Ex-Husband's Regret

Rowan.

“How is she doing, Rowan?” Kate, Ava’s mother asks.

The concern in her voice is genuine. You can hear how hard she’s trying to stop herself from crying. It’s been a very hard couple of days and I still can’t over how we almost lost Ava

“She woke up yesterday for a few minutes before going back to sleep and before you start worrying, the doctor said it’s normal for patients with head injuries”

I hear her sigh with relief. Kate has been different since the death of her husband She wants to get close to Ava only now Ava has decided she doesn’t want anything to do with her family. In fact she doesn’t want anything to do with all of us.

“Will she be okay? Will she make a full recovery?”

“Yes, the doctors are confident, but they’re not sure if she will be completely okay. It’s still too early to tell but they say with this type of head injury there might be complications”

That was one of the things I was F***ing afraid of. In all honest I just wanted her to be okay.

“Don’t worry though, Ava is strong I’m sure she’ll pull through. I got to go but I’ll call when she

wakes up, the last time she did, she was asking about Noah”

“Okay, Rowan, please keep me informed and make sure she’s getting the best treatment”

“I will”

I hang up after that and watch her. She looks so peaceful and beautiful. Why have I never noticed how flawless her complexion is? Or how naturally long her eye lashes are? Or how full and red her

l*ps are

‘Because you never wanted to, you were so focused on hating and blaming her that you never noticed anything good about her‘ my inner voice whispers. *

I sigh because I know that it’s the truth. I never wanted her so I went to great lengths to block her out and it had worked until now. This new version of Ava demands attention. Demands to be noticed.

I take her hand in mine. It’s so small and so soft. I’ve been doing this a lot. Rubbing her wrist and feeling her pulse just to assure myself that she was still alive. That that bombing had not taken her from us

Whenever I think of that Sunday, my heart squeezes and I feel like I’m F***ing dying. I had called her to warn her to stay away from Emma. Emma had come to me crying. She told me that Ava had to lay it on her.

The moment I heard the booming sound and people screaming my breath hitched. I’d been left calling Ava’s name over the phone in panic.

My heart stopped when someone called me and told me that Ava’s car had been bombed and that she was badly hurt. I can’t explain how I F***ing felt but I know that it went beyond fear, beyond anguish. Something that I didn’t understand.

I shake myself from those thoughts and look at her room.

Some of the things her visitors brought had to be taken to her house because they couldn’t fit here. Most of them were from her students. Those kids adored Ava, no one needed to be told twice. They visited her in groups each day and called her nurse to check up on her.

I never cared for her work. Thinking that she was probably a failure but seeing her students lavish her with love changed my perspective. They wouldn’t do all that if she wasn’t a great teacher. Her colleagues also had nothing but praise for her, which just made me realize how much of her life I didn’t know. 

“Rowan” her soft voice pulls me from my thoughts.

I turn to look at Emma. Standing next to her is Travis. Unlike Emma, he looked like hell.

“Has she woken up?” Travis asks. His voice soft.

The whole thing had shaken him. Not only him but everyone. He came close to losing his sister and I guess it’s finally starting to sink in.

“No” I reply.

“You need to go home, Rowan” Emma says, “Go take a shower and change clothes then you can come back. You look like a zombie”

“I’m not leaving, Emma” I argue.

I couldn’t F***ing leave. What if something happened and I wasn’t around?

“You’re no good to her or anyone if you fall down in exhaustion…just go home, I’m sure it won’t take long for you to look presentable” Emma argues,

Travis looks at me and chips in “Emma is right, Rowan, I promise we won’t leave her even for a second”

I look at Ava She was still asleep and it didn’t seem like she would wake up anytime soon. Maybe I could go get a quick shower and then rush back.

“Okay then, but don’t leave her side” I snarl

She was attacked so who knew if those criminals would try to come back and finish the job.

Travis nods, his eyes on Ava. Emma just looks at me with her piercing blue eyes.

I stand up about to leave when Emma grabs my forearm and stops me.

“She’ll be okay…Ava is too stubborn to surrender to death” she says with her smile before pecking my l*ps. 1

I nod and leave. This is the first time that has happened. Since we decided to try again it’s been pecks on the cheek, chin and forehead. Her l*ps on mine is a first and even though I’ve dreamed about this for nine years I can’t help but feel that it’s wrong.

Her l*ps are wrong, the feel of them is wrong and the k*ss itself is F***ing wrong. Why the F*** would I be feeling this when Emma is the woman I’ve been craving for nearly a decade?

I get to my house and take the quickest shower known to man. I was dressing when I received a text from Travis letting me know that Ava had still not woken up yet. Since I was feeling tired, I decide to take a power nap. I haven’t slept in days.

I wake up with a start. Shit! I was supposed to sleep for thirty minutes and according to the time on my phone, I slept for three hours.

I put on my shoes and rush out after reading a message from Travis. Ava woke up about an hour ago and I hate that I wasn’t there.

Breaking every speed limit, I get to the hospital in forty minutes. I was just about to enter her room when I spotted Emma and Travis sitting outside.

“I thought I told you not to leave her F***ing side” I growl, feeling angry.

“She kicked us out” Emma answers emotionless.

“What do you mean ‘she kicked you out”

There was no way Ava would do that and despite what she feels towards her family she wouldn’t be cruel enough to kick them out in her time of need.

“Exactly that…she told the nurse that she didn’t want us in her room, so the nurse had no choice. but to demand we leave” Travis spoke.

There was an emotion in his voice. He was trying so hard to hide it but it was there.

Just then I hear her laugh before it’s followed by a groan.

“Is there someone in there with her?” I ask

Linma looks at me when she answers. Her eyes searching mine, for what, I have no damn clue

“Yes, Ethan came a few minutes after we were kicked out. He hasn’t left her side since then”

I feel my face harden and jaw lock. That F***ing bastard, what the hell was he doing here?

Without another word, I turn and enter her room without knocking.

Ethan is seated on her right with a bunch of open cards. Ava is seated slightly upwards. Despite the bandage on her head, and the scratches on her face, she was smiling and it transformed her face.

She faces me and the smile sl*ps from her face.

“Get out” she demands.

I guess she was back to being ice cold.

“Not gonna happen, Ava” I calmly tell her and take a seat on her left.

Her face is contorted in fury and her eyes are blazing. She was okay yesterday so what the hell happened? 

“I don’t want you here, so you could you just F***ing leave, and take those two with you…I don’t need any of you here”

I assume she was referring to Emma and Travis. Something happened. Yesterday she was cordial but today she was different. Maybe I shouldn’t have left her with Emma and Travis

“You need to calm down, Ava, remember you’re not well and you shouldn’t be stressing yourself out” Ethan cuts in.

He takes her hand and gently squeezes it. She looks at their joined hands and then his face. Her eyes soften and she loses the angry heat that had consumed her.

I ball my fist. The need to wrench her hand from his almost consuming. Shouldn’t I be happy that she had gotten her clutches in another man? I should feel relieved that her obsession with me was finally over, so why wasn’t I happy seeing this? Why did it piss me off seeing that soft look directed at Ethan and not me? 

Before I can get any answer to those question, the door opens and the chief of police enters the room.

Ethan lets go of Ava’s hands and stands up.

“Chief” he greets.”

“Good to see you Ethan” he claps him in the back before turning to us. “Miss Sharp, I was hoping to ask you some questions”

Ava nods while Ethan sits down and takes her hand again.

“Do you remember anything strange about the day you were attacked?” he asks her, taking out a pen and note book

“No, not really it was a pretty normal day I woke up, had breakfast and went to church”

“What about the day before, did you notice anyone you didn’t recognize?”

Ava shakes her head A frown marring her face. She tries to get into a comfortable position but Winces

“Do you have enemies? Someone who might want you dead?”

“I normally just keep to myself, I don’t know anyone who would want me dead”

“You haven’t answered my question, do you have any enemies?”

Ava begms rubbing her temples The frown on her face deepening.

“Look, I have people who don’t like me, my family for example but I doubt they would want me dead” 

The chief looks at her for while then writes something down. Something about the way the chief was asking these questions wasn’t making sense?

“Seems like the bomb was installed when you were in church and was activated when you used your car keys….did you notice any strange sounds coming from your car before you unlocked it?” he asked her

Ava shakes her head. “No, I was a bit distracted”

I feel guilty. She had been distracted because of me. Because I had called to yell at her.

“Why are you asking her this? I thought her attack was related to the criminal gang” I ask him. There was something I was missing. 3

“That’s what we originally thought with the first shoot out, but with what happened on Sunday, we have reason to believe that Miss Ava is being specifically targeted. What we aren’t sure is whether it is by the gang or someone else” he finishes speaking, leaving us completely shell shocked