Tolerating The Player

The classes were over and it was time for our lunch break, Devin and I both left the classroom immediately as we made our way to the cafeteria. He still doesn’t know what I was up to and I wasn’t intending on telling him. He would probably preach to me about it.

I sat down on the bench as Devin offered to go get our lunch. Thoughts of what I would do were all in my head and as soon as I raised my head I caught Devin talking to Bella and they seemed to be smiling and happy, he wasn’t a social type so why would he talk to Bella. I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I tried to distract myself from the obvious. I couldn’t be jealous, I’m in no place to be jealous of who she talks to.

Devin soon came back with our lunch in his hand with a smug smile on his face. I collected my lunch from him trying to avoid his eyes but his smile was impossible to avoid.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” I said and it was obvious there was a hint of jealousy in my voice. Why the hell am I jealous?

“Why what’s wrong with me?” he replied, still with a smile on his face. Sometimes his sense of humour around me can be so annoying that I would want to strangle him.

“You’re fucking smiling like a fuck eight year old boy” I said in a disgust tone and his smile even became broader.

“She has an eight year old brother too” he said and I immediately stood up from the table. I was done with his episode. I made my way to find Aurora in the school, she was usually seated with me in the cafeteria but maybe she had practice.

I made my way to the football court as I spotted her and some other girls practicing their new dance. She saw me almost immediately and came up to me.

“Look who’s here” she folded her hands under her breasts while staring at me with a slick smile on her face.

“Let’s fuck!” I said and I could immediately sense her happiness as her cheeks flushed. What a whore.

***********

I came out of the dressing room while Aurora was still wearing her clothes back. I was able to do it with her but then I had no feeling of pleasure while having it with her. Even though she was moaning all the time from enjoying it, I didn’t seem to be interested. It was like I was numb to the feeling of pleasure. I don’t know what was wrong with me, I was being worried about my life that I didn’t realize Devin was in front of me all the whole while.

“You’re lost” he said as he stood in front of me. I knew I was lost because why the fuck will I be so absent minded in the middle of the day.

“Look you’re my brother and I’ll just have to be honest with you, I thought I wasn’t going to love until I met my girlfriend” he said and placed his hand on my shoulder as he shifted my body to face him.

“Perhaps she’s the one for you and that’s why you’re being confused, think about your feelings and how you feel when she’s around, how she made you happy when she’s with you because that’s all that matters” his phone suddenly rang and I guessed it was his girlfriend.

“I have to answer this,” he said and tapped my shoulders before walking away.

I didn’t want to love neither did I want to be a boyfriend to someone, I never want to be committed but right now I’m not even able to come after all sort of sex with a woman. Damn do I need to sort out myself before it’s too late!

Aurora came out of the dressing room after what felt like forever that I had even forgotten she was there all these while. There was a broad smile on her face and I wondered what that could be about. Perhaps she overheard my conversation with Devin.

She wrapped her hands around my waist and hugged me really tight. I was getting grossed by it so I pulled her away but her grip was too strong as she brought my face to hers and kissed me.

I pulled away from the kiss to see Bella staring at us, she quickly diverted her eyes to something else immediately as she closed her locker and left. Shit!

“Get off me woman” I said and she took some steps backwards.

“Why do you act like you don’t care about me when you’re clearly in love with me, I get it Zach you’re having doubts but you don’t really need to feel that way, I’m perfect for you ” she said and I scoffed before I turned my back and left her standing there.

She called out my name a lot of times but I paid no attention to her, I knew she would let it get into her head but I’m pretty sure she of all people should know by now that she’s a whore that can’t be loved.

I thought about going back home but then Devin and I came with the same car so I can’t leave him stranded. I decided to spend the rest of my time in school and maybe think about what Devin told me.

The bastard didn’t attend any classes after the lunch break and when it was time to go home, I met him seated in the car comfortably, he was still on the goddamn call. I might be thinking of going into a relationship but then these long calls might just make me lose interest in it.

ISABELLA’S POV

I was feeling pale and nauseous all through school, so I took an excuse from the teacher to visit the nurse’s office. It took a while before she responded to me, she was busy attending to a girl who came to pop her pimples or whatever.

I sat down on the bench waiting for her as I ate almost all the gummy bears on the table.

“Reserve some for the juniors” she said as she approached me and I guessed the pimple girl was done with her session.

“Sorry” I said with a mouth full of gummy bears.

“It’s fine, so why are you here?” She asked.

“I don’t feel good, I’ve been feeling dizzy most times and my head just spins, sometimes I get shaky too” I replied and she examined me for a while before asking me questions about my period and the last time I had sex.

Realization of it being a pregnancy scared the shit out of me but then I was sure we used a condom or perhaps it fell?

“Isabella!” She called, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Last month, I had my period last month and I had sex last month too”I replied and she gave me a look I can’t explain before reaching for her desk and bring out a tube.

“I’ll need you to use this right now before I’ll know what else to do” she said and gave me the tube. I was not feeling okay not from the sickness but from the thought of having a baby with a monster. How would I cope? I haven’t even checked the results and thoughts were already running through my head.

I did the required test on the tube and she collected it from me, my heart was beating out of my chest before she suddenly smiled and showed me the results.

“Well you’re not pregnant so let’s see what’s wrong with you?” She said and I felt a relief in my chest.

“You used protection?” She asked and I nodded my head before she continued with what she was doing.

After some couple observations and everything she sat on the table that divided us as she turned to face me.

“I just think you need a little more time for yourself, you’re stressing yourself out and it’s affecting your body” she said with a smile. She gave me some random drugs and I left her office with gladness in my heart because I wasn’t pregnant.

I made my way to my locker and spotted Zach and Aurora making out in the hallway. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything but I definitely wasn’t feeling okay. I wanted my first time to be with someone who would know the worth of it and I was really stupid to think Zach was worthy enough.

He pulled out from their kiss as his eyes met mine, I immediately diverted my attention back to my locker as I placed the drugs in it before slamming it.

While walking to my next class my mind couldn’t help but wander, what if I was truly pregnant will the father of my child be that man whore who sleeps around with different girls and makes out with them in public. I felt anger and rage in me but at the same time felt sad and used.

I was having the same class with Maya today and she was quick to notice something was wrong with me. Although I didn’t want to talk about what happened to me in the class because Aurora was also in this class with us.

After school she held me by my hands as we walked to her car, on getting inside the car I completely broke down and hugged Maya really tight. I needed a hug from someone who knows my worth before I completely lose it.

“What happened?” She cooed as she stroked my hair with her hands.

“I know I said I wasn’t in love with him but it still hurts whenever I see him making out with other girls not even considering what we had together, he didn’t care to think it was my first time and I deserved better” I cried as Maya continued to pat me.

“He doesn’t even care!” I cried as she reached for the tissue in her car and handed it over to me. I wanted to tell her about my experience with the nurse but I didn’t have it in me to talk, besides it wasn’t really important.

“At least you have Xavier and he cares for you” she said and I nodded my head. That was true. I have Xavier as a good friend and he cares about my feelings.

Speaking of the devil, Xavier text beeped on my phone and I opened the phone to check the text.

“You didn’t seem okay in school today, I’m picking you up tomorrow” the text read.