the miserable life of a miserable teenager

I didn’t choose.

I didn’t start this.

I didn’t smoke this.

I didn’t want this.

Thought I had control until I took a step back.

All the decisions in my life have been made to erase or temporarily forget pain.

The pain they gave me.

It’s still never enough.

No matter how much I smoke,

there’s nothing left to feel.

My tolerance to the world is too high.

I can’t feel it anymore.

So please, don’t yell or sigh when you find me high, I didn’t do this.

I need this.

I

am

this.