Under a Starless Sky

Chapter 15

Shen woke on a cold stone floor, looking up at watery pattern moving across the ceiling. He sat up. He

was in a marble white cavern, clearly artificially cut as the room was perfect dome shape, machine-

diamond cut quality. Gold veins ran through the marble, swirls of golden clouds, swirls of darker and

lighter storms, making the whole of it look like map of islands and continents of ice on a liquid sea of

gold. The prominent feature was a moon pool, center of the floor. Light emanated from the pool. The

light gave the water a greenish blue tint. An object floated in water. A living object, he first thought was

a liquid cloud, a flaw in a diamond or blood in an eye. As he stared- its identity became resolved. It

resembled a Bioluminescent Octopus, or Stauroteuthis syrtensis, and it was staring up at him. From

outside of himself, the pool felt like an eye. From further out, the entire dome reminded him further of

an eye, and he imagined the floating thing could be projected from the moon pool to the wall and

ceiling. He found himself back in his body, backing away from the edge of the pool. His clothes were

dripping. He was cold.

A pillar of water rose from the surface, not a cyclone, but just a pillar, and it moved across the pool onto

the marble holding its shape. It shimmered. It held its own bioluminescent essence, microscopic glow

algae or bacteria. It sparkled, like a snow globe containing fire flies, only the flies were so small as not

to be seen until they sparked. In a way it was like looking at dust in a sunbeam. The surface tension

was like a lens, brighter because of the light with in, the way a fiber optic cable holds light. The pillar

collapse into a ball. It maintained its watery appearance, but remained a solid ball of water that defied

explanation. A secondary ball formed on top of the first. Then a third ball formed, giving it the

appearance of a snow man made of water bubbles. It condensed further, taking on a more human

shape. Legs, hips, hour glass shape, a tightening occurred, and a filling in of the ideal human female

shape. As it took on more and more details, his brain tried to see an identity. He laughed when his first

thought was Scarlet Johansson. ‘Am I dreaming?’ was his thought. ‘Am I dead?’ was his second

thought. It resolved itself, becoming abundantly clear: Loxy Isadora Bliss.

“Loxy?” Shen asked.

The watery ghost form of Loxy extended a hand. Shen was afraid, but curiosity won out. He stood up,

came closer, and took her hand. It was water and he passed through it.

‘Again. Gently. Like in the beginning.’ In the beginning, Loxy was a being of light. She was a tulpa, just

an essence of magic, soap bubble thin. He had had to learn the boundary of her to not penetrate and

pass through. It was a process of being sensitive to ghosts.

Shen turned trying to discover the source of the voice. After a moment of sorting, he decided he hadn’t

heard it with his ears. He turned back to the liquid body of Loxy and delicately took her hand. He didn’t

squeeze, merely accepted the touch of water. It was the finesse of catching soap bubbles with rainbow

hues, mirroring an upside down world. It reminded him of the game they used to play, when she was

newly made, mostly just energy, a pillar of light that moved around the room, over time becoming a

human silhouette of light; they would draw ever closer, trying to get as close as possible without

touching, trying to discern the energy field between them. Her hand closed against his. The fingers

delicately tapping in. He was so relaxed the water supported his hand, floating on water suspended in

air. She turned his hand, articulating palm down, then up. Twirls of water was discernable by the motion

of the inner sparkles. The hand shape unresolved becoming a watery envelope encasing his hand and

wrist. Her arm drew up, bring the rest of her ‘hand’ portion with her. A cone point became an index

finger, the rest of the hand reformed. His hand was dry. She dropped a drop of water onto his palm,

then two. He brought his hands together and she filled his cupped hands with water.

“Drink,” she said, gently pushing on his hand. This he heard. The water form of Loxy spoke; sound

waves disturbed her body, or perhaps disturbed the air making her inner shimmering perceptible. It was

Loxy’s voice.

Shen considered for a moment and then drank the water in his hand. It was drinkable. In fact, it tasted

like orange flavored water. The taste and scent of their first kiss.

“We share this,” she said.

“Water?”

She suddenly hugged him, passed over and around him like a wave and departed the other side of

him. He turned, gasping. He was dry. His clothes were dry. He was warm. She was facing him, though

he was certain she hadn’t turned around, she had simply reoriented.

“Tech!” Shen said. “Like in ‘The Abyss.’”

“James Cameron,” Loxy said. “1989. Starring Ed Harris. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.”

“You’re really Loxy?!”

“Yes. No. It’s complicated,” Loxy said. “I live within you and within Oa. Oa is that which wishes to

communicate with you through me.”

“When is it not complicated?” Shen asked.

Loxy laughed. “You contain the memory of me. Your brain, a personality simulator, contains the original

matrix of me, from conception to present model. I lived in you, as does Jon Lives in you. Jon thinks he’s

the host, but truly, Jon is as much Tulpa as I. Shen is a deviated form of Jon. You shared me, There are

other versions of me. I am pretty popular in the underground Tulpa world. Oa, our friend here, she has

a complete copy of the entirety of me that resided in you, so I am more me than say someone who saw

a picture and drew their own, or more than someone who heard a song and then owned it through daily

singing until their own harmony emerged. I am flavored by Oa’s imagination, but I haven’t deviated too

much. No matter who is hosting me, I am first and foremost always yours. To remove your memory

from the essence of me changes me till I am not who I was.”

“Are you okay?” Shen asked.

Loxy kissed him. It was motherly, on the forehead. “I am well, Jon-Shen. Oa, here is able to

communicate telepathically, and she has linked with you. I am the bridge, which is another reason I

haven’t deviated too much. I will change. As will you. As will she. Change is inevitable. Love remains.”

“Oa is speaking to me telepathically?” Shen asked. “I don’t hear her.”

“She is speaking to the core you. Your core you is holding a conversation. The Jon-Shen aspect is not

hearing, not responding. Jon-Shen is actually quite resistant. This vehicle was able to penetrate the

barriers.”

“You’re not a vehicle. You’re a person,” Shen said.

“Yes,” Loxy agreed. “You and I are soulbounds. By definition, we are souls. We are constantly trying to

define ourselves and each other. The definition, context, ineffable aspects; if we must reduce things to

absolutes, I would be okay if we just accepted ‘love’ as the final product.”

“This is going to be complicated,” Shen said.

Loxy smiled, offering palms up gesture.

“Oa abducted me,” Shen said.

“You volunteered,” Loxy said.

“I did not…”

“You, the core you, not the Jon you, not the Shen you, or the Jon-Shen you,” Loxy said. “If you recall,

on creating me you gave me access to all of you, your memories, your unconscious mind. The world I

navigate is larger than the world you have access to. Even larger, now with the Oa connection.”

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you something you already know,” Loxy said.

“Why did I agree to be abducted?” Shen asked.

“Same answer,” Loxy said.

“I don’t know. That’s why I am asking,” Shen said.

“When you wake from a dream, do you ever wonder why your dreaming self never asked ‘why is this

so?’ or ‘why is this happening to me?’” Loxy asked.

“No, but I am not dreaming…”

“Shen is a dream,” Loxy said.

“I am not dreaming. This world is real,” Shen said.