leave him
Letta then immediately opened her eyes wide. If in the previous nights Letta was disturbed by the nightmares of her past that haunted her, about her lost memories now being different, now it seemed like a flashback with all that she had forgotten, and she remembered it again. Now it was the mistreatment of Marco that had tormented her, which now made Letta unable to sleep soundly. But it didn’t affect Letta in any way. Letta didn’t feel tremors or fear. For some reason, perhaps because she was too numb to all the pain Marco had inflicted on her.
Eventually, Letta turned to her side, where Marco was holding her tightly, his warm breath on her neck made Letta loosen Marco’s embrace slightly, looking at how her husband was sleeping peacefully. Letta then reached out to touch the side of her husband’s face. But it stopped. For some reason, Letta felt like killing the man next to her. However, it all seemed to dissipate on its own when the love Letta felt for Marco made her curse herself.
Letta then shook her head. She didn’t want to be defeated by the love she felt, she had to understand the pain she had endured all this time. How could the man beside her not receive punishment for all the things he had done, instead he continued to deceive her by taking advantage of her memory loss. Until finally, Letta could see Marco slowly opening his eyes, looking at Letta, trying to focus his gaze.
“Why did you wake up?” Marco asked, looking at the clock that had just struck 2:00 a. m.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Letta answered calmly, causing Marco to sit up slightly.
“I thought you were having bad dreams again,” Marco asked, causing Letta to shake her head. Letta then did the same, leaning back on the bed, still looking at her husband, who still seemed sleepy.
“Just go to sleep. Didn’t you say there’s an important meeting tomorrow?” Letta said, causing Marco to shake his head. After that, he pulled Letta closer to him, resting his face on Letta’s shoulder and neck.
“How could I leave my wife awake at night like this,” Marco said, making Letta close her eyes when she felt the warmth from her husband.
“Maybe I’m too excited and having trouble sleeping because tomorrow we’ll go get Freya,” Letta said again, making Marco smile.
“Yes, I’m looking forward to it too. I miss how this house feels warm again with our daughter’s presence,” Marco said, making Letta fall silent.
“Does it feel lonely not hearing Freya’s voice?” Letta asked again, causing Marco to nod.
“Yes, even though previously this big house was very cold and felt lonely. But since your presence, especially with Freya, this house feels warm. I feel more comfortable staying at home,” Marco said, looking up, looking at his wife, making Letta smile faintly.
“Yes, all that will come true tomorrow, right?” Letta said, making Marco nod. It seemed that Letta already knew what she had to do, which was to make Marco go back to the point where he hadn’t met her and Freya. The best way to punish Marco was to leave him. It would hurt her more than anything because even though Letta realized how cruel Marco had tortured her in the past, Letta couldn’t deny that Marco loved her very much. Especially with Freya’s presence. And to punish the man beside her was to torture him with the love she herself had. The more Marco’s love grew, loving her and their daughter, the better it would be for Letta to stay away from Marco’s life.
“In that case, we’d better go back to sleep. I don’t want to make you late and blame me,” Letta said, making Marco smile.
“In that case, come here,” Marco said, spreading his arms, making Letta immediately enter the warm embrace of her husband, lying back down with Marco trying to close his eyes again.
“You have to sleep too. Remember, you shouldn’t think too much. Anything can affect your health condition again. I don’t want you to feel pain or have nightmares again,” Marco said, kissing the top of Letta’s head, making Letta fall silent.
“That won’t happen. It seems that since my visit to the psychiatrist, I’ve been able to start controlling myself not to want my memories back too much,” Letta said, making Marco loosen his embrace slightly, looking at Letta with a broad smile.
“Are you sure?” Marco asked, making Letta nod her head.
“Yes, maybe it’s because lately I’ve had someone to talk to with Arabella, so I’m not too focused on all the memories that sometimes cross my mind. I’ve also rarely imagined the nightmares I’ve had. It seems that I need to have many activities to not think too much about those memories,” Letta said, making Marco smile.
“I’m glad to see you back like this. I don’t not want your memories to come back, but it’s just bad for you. I’ve been more pensive, and your body has become even thinner like this, and more importantly, we have to stay away from Freya,” Marco said, making Letta smile and nod her head.
“Forgive me for making you worried. In the future, as much as possible, I will control myself,” Letta said, causing Marco to shake his head.
“No need to go that far. If you truly can’t handle it on your own, you can confide in me. You can tell me anything you feel, but remember, don’t let yourself get too lost in all those memories. It will only bring you back down,” Marco said, making Letta nod her head.
“Alright, then let’s get ready to sleep again, okay? It seems like Pedro will contact me directly soon. I need to rest,” Marco said, making Letta nod her head.
“Oh, I forgot. Give me a sweet kiss first, so I can fall asleep soundly,” Marco said, making Letta slightly stunned. But the next moment, Letta immediately kissed her husband’s cheek. But Marco shook his head.
“Come on, that won’t be enough. Here,” Marco said, pointing to his lips, making Letta gaze at her husband’s lips. For some reason, her heart started pounding fast. It was as if it were her first time doing something like this. As her memory slowly returned, Letta began to lean in and kissed Marco’s warm lips before pulling away.
“Thank you. It seems like I will really sleep soundly again,” Marco said, pulling Letta into his embrace and closing his eyes. Letta could hear Marco’s heartbeat becoming calmer, his breaths more regular. It made Letta just hold her husband, feeling his warmth and the warm breaths from him as he seemed to fall asleep again.
Letta looked up. Although at times she might feel weak with the love she felt for Marco, Letta was very sure about the plan she had to execute. Letta truly would vanish like dust carried away by the wind from Marco’s life. If Marco truly loved her, that would be his greatest punishment, and Letta had to do it.
Letta didn’t want Marco to get too used to all the comforts in his life. He had to feel the consequences of the pain he had inflicted. She didn’t want to deceive herself and the lingering pain by staying close to Marco.