When Perfect Meets Crazy

Chapter 20: 19.5 - Through his eyes (Bonus)

She was drowsy and very much out of it. It showed in the way her smile drooped, in the way her words

slurred and most importantly, in the way she was being far too honest and just the tinniest bit

vulnerable. He was getting another peek at the little girl inside just like the day he caught her bawling

her eyes out. Thanks to the meds, she wasn’t her normal calm and collected self. She wasn’t trying to

be perfect Avy Johnson, borderline genius and all-round trophy child. Yet, he couldn’t help but think she

had never seemed more endearing, more perfect. Perfect should’ve tried to be her if you asked him.

“So why did you do it?” he continued.

“Because.” She smiled lazily.

It was the goofiest expression he had ever seen on her and if he wasn’t currently seeing it with his own

eyes, he would’ve sworn she was incapable of such.

“Because,” she repeated, giggling to herself as though something about the word was hilarious. “If I

don’t, someone else will have to. And by someone, I mean Olly.” A wide smile stretched across her

face. “But I love her too much. Aren’t I an amazing older sister?”

The smile on her upturned face reminded him of his own younger sister. It was full of child-like

innocence and a longing for validation.

Something in his chest tightened.

“Olly will have to do that girl’s dirty work? No offense but Olly seems like she can handle a bully just

fine,” he replied, forcing himself to focus on the conversation.

“No.”

She waved her hand enthusiastically, almost stabbing a finger in his eye.

“No. No. No,” she repeated, pulling the covers up to her chin as though to hide her face. “No. It’s not

Claire. Nobody cares about Claire. You’re not getting it...” Her eyes lazily drifted shut as she trailed off.

She was already halfway into dreamland. He was losing this opportunity. Thanks to it, he now knew

why she went to the arena -because Olly wanted to-, why she didn’t scream when she found him in her

room -she didn’t think she would come out unscathed if her mom caught him in her room since he

wasn’t middle aged and unattractive-, what she would do if she could do anything for a day -skydive,

fall in love and spend what was left of the day at an amusement park ‘like in the movies’, he couldn’t

help but shudder at that one- and lastly, why she acted the way she did like her life was constantly

being evaluated.

By God, he really hoped she would conveniently forget the entire conversation come morning because

he couldn’t picture a version of reality where she wouldn’t be super pissed at him for having taken

advantage of her lapse in judgement and bad reaction to the meds.

“What am I not getting, Avy?” he asked, lightly shaking her awake.

He was going to pump out all the information he could while he still had the chance. The plan was to

finally figure out if there was more to her or if she really was just a harmless civilian who stumbled on

the wrong secret.

Her eyelids slowly fluttered open and for the first time, he noticed that she had thick clumpy eyelashes.

“Hmmm?” She blinked, her disoriented gaze gradually settling on him.

“Your face is so close,” she mumbled, pushing his face away and almost blinding him in the process. “I

like your werewolf brows. Have I ever told you?”

“Anyway,” she continued before he could reply. He was too busy rubbing at the eye she had almost

poked out anyway. “It’s not about Claire. It’s about my mom. My family.” She yawned.

“What about your family?”

“Do you really think I enjoy never having a free weekend?” she slurred. “Or having three after-school

jobs?”

He shrugged. To be honest, he got the feeling she did.

“No.” She scoffed. “I don’t. Well...” she trailed off, brows furrowing in concentration as she struggled to

keep her eyelids open.

The image was too endearing. He found himself averting his gaze.

“I kind of do now... but!” Her voice rose suddenly, drawing his gaze back to her. He found her

excessively wagging a finger at him like a drunk. “I didn’t before because it was tiring. I do now

because it has grown on me. My mommy needs a child to mold to perfection and my dad needs a child

to terrorize and take his frustrations out on.”

Her mouth opened in a wide unflattering yawn.

“Sometimes I think he might be... not okay.” Her eyes closed as she pressed a finger her temples,

turning it in circular motions that indicated insanity.

“You know?” she went on, lazily forcing her eyelids open as if the motion alone took too much effort. “I

feel like he might be bipolar or something but... oh well.” She blinked idly. “What was I saying again?”

Her gaze couldn’t seem to focus on him. If he had to guess, he would’ve said she was seeing doubles

again.

“Yes,” she nodded groggily, “the perfect child for my parents. They need that and if it’s not me, it’ll be

Olly.”

She laid back on the bed and snuggled into the covers, eyelids at half-mast.

“So it has to be me. I can handle it. I’m better equipped to.”

She yawned again, turning away from him.

“Olly is a free spirit. She’ll be miserable,” she slurred.

In the silence that followed, her breathing deepened and evened. She curled into foetal position,

tucking her hands under her head.

“I can handle it,” she whispered softly in her sleep.

As he fixed the covers so her feet were no longer hanging outside, he knew he was very much in

trouble. She was far more dangerous than he initially thought but for very, very different reasons.

Yes, she was what he thought in that she was a girl with secrets and that she could and was used to

slaying dragons but contrary to what he formerly thought, he wasn’t one of her dragons. She wasn’t out

to get him. She wasn’t rolling with criminal kingpins and drug-lords. He had been wrong on that account

but more than that, he could tell she was tired. That she was just hanging on till she could get out. She

was living half a life, burying her impulses and ignoring any desires that didn’t fit into what was

expected of her.

He used to think that was just how she was but now, he knew it wasn’t. She wanted to lay down her

arms and have her dragons slayed for her for a minute. Or even just be acknowledged for all the work

she put in. She wanted to be seen.

He wasn’t, not by any stretch of imagination, a caretaker or a lover and fixer of the broken. She wasn’t

even his type. Not the least bit close but something warned him to tread carefully regardless. That she

could easily become anyone’s type if they paid a little too much attention.

With his heart pounding just a little harder, he snuck out the window.

The man already said she was cleared. The deep dive into her, her family and associates had not

turned up anything. He no longer needed to follow her around. That was why he stayed away all week.

He had no reason for showing up today either. He just wanted to. That was enough of a red flag to

know he should fall back.

Maybe it was for the best that she had been cleared. It was time to put some distance between them.

He saw her more than he saw his girlfriend. That alone was a disaster waiting to hatch.

“Good bye, Avy,” he whispered with one last look over his shoulder before he crept away.