Uncontrollable Tempration

Sophia Parker

Lily came through just as I called her. Her apartment was just upstairs anyways.

“Sophia what are you doing on the floor of your kitchen?” She mused.

She came over to where I was, curled up on the floor at the corner. Tears staining my cheeks.

“What happened? Why are you crying?”

“I screwed up everything Lily… I screwed up badly.” I said between sobs.

“What do you mean you screwed up? Sophia you just got back from Michigan. Come here.” She pulled me up from the floor. “What happened to you?”

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, not knowing where exactly to start from.

“Does this have to do with your boss?” She asked and I nodded. “Please stop crying Sophia. Come, let’s talk in your room.”

We both went to my bedroom. I sat on my bed and wrapped myself in my comforter while Lily sat at the edge of my bed beside me.

“What happened between the two of you? Did you guys finally talk?” She asked.

“Well… not really.” My voice was thick and heavy. “But he was just here a while ago.”

“Oh… let me guess, you guys had an argument instead.”

“He hates me Lily, He hates me now. I’ve screwed up so badly, I don’t think I can ever face him again.” I burst into tears once more.

“Calm down Sophia, what did you do?”

“I kissed him.” I said and Lily’s eyes widened.

“That’s not a bad thing! Did he kiss back?”

“He did but then he threw me off him and complained. He thinks I’m playing him.”

“That’s ridiculous!”

I don’t blame him for thinking that way at all. If I was him I would definitely hate myself too. I was the one who jumped into the conclusion that he was using me. Now that I know the truth, I feel like a blockhead!

“Lily, for you to understand then I have to tell you everything.”

“Im listening.”

“Mr Wilson kissed me for the first time during our trip to London but I rejected him. At that time, I wasn’t sure about getting involved with him because he was my boss. He promised he wouldn’t do it again but he stole another kiss from me the day he got shot. That’s when I realised that I really cared for him. When he got discharged from the hospital, I kissed him that day to show that I was interested. The same night I got the text from the blondie during our sleep over. I was angry and I left the next day to Richmond. A week later, he came to Richmond and there he kissed me. I slapped him and told him never to kiss me again… and I also slapped him again on another occasion. Don’t forget the pool thing too.”

“So now he thinks you’re a confused person because you kissed him today.” She concluded.

“Exactly.”

“Seems valid. I mean, you’re actually confused.”

“I’m not!” I defended. “At least not anymore. I found out who the blonde girl is.”

“Who is she?”

“You were right. She’s a crazy ex girlfriend. I am now 100% positive that the picture was not what it looked like. Mr Wilson wouldn’t kiss Charlene. It was all a mistake.” I sniffed.

Lily threw her hands in the air in frustration and plopped herself backwards on the bed.

“You two are so annoying!” She groaned.

“I’m the one with the problem.” I admitted. “Now, I’ve missed out on the opportunity to be with someone who loved me and cared about me.”

“I thought you didn’t believe that he loves you.”

“I believe it now. He told me himself.”

Lily’s eyes widened and she shot up from the bed.

“He did?!”

“Relax Lily.” I smiled for the first time. “It was a drunken confession. Besides that was before, I don’t think he still loves me anymore.”

“Shut up Sophia! All your judgements are terrible. Do you think its easy to retract your love for someone just like that?!”

I stared at her, not knowing what to say. She held on to my shoulders and pulled me close to her.

“On Monday morning, I want you to go to work, into his office, and tell him everything he doesn’t know. This time don’t just kiss him, tell him you love him! Then, you need to clear out all the things that are presently causing problems in your relationship. Starting with Charlene’s picture, okay?”

“Okay. I will.”

“Perfect.” She smiled in satisfaction.

“Lily can I stay at your’s tonight? My place is really dusty.”

“Sure, we could watch a romance movie on Netflix! Plus, I have some cookie dough Ice cream in my freezer.” She grinned.

“Sounds amazing.”

———-

I walked into Wilson & Co. knowing that I am going to see HIM today. After a long weekend of crying and depression, I am finally going to sort things out with him today. Just the thought of him made my heart beat wildly in my chest.

Today, I am going to tell him that I love him and I want to be with him. I don’t want a professional relationship with him anymore, not after all that has happened between us. It’s impossible. Hopefully, he wouldn’t reject me this time.

I absentmindedly greeted some workmates I came across on my way. They seemed happy to see me after 2 weeks but my mind was set on only him.

I got to my office a bit early so I wasn’t expecting Mr Wilson to be around. It was 7:50am. Although he said I could come in much later, I just couldn’t wait to see him. Lily and I countlessly rehearsed what I am going to tell him today and I felt so nervous, like I was about to give a speech.

I went over to the kitchen and ground two cups of coffee beans. One for him and one for myself. I’ll give his to him when he arrives.

Oh I can’t wait! But I’m also scared as hell!

I drank my coffee and waited patiently at my desk. I switched on my computer to start work but then, I realized there was no work to do. I haven’t been in the office for two weeks and I don’t know what happened while I wasn’t here.

I’ll just have to wait for Mr Wilson to give me new instructions so I fiddled with the computer a bit. When I got bored, I checked the time.

8:30am

I frowned.

“Where are you?!” I groaned to myself. Why is he late?

Then a thought hit me.

Maybe he told me not to come early because he wasn’t going to come early either. That made sense.

I relaxed in my chair hoping to snooze till he comes. But the moment I closed my eyes, memories of Friday night’s kiss flooded my thoughts. I smiled in reminiscence. It was so amazing… up until the part when he threw me off him.

“Ahhhhhhh!” I screamed. I was so frustrated with myself. Remembering everything he said about how indecisive I am. He must think I’m crazy, but I’m not. I was just preventing myself from getting hurt. Either way, I am still hurt.

I stood up and paced around my office. I couldn’t sit in one place doing nothing while I waited for him. I was extremely restless and idle.

I picked up my phone and called Lily.

“Hey.” She picked up after the second ring. “How did it go?”

“Lily he’s not here yet. I’ve been waiting for him for almost 2 hours.” I whined.

“Don’t be worried Sophia. Do something to pass the time while you wait for him.”

“I have nothing to do Lily, I haven’t been in the office for 2 weeks.”

“Okay… Then watch a movie or something.”

I thought about it and it sounded like a good idea. I could setup Netflix on my computer and continue watching Narcos.

“Okay. Are you at work?” I asked.

“Yeah, I am. We’re preparing to go to court tomorrow.”

“I guess I’ll leave you to do your work then. See you in the evening.”

“Bye Sophia.”

I hung up and went back to my computer, opening Netflix. I watched till I got hungry. Had lunch by 2pm, and continued watching. When I was done with Narcos, I moved on to watch about 2 more movies.

I don’t know how long I was in my office for but I heard a knock on my door that made me jump. I had been so engrossed in my computer that I had completely forgotten where I was.

“Come in!” I called out to the person. I knew it wasn’t Mr Wilson because he never knocks before entering my office.

The door opened and it was Phoebe.

“Oh, hey Phoebe!” I said excitedly. I hadn’t seen her in a while.

“Oh don’t hey me! You’re back in New York and you couldn’t even tell me. I had to find out from somebody at the office.” She sounded pissed.

“I’m sorry. I just got back on Friday.” I tried to explain.

“That was three days ago Sophia. How about stopping by at my cubicle this morning to say hi? At least that would have been a nice surprise.”

I was looking forward to seeing Mr Wilson in the morning that’s why I forgot to stop by and see her. But how could I explain that to her?

“I really am sorry, I should have come to see you. But certain things have happened over the past week and it just skipped my mind.”

“Whatever? What are you still doing here anyway?”

“Oh, I’m just waiting for Mr Wilson. He hasn’t come to work yet.” Or maybe he did… Just not to his office. But how would I know? I was too busy watching movies. “Did you happen to see him around anywhere?” I asked her.

“Sophia, if Mr Wilson didn’t come to work by this time then I’m sure he’s not coming at all!”

“What? Wait- what’s the time?”

“It’s past 5!”

What?!

I checked the time on my computer and Phoebe was right. It was 5:32pm. Almost 6!

“Oh my gosh! It really is!”

“Sophia, is everything okay?” She asked.

“Yes I’m fine.” I lied.

So he didn’t come today. And I’ve been here stupidly waiting for him, anticipating to see him again.

“We need to get going Sophia. Everyone’s left the office already. I was surprised to see you’re still here. I thought you left without seeing me.”

“Oh Phoebe, if I wasn’t so distracted I’m sure I would have come down to see you before I left.” It was partly true, what I said.

“Okay, okay let’s go.” She smiled playfully.

***

“He didn’t show up?”

“No he didn’t.” I shook my head.

“That bastard!” Lily exclaimed.

“Lily! Don’t call him that!” I scolded her. We were both in her room and I had just told her about Mr Wilson not coming to work today.

“Aren’t you angry at him for not showing up?”

“No. Not really. Maybe something came up or he had plans. Besides, he’d didn’t assure me that he was going to be at the office today.”

“Sophia, I think he’s avoiding you.” She said carefully.

“No he’s not.”

“Give me your phone then.” She ordered.

“What for? Are you going to call him?”

“Yes!”