I’m Just His Wife

Shit … I know him. When he said he would really do that.

But my panic did not go away when something suddenly entered my mind. I know him very well.

“You won’t do that … You love me! You love me more than anything else in this world! You can’t harm me!” I grinned raw after I said that. I knew he would never hurt me.

“Not anymore, Larisse.” He said in a hard tone so I was stunned.

Weakly I sat down on the couch again and abundant tears dripped from my eyes to my cheek.

No! I don’t want to die yet! He can’t hurt me!

I still want to build a family with Ivan and be happy with him. Seymour can’t hurt me. He also can’t hurt Ivan. I don’t … I don’t! I can’t! It can’t just ruin everything like that!

“You beast! Demon!” I shouted at the top of my lungs.

I heard her slightly laugh so my tears flowed again. I regret! I regret that I myself created the demon in him because he would only use it on me! I regret that I gave him everything I had before. I regret being with him wholeheartedly.

“You made the monster of me, Larisse. All of you. And now, you need to pay for your debts. I can’t just ignore all the damage you’ve done to my life …” seriously he promised but I could hear the joy in his voice.

“Damn you! I’ll kill you!” I cried tearfully.

He laughed out loud. He has really changed. “were you joking, Larisse? If so you made me a little laugh. Nice try, baby.” He laughed as if what I said was so funny. “You know that I won’t let my guards down, right? So before you killed me, the bullet of my gun was buried in your head. Tsk tsk tsk. Why did you betray me? I hope everything was fine if you don’t do your stupid things. That’s what you’re blessed with now. ” he scoffed.

“You will regret this, Seymour! Remember, I will precede you here in the game you started!” my fist clenched in anger. If he’s evil enough, I will surpass him. I will do everything so that he does not hurt Ivan and me. It’s okay if he targets Rigella but Ivan and I can’t hurt him!

“Alright. Then, let the bloody game begin …” he declared.

Andrea’s POV

“Romans 12: 9-10 …” said the priest in front. “Love must be sincere. Hate what was evil; cling to what was good. Be devoted to another in love. Honor one another above yourselves …” he continued speaking but I lost my hearing in front of me and I turned to Ivan.

He held my hand so I smiled at him and leaned my head on his shoulder. He was just looking to the front while listening so I also looked to the front again and listened to the priest.

It’s our second day (well, I can also call it our first day because we just arrived here last night) here in Realondo and it’s exactly Sunday so I invited him to go to church. It’s been weeks since I last visited a church so I invited him to go to church. And, it was also kinda sensational because he agreed to join me. I used to invite him to church but he always refused. His reason was always that he was busy working.

When the mass was over we left the church holding hands. The cold air here in this place immediately hit my cheek so I barely smiled. I will probably stay here all the time if I have given a chance to do it.

“Where do you want to go?” Ivan asked so I turned to him from looking around.

I smiled. “I thought we’re going to visit your cousin’s farm?”

His forehead furrowed slightly but he also nodded immediately. “Oh, that. We can’t go there because the farm was still being renovated. But don’t worry, we’ll go there next time.”

One of my eyebrows rose but I nodded as well. It was a little disappointing because I still wanted to see that strawberry farm. But, like what Ivan said, we’re going there next time so … It’s only okay.

“Where were we going then?” I will ask.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. You’re the one I’m asking where you want to go.”

I almost rolled my eyes because of his pedantic answer. I shook my head at him and he stared at me.

“Let’s just stay at your cousin’s house. I’m still a little tired and I want to rest.” I said.

Though, I rested myself at the house for three hours, it’s still feels inadequate for me. My body feels so tired and numb because of what happened last night. I never thought that I will feel this kind of sensation again. But, well, that’s what I get from being too impulsive.

Ivan’s face showed concern so I swallowed. Why do I see him more hotter when he looks at me with his worried face? Ugh, I can’t understand myself anymore. Yes and he has always been handsome in my eyes but why does it feel different now? Am I gone insane? Oh, I hope not.

“were you hurt? But, damn … I was so gentle last night …” Ivan frowned and seemed worried.

My cheeks got hot. For Pete’s sake! We had just finished church and then he would even open up that issue.

I sneezed so he turned to me again. “Let’s go? We need to rest because we’re going home tomorrow.”

His forehead furrowed. “was it really tomorrow? were you really sure about that?” he asked.

I nodded and gave him a definite smile. “Yup. I have a lot to take care of in my company.”

His mouth opened slightly but he immediately picked it up and averted his gaze.

“Can’t we just go next week?” he asked and walked again so I obeyed him.

“Why next week? It can be tomorrow, can’t it?” I smiled secretly. I knew he knew what was going on but he just didn’t make it obvious to me.

He turned to me for a moment and I saw him steal a sigh. He didn’t admit it but … I know it’s too difficult for him but he chose this. He chose me over them.

I stared at him while he just stared in front of me. Don’t worry, Ivan. After this, if ever we both survive this bloody war that was about to begin, I promise to be with you as always and love you endlessly. I will do my best to be a good mother to our children and a good wife to you. Just please, trust me on this and help me survive this. Let’s survive together, honey.

He opened the front seat door for me when we reached his car here in the parking lot. He supported me until I sat down and I returned only a smile to him. He also just smiled sparingly and quickly kissed me on the lips before closing the door. He turned to the driver’s seat and got in there.

He started the car and immediately drove away. I think, he really do know that I’m tired and I need an enough rest. I also can’t understand why it seems like it’s my first time to experience something like that because of this feeling.

The whole trip I was just looking out the window. I’m wondering why he chose to hide Uno’s plan to me. I mean, though, I knew it all along in the first place, I’m still curious because Ivan wasn’t even telling me that. What he said was he would help me but why didn’t he tell me that. Does he have any other plans? Or does he just really not want me to know that?

I really don’t want to think things like this about Ivan but I just can’t really help it. I hope he will be loyal to me because we have arranged but why was this? He didn’t even bother to open his thoughts to me. So I became more and more convinced that he had a plan. And whatever it was I need you to know. I have all the rights to know because I’m involved in there.

But, whatever his plan was, I hope it’s for the good. Because I don’t know how I’ll feel when I don’t like something in his plan. I don’t want to be paranoid and suspicious anymore. What I want was for me to know everything so that I am aware of the things he will do.

I also wanted to ask him but my heart and brain objected. My system was confused as to whether I should suspect him again or not because I have proven that he was not really behind me and my family.

So now all I can do was pray. May god guide us no matter what trials we may face. Because I can’t take it anymore if one of my loved ones was lost again. I’m tired on crying and grieving. This time, I just want to be happy with my loved ones and it was more than enough for me.

“Can we just stay here for a little bit longer? Two weeks or even a week if you want. Just please, not tomorrow. It’s too dangerous and I know you know why …” he said suddenly but I didn’t look at him. Did he know that I knew what would happen tomorrow?

“I need to face this, Ivan. It won’t end until I face Uno. Besides, I don’t want him to think that I’m too weak so I won’t face him tomorrow. Just … Trust me on this . I can handle him. ” I said without looking at him.

“It’s too dangerous. You don’t know him. He’s more of a monster than a monster, Rigella. Just, don’t show up tomorrow. It’s safer here in Realondo. And, it’s only okay if he will think that you’re weak , than you go there and have a chance to perish. ” I could see out of the corner of my eye the tightening of his grip on the steering wheel.

I smiled and turned to him. I know he’s worried but this time, I will be the master and not him. This time I will be the one to follow and I will not let him stop me from what I will do.