Holding on to you

Jessy’s P. O. V

Flashback

“Come on Jessica rabbit, remember what I told you, the more you fight it the more is going to hurt.”

I glared up at him, but I did stop fighting. It was no use anyway, he always gets what he wants. I closed my eyes and imagined that I was spending my seventeen birthday with my two best friends at the art summer camp, rather than lying in bed with the guy that ruined my life.

“That’s a good girl, you know how I like it.”

Tears run down the side of my face as I picture taking a knife and cutting Kacey’s dick off.

“Happy birthday, Jessica rabbit.”

Flashback end

“Happy birthday, Jessica.”

Mik placed the knife in my open hand and I closed my fingers around it. Testing the weight of it, I turned it from side to side and stare in wonder at the sharp piece of metal that could end a person’s life.

A knife smaller than it, a pocket knife, had almost killed my best friend. When it happened, I remember thinking, how could something so small inflict so much damage and pain.

However, looking at the knife that was in my hands, I knew that for this day, my birthday, it was going to do just that.

I looked at the person chained to the wall of the deserted warehouse that Mik brought me to and thought about all the time I’ve imagined killing him. I thought about all the time he made me feel pain, the countless times I felt like dying and the countless time I called myself a coward because I didn’t have the courage to end my miserable existence.

How many times have I cowered in fear the same way he was right now? How many time have I begged him not to hurt me and cried for him to stop just like he was doing?

“Baby, you don’t have to do this, I can take care of him for you.”

I shook my head, I had to do it, I had to be the one to put an end to my nightmare, I couldn’t let Mik be my hero, I needed to be my own hero.

“No, I’ll do it.”

He saw the look of determination in my eyes and I knew that he understood why I wanted to be the to hurt Kacey, just like he hurt me.

I walked closer to Kacey, the knife gripped tightly in my hands. I watched as his eyes widen as I got near him, he cast a pleading look at me but it only made me angrier.

He wanted mercy from me when he gave me none!

“J-Jessy, p-please don’t d-do this, this is n-not y-you.”

Without thinking I took the knife a swiped it across his bare chest and looked in fascination as his skin opened up and blood started to run out. He screamed and I found myself smiling at how satisfied I felt hearing the sound.

I wanted to hear it again, so I swiped the knife again and again. Mik was right behind me, he placed his hands on my waist and whispered in my ears to stop or I might kill him too soon. I didn’t want to stop, but I did because he didn’t deserve a quick death.

Mik turned me to face him, and as I looked up at him his lips descended on mine. This kiss wasn’t like anything we’ve ever shared before, it was different, there were more heat and passion behind, and I knew it’s because he shared a part of his world with me and I embraced it.

When he pulled away, his eyes were burning with passion and a cocky smile was on his face.

“I’ve never been more f**king turned on in my life than I was watching you.”

I returned his smile and kissed him again, I all but forgot about the whimpering pervert behind me. However, when he started begging for his life again, I felt the rage inside of me renewed, so I took the knife from Mik and turn to face Kacey again.

“I’m going to enjoy making you pay for all pain you put me through, for all the tears I shed and for my innocence that you stole from me.”

When he started pleading with me again, I blocked him out and listen as Mik instruct me on where to stab him without killing him.

The screams ended directly twenty hours later, and I was a bit upset. He wasn’t supposed to die so soon, but I pushed the knife a little too deep into him and it hit a major artery, somewhere around his heart to be exact.

I’ve never considered myself cruel, but looking at Kacey’s mangled body I knew that I was capable of evil, and the fact that I enjoyed every last bit of it is what made it worse.

I looked at Mik and I knew that he saw what I felt… The old Jessy was gone and in her place a woman who refused to take shit from anyone!

When Mik brought me to the warehouse, I was curious to know what kind of birthday present he could possibly have for me in it, and when I saw Kacey chained up naked to the wall, I froze.

I was unsure whether I agree with what Mik did, but all of my uncertainties were wipe away when Kacey started begging me to let him go. All those times I begged him played back in my mind and I knew that I wanted him dead.

As I walked out of the building with Mik by my side, I knew that I not only killed Kacey, but I also killed Jessy.

five weeks later

So many people, all having their own reasons for being in this place. I wonder if they know why I’m here? They must know, I’m sure the fear is showing on my face like the mask of a clown.

I lightly tapped my foot and waited for my name to be called, I don’t even know why I bothered to come anyway, I knew exactly what he was going to say. But, was I really ready, am I cut out for that kind of life? I’ve never really pictured myself as that kind of person.

The little girl next to me playing with her dolls smiled at me, displaying her toothless mouth. I was too wired up to even return her smile, but she didn’t seem to notice.

She held up her dolls for me to see, one was a boy doll and one was a girl doll, they were both dressed in the prettiest of pinks. It looked like she made the outfits herself.

“This is the daddy doll, and this one is the mommy doll.” She pushed the dolls closer so that I could see. “See, the mommy doll is pregnant.”

The little girl proceeded to lift the mommy doll’s dress and detached the stomach to show me the little baby inside.

My eyes widened and I stared at her in horror, and just when I thought I was going to throw up, I heard my name called.

“Miss Shay?”

I couldn’t have jumped from my seat faster even if I had tried, I looked back to see the little girl fiddling with her doll, desperately trying to reattach the tummy.

As I got into the room, I took the seat that was offered to me and waited to be told what I already know.

“Miss Shay, the tests we took concluded that you are pregnant, from your hormone levels, I’d say in my professional opinion that you are around six to seven weeks along.”

I just stared at him without saying a word, just hearing him say it made it so much more real. I’m pregnant.

“I’m going to have a baby.”

It was more of a statement than a question, one that I needed to hear myself say out loud. However, hearing it out loud didn’t make it any less scary, if anything I felt more terrified.

“Yes, you are. Now, there are a few options that are there for you to consider if you are unsure about what to do. If you decide that you don’t want to keep the baby, you can always give it up for adoption or there is always the option of an abortion.”

I shook my head to stop him from talking, I didn’t want to give my baby away or have an abortion. I wanted my baby.

“I’m keeping it.”

The doctor went on to tell me about what I had to look forward to in the coming months, and he also gave me the name of an OBGYN, instructing me to book an appointment as soon as possible.

I barely heard any of what he said because my mind was more focus on the fact that I had a little human being growing inside of my body. I left the doctor’s office in a daze, I was so focused on the words that were printed on the paper, that I was holding in my hands, that when I got to my car I didn’t notice the person leaning up against it until it was too late.

“Hello there, you must Jessica, I’m Simone.”

I knew who the bitch was, I watched her shoot my boyfriend. I looked around to see if she had any of the other guys with her, but it looked like she came alone. Since she didn’t know that I knew who she was, I decided to play dumb.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

She smiled at me, displaying her pearly white, “No, but you’re going to, I think you and I can help each other out.”

Not in this lifetime bitch! I looked passed her to my car, if I can somehow get to my car, I can call Mik and tell him his crazy bitch of an ex is outside my doctor’s office.

“I’m sorry, you must have the wrong person.”

I tried to walk past her to get to my car, but she stepped out in front of me, blocking my escape.

“No, honey, you’re exactly the right person, Mik’s little whore.”

I narrowed my eyes at her when she referred to me as a whore, “What do you want?”

“I want to know where our lover is hiding, it’s becoming increasingly hard to find him these days.”

I crushed the paper in my hand and glared at her, “And what makes you think that I’d tell you where Mik is?”

She smiled sweetly at me and pushed her jacket to the side, revealing the gun that was there. If she thought that showing me her gun would scare me into talking, she had another thing coming.

“Is that supposed to scare me?”

I could see that I pissed her off, and to drive her point home, she pulled me by my shirt and pushed her gun into my stomach. It wasn’t until that moment that I remember that I wasn’t only living for me anymore, I had another life to think about.

“How about I shoot you now and then go and finish off the rest of your family?”

I heard her but it was like I didn’t, my eyes were glued to the paper and the gravity of the situation that I was in hit me.

Simone noticed my distraction before I could hide it, and she grabbed the paper out of my hand and read it. A sinister smile appeared on her face and she laughed.

“Oh, this couldn’t get any better. I’ve got an even better offer for you.”

I moved to snatch the paper away, but she held it out of my reach. I knew that whatever her offer was, I wasn’t going to like it.

“I’m not going to kill you like I intended to, I’ll let you live, but if I see you anywhere near Mik I will kill you. I want you to run, run as far away from here as you can, and if you tell Mik you’re pregnant I’ll know, and when I find you, I’ll make you watch as I cut your baby out of you and sell it to the highest bidder.”

I tried not to be scared, but the serious look in her eyes made me believe that she would indeed do exactly as she said she would.

“So, do we have a deal, Jessica?”

I knew that I didn’t have a choice, I didn’t want to break Mik’s heart and I knew that when he found out that I was gone it’ll kill him. But, what choice did I have, I couldn’t let her take my baby. I had to do what’s best for my baby, I just hope that in time Mik will understand why I did what I did.

“Yes, we have a deal.”