The Wife ESCAPED!

She gave one last glance at Trisha’s figure retreating up the stairs before going back to the sofa. She stared at it, wondering whether sleeping on it would further anger her host.

“Ah!”, she gasped in shock as she felt a sudden jolt of electricity run through her ribs. But before she could say Jack, she was face-down on the sofa, squealing and squirming helplessly. “Please, ma. Stop Stop Stop! You’ll kill me! I’m dying!”

“What did I say about calling me ‘Ma’?”, Trisha returned, not letting up on her assault.

“Trisha! Trisha! Trisha! Trisha!”, Caro shouted as the torture went on.

Suddenly, Trisha stopped and stared down at her with both hands on her waist. Caro rolled unto her back and returned the stare, panting.

“That was Round One. Get ready for Round Two,” Trisha warned.

“Ah! What did I do again na?”

“The last part of the story, I wanna hear it. Or I’ll…”

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell you. Don’t tickle me again, please. Just let me sit properly.”

Trisha watched warily as the teenager slowly got herself into a sitting position. But as soon as the soles of her feet were planted on the ground, she darted off the sofa. But Trisha was ready for her: she clamped down on her right ankle and held on tight.

“Where do you think you’re going?”, she asked, putting the foot on the sofa and sitting on it.

“Aaah! My leg o! Ah, I swear I will not run again. I…”

“I’m sure you won’t. Start telling.”

“Ma… Trisha, please just let me sit down. I swear I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

“Okay then.” Trisha extracted the foot from under her bottom and held on to it.

Caro hopped on one leg until she could sit on the sofa.

“Ah! My leg.”

“I’m waiting.”

“Okay. Where did I stop?”

“Are you asking me? Or should I remind you in a very unique manner?”

“No, no, no, I can remember. Ehh… we shared the biscuits and the drinks and then after school, we went home.”

“Hope you’re not playing games with me?”

“No, no, I’m coming. So… the next day, we had forgotten about everything. It never crossed our minds that Mr. Ugbuefi would go to the Principal to apologize and inform him that he had carried out all the instructions in the letter.”

“Oh!”

“Yes. Nobody thought of it. So, during short break, one of our classmates went to the Principal’s office to get chalk because we had exhausted all the ones in our packet. The rest of us were busy talking and playing in the class. Then suddenly, this our friend ran back into the class and told us that we were all in hot soup; that Mr. Ugbuefi had just found out that the Principal did not write the letter, but before she could finish talking, somebody raised an alarm that Mr. Ugbuefi was coming. We thought it was a prank, but when we rushed to the window eh… hmm. Oboy come and see Mr. Ugbuefi with red eyes and a very long cane marching towards our class.”

“Oh my. So what did you guys do?”

“Ah. The windows were open na. We did not dull ourself o. Come and see diving. Everybody through the window, both boys and girls…”

“He didn’t catch anyone?”

“Wait, I’ll tell you who he caught. You know, there was this big bush behind our class… that’s where everybody faced. We thought the man would go back o…”

“He didn’t?!”, Trisha exclaimed.

“For where? Hm. Somebody that was half-mad. You know how much he spent on those drinks and biscuits? All those who were not good in sports, they became good that day. If you see running eh… Everybody was on his own o. Everybody faced his own direction. Then suddenly, we heard somebody shout. I thought it was one of our classmates, but when I turned back, I saw Mr. Ugbuefi just few yards behind me. Guess what? He was caught by a hunter’s trap.”

“Oh! So what did you do?”

“Eh? Do for wetin? I did not do anything o. I just jejely went back to my father’s house and told my mother that there was no school that day.”

“And she didn’t ask any questions?”

“Questions for where? What concern her? I just stayed at home and enjoyed myself.”

“Don’t tell me that’s the end of the story. What happened next? Did you guys quit school just like that?”

“No o. If only we could. They visited all our houses and reported us to our parents.”

Trisha whistled.

“Hmm. It was not easy o. Some of my classmates were beaten like maluu… cow.”

“Oh Lord. What about you?”

“Me? Ah. Before my father could think of looking for stick, I was already half-way to my grandmother’s place.”

Trisha burst into laughter.

“It was not funny o. I became a loyal servant to my grandmother by force.”

“So you didn’t return to your parents?”

“I did. That was after my grandmother begged them. But I was still beaten sha.”

“Oh dear. What about the school?”

“That one? They gave us punishment. Every morning before classes and every afternoon after school, we cleared the bush behind our class. It took us almost one month. But we did not mind sha. Mr. Ugbuefi was transferred to another class.”

“Aha! Mission completed at last.”

“But they dealt with him in that class o.”

“Really? How?”

“I still don’t know how they did it. They put a pregnant spider inside his pocket. The guy danced Makosa in the class by force.”

Trisha burst into laughter again.

“What kind of… devils were you in that school?”, she gasped between laughs.

“It was the teachers that brought out the Devil in us,” Caro shrugged.

“Oh Lord. You certainly did have more fun in one class than I ever did in my entire schooling career. Anyway, it’s very very late. Let’s go sleep for real this time,” Trisha sighed as she got up to her feet.

“Ma… Sorry! Trisha… can I sleep on the couch?”, Caro boldly asked.

“What! Are you kidding? Why would you want to sleep on the couch? What’s wrong with your room?”

“Eh? My room?”, Caro asked, perplexed.

“Didn’t Rennie show you to your room?”

“She took me to a bathroom…”

“Wasn’t that bathroom in a room?”

“Um… yes, but…”

“Then that’s your room! Or don’t you like it?”

“I… Ho… I like it… very much.”

“Then go and sleep there. Good night.”

Then she walked away. Caro took some seconds to allow the information sink in. Was that little palace going to be her room or was it just a dream? She was startled to reality by the sound of Trisha’s heavy footfalls on the stairs.

“Good night, ma. Thank you, ma.”

Trisha turned and eyed her angrily.

“Ah! Sorry. Trisha.”