psychiatrist
Marco could only wait in another room for an hour. Beyond that, he felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety as Letta began to be left with a psychiatrist currently inside the room. Marco didn’t know the condition of his wife and how far it had progressed, until finally the door in front of him opened, revealing a smiling doctor.
“For Mrs. Letta, you can accompany our nurse to another room, and for Mr. Marco, you can come in with me,” said a female psychiatrist named Maria. Letta then gripped the clothing Marco was wearing slightly, making Maria smile. “It’s okay, you will just do some relaxation with our nurse to make you less tense. It’s alright, I will talk to your husband,” Maria said, trying to calm Letta, which eventually made Letta follow the nurse’s steps.
Meanwhile, Marco entered immediately. Marco sat across from Maria, who was now looking at the white paper in front of her, which seemed to be the result of her examination with Letta, until Maria looked at Marco.
“You must be aware of what happened to your wife, because you are the one who lives with her and sees her every day. And by now, you may have suspected that your wife is experiencing anxiety disorders, or what is often referred to as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And that is a serious anxiety problem that arises as a result of mistreatment that leaves deep trauma for someone,” explained Maria, pausing as she looked at Marco, who remained silent, listening.
“So, I want to ask first, because earlier she mentioned that she lost part of her memory after experiencing an incident. Is that true?” Maria asked, making Marco nod.
“Yes, there was an incident that happened and it put my wife in a coma for a few months, and the doctor said that’s what caused her to lose some of the memories she had experienced before,” said Marco, making Maria nod.
“As I suspected, your wife also mentioned that every night she always has bad dreams. She also feels something that makes her feel scared,” Maria said again, making Marco still silent to listen to everything.
“When your wife experiences trauma, the fear continues to arise and linger in the mind. This bad experience can alter someone’s identity or personality. It’s possible that your wife is haunted by fear and feels insecure at all times, especially at night, when it’s time to rest. Automatically, the brain will help her remember that incident, in the form of nightmares. It seems that slowly the memories that your wife had experienced before are starting to be re-embedded in her mind, and it seems to be interpreted as a nightmare. However, perhaps it is the actual event that your wife should remember. And my question is, this is an important question that you must answer honestly, so that I can analyze how and to what extent your wife’s current condition is,” Maria said again, making Marco silent before nodding his head.
“Yes, I will answer whatever you ask,” Marco said again.
“Beforehand, did your wife experience violence or a bad event that traumatized her?” Maria asked again, making Marco silent. Marco seemed drawn to the time when he truly hurt Letta mercilessly. But now, Marco seemed to have to tell everything for the sake of his wife’s well-being.
“In the early days of our marriage, there were too many differences of opinion and also small fights, and it was during those times that we sometimes let it out in the form of emotions that made us lose control. So, a few times, I have hurt her physically. It was truly my fault, and when my wife fell into a coma, I truly regretted it.
Until now, I hope that the bad memories are truly forgotten by my wife because they are the bad memories that I engraved for her. I might have been very anxious, even very scared, when the doctor said my wife was in a coma, but there was something that made me feel relieved when the doctor said that some of her memories would be lost. Before the coma period, it meant my wife would forget all the bad events. That’s why, when my wife said a few months ago that she had a memory in her mind, I asked the doctor if I could suppress her memories again,” Marco said, pausing as he saw Maria’s serious gaze.
“Then what did you do with the doctor?” Maria asked again.
“The doctor prescribed medication to suppress her memories from resurfacing, although the doctor said there would be side effects experienced by Letta. But still, I insisted on getting it, because the side effects were just mild headaches. But it turned out my efforts were in vain when fate said otherwise to bring back Letta’s memories. Even those medications worsened her condition,” Marco said, making Maria sigh.
“That was your mistake, and you should not have punished your wife like that. Maybe you have forgiven her by now, but that was another form of cruelty that you inflicted by holding back all her memories from resurfacing,” Maria said again.
“It’s because I didn’t want her to leave me. I didn’t want her to feel pain again because those memories resurfaced.”
“But that’s not the right way. Right now, let your wife remember whatever she should remember. If necessary, maybe she should be reunited with people who can help her remember everything, not in nightmares, but by hearing stories she should remember from others, people close to her that she knew before, like family or her closest friends,” Maria said again, making Marco clench his fists.
“There’s no one for my wife to remember,” Marco said, making Maria furrow her brow.
“What do you mean?” Maria asked again.
“My wife is alone now. Besides, I don’t know where her friends or distant relatives are right now. That’s why it’s difficult to provide her with an understanding if we get her memories back,” Marco said again. And that was just an excuse, because of course Marco could easily find maybe Abian, Aunt Miti, or even Mia. Marco just didn’t want everything to come back together around Letta, as it would mean a greater chance of Letta leaving him.
“Are you being honest with me?” Maria asked.
“Yes, I’m trying to be honest about my wife’s condition, and that’s what actually happened,” Marco said again, making Maria finally let out a long sigh.
“Alright, then my advice for now is that you might be able to tell how your wife was before you got married. You can tell everything, it will reduce the nightmares she’s been experiencing. Although I know it might sound very painful, but it’s better to be honest than for her to slowly remember and end up being angrier at you,” Maria said, making Marco sigh deeply. Marco continued to accept the advice given by Maria and also shared everything he felt, until finally a nurse entered the room.
“Mrs. Letta is done and waiting in the waiting room,” the nurse said, making Marco nod.
“Alright, then, since our Q&A session is over, you can go meet your wife. And for the next appointment, I hope there will be progress, perhaps one of them is by being honest with your wife,” Maria said, making Marco just nod, because Marco wasn’t sure if he could tell everything to Letta or not. I will think about it before their next visit schedule.
Marco immediately left the room, revealing Letta waiting for him anxiously.
“What did she say?” Letta asked, making Marco smile and extend his hand.
“Everything is fine. We will talk about it at home. It’s better for us to go home now, how about that?” Marco asked, making Letta nod in agreement.