just yet but I'll tell you once I have them."

He laughs. "You're weird."

He leans forward to me then kissed my cheek. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight Nick."

He opens my door for me and I quickly marched inside as I watch him walking towards his room. I shut the door behind me and everything sinks in. I don't know what I've got myself into but I'm only scared of one thing right now.

I'm scared of how this will end.

__________

SFTC:

I Wanna Be With You - Mandy Moore