It Happened Last Year

When I first started therapy in Florida, my therapist gave me the idea of journaling. I started a journal and wrote in it for a few months, but eventually, it died off. Most of my entries lacked the topic of the incident-the reason why I was in therapy in the first place-but were about Mr. Russ and my friends in Florida. Though, I suppose they were an escape for me in themselves.

With my friends in Florida, I was an actress, pretending that Harrison never did what he had done. With them, I was an entirely different person. With Mr. Russ, I was an entirely different person also. I became so in love with this fake persona that I even created a name for her, well, not created, I stole a name for her. Daphne.

Yes, Daphne was my best friend before she turned on me, and Daphne, my persona, did the same. Daphne turned on Hailey, picking out everything wrong with her. As long as I was Daphne, I wasn’t Hailey. I didn’t have to be the broken girl, I could be the okay one. It’s confusing, but it helped me in a way that I couldn’t quite grasp. It was a temporary fix. Now, here I am, and the temporary fix is over. Daphne stayed in Florida, and only Hailey came back.

I stopped therapy when I left Florida, also. My father offered to pay for it here, in Coldgrove, but I told him a didn’t need it anymore. Were eight months enough?

Your father told me he took you to therapy, my mother said when she picked me up from the airport.

He did, I confirmed.

Shame on you. Tricking your own father. Wasting his money on a lie, she muttered.

Walking into the cafeteria, I make my way to the usual table and sit down. Taylor smiles at me, quickly chewing so she can talk. “Hey, Hailey. Is Jana not here today?”

“No. After last night she texted me saying she had a hangover, too bad to ignore I guess,” I inform her. “Where’s Jordan?”

She looks around the room then points. “Over there.”

I look in that direction and see Jordan standing at another table with Daniel. Jordan is talking with a member of the football team, Bradley if I remember correctly. Daniel is trying to listen to Daphne, but he looks very bored. She smiles at him, touches his arm then laughs. He doesn’t laugh though. Oddly enough he looks my way, at our table, probably wanting to escape her.

Harrison joins the table, sitting next to Bradley. I bite the inside of my cheek at the site of him, almost balling up my fists. Daniel glances at Harrison with an angry look in his eyes, disgust maybe. Daniel then nudges Jordan and the two walk away, heading towards us.

My eyes shoot to Taylor. “So, how’s your day been?”

She looks amused. “Don’t act like you weren’t just eyeing Daniel. I saw it, and I’m pretty sure that girl saw it too.” Taylor gestures to a random girl at the next table.  “Do you actually have a crush on him? Does Hailey have a crush on-”

“Hey,” Jordan interrupts and sits down beside her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Who does Hailey have a crush on?”

Daniel looks at me and sits down also.

“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” Taylor jokes, enjoying my red face. “It’s-”

“Bradley,” I blurt.

The two guys glance back at Bradley, and while their eyes are distracted, Taylor stares at me with a wide mouth, then she tries to hold back laughs.

“Really?” Jordan asks. “Bradley? I didn’t know you knew him.”

Taylor covers her mouth with her hand, then her eyes squeeze shut.

“I know Bradley,” I lie. “H-He’s in my Economics class.”

“Him?” Daniel questions. “Why?”

“You know what, you’re right, I don’t know why. Never mind, I no longer like Bradley,” I mutter. The two guys look confused, but Taylor is about to crack. She lets a short laugh slip, then it’s too late, the rest is released. Not knowing what to do, I join in, laughing.

“I don’t get it?” Jordan says, peering at Daniel. Daniel shrugs.

Once the two of us calm down, Jordan and Daniel talk about some track meet. “You do track?” I ask Daniel.

“Yeah,” he says, “but you already knew that.”

“He only does it because he has to,” Jordan joins in. “It was that or suspension. If it’s jail or community service, you choose community service.”

I can’t help but question, “What did you do?”

Daniel shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“He punched a football player, I forgot which one. A staff member had to break it up,” Jordan steps over Daniel, then gets a look from him. “What? It was badass. The guy’s nose broke.”

My eyes focus in on Daniel. “What did he do to deserve that?”

“You ask a lot of questions,” he mutters.

“So do you.”

He glances up at me, again looking directly into my eyes, identical to how he did last night. It gives me a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. “He screwed me over, so I punched him. It’s not that interesting.”

Instead of asking how he screwed him over, I nod and accept what I get.

“I punched a girl once,” Taylor says off to the side. “It hurt.”

Jordan looks at her, amused.

“I wanted to be part of the conversation,” she mumbles, and I can’t help but smile. “The first football game of the season is tomorrow, are we going as a group or what?”

“I can’t,” Daniel says, and I can’t help but be disappointed.

Taylor turns to me. “How about me, Jordan, you, and Jana, you in?”

Even though I would prefer to be as far away from Harrison as possible, and he happens to be captain, I agree. Taylor sets up a time for us to meet and I text the details to Jana, expecting her to come with no need of an invitation.

Daniel stands up. “I gotta go,” he says to Jordan before walking out the cafeteria doors.

I can’t help but watch him the entire way.