CHAPTER 86
Jasmine’s POV
I can feel his fear.
His fear of confessing his love for me and also the fear of not confessing so he wouldn’t lose me.
It makes me want to feel glad that my feelings are being reciprocated though not vocally.
I have never been in a relationship before just like how he has never been in a serious relationship either.
We are both new to this but I am willing to do all it takes for it to work, including confessing my love for him over and over again.
But from what just happened, I realize Xavier isn’t ready to do what I want. What I feel right now is anger. Pure anger coursed through me for his show of jealousy when he hasn’t even admitted his feelings for me.
If it wasn’t Alex and it was just a casual friend of mine, is this how he would have embarrassed me publicly?
So much for causing a scene.
Ignoring the chuckle from Alex who is bleeding, I storm towards the exit, murmurs rising from others in the restaurant.
I didn’t slap Catherine when she introduced herself as his girlfriend but here he is slapping his brother just because he thinks I am out with another man.
Deep down, I know I wouldn’t have any problem with this behavior if only he could admit that he likes me as much as I like him. Now that I think of it, it makes me feel sad and doubtful about us.
What if he is mistaken about what he feels for me for love when it isn’t?
A loud doorstep follows behind and I know instantly that it is Xavier. I continue walking towards Ethan who is standing by the car, trying so hard to calm my nerves and not give him a piece of my mind which might result in creating another scene outside the restaurant.
Ethan opens the door immediately. Before I can get in, I catch sight of a familiar figure. I don’t enter the car as I stare at her walking gracefully towards our direction.
Andre Moore.
The lady Alex and I just finished talking about. My twin sister.
She looks up and our eyes meet. For a second, I think I see a flash of guilt but it is gone as soon as it appears.
Without a word, she walks past Xavier and me majestically like we don’t even exist. I watch her enter the restaurant, wondering why she is still cold even after knowing she is my sister.
Alex just told me everything. In fact, he was pleading about her behavior and I thought Andre would also apologize to me when she comes.
Alex didn’t tell me she was coming but I had a feeling she would come because he said he wanted me to meet someone. But then Xavier appeared and ruined it.
I doubt if Andre also knew we would be meeting here.
She is too arrogant for my liking and I doubt if we can ever get along. Knowing that we are twins doesn’t change anything. I don’t need to get on her good side if she is still going to act all cold and arrogant. I don’t even intend to accept being her twin or sharing parents with her if that is what she is scared of.
I am fine being alone. I have always been so lonely all my life.
“Get into the car”, Xavier’s soft voice reaches my ears, jerking me back to life.
With my anger rushing back, I turn to him. “You do not tell me what to do!”
With that said, I climb into the car angrily. I don’t know if it’s because of the sight of that silly girl coupled with Xavier’s implacable tone of authority.
I am just mad. Mad at everyone.
With a frustrated puff, he gets in beside me and Ethan kicks the car to life before zooming off.
I can’t help but wonder why Alex called me here to talk about Andre when she wasn’t even ready to accept me as her sister.
He was practically asking for forgiveness on her behalf and I told him she had been forgiven the moment I got to know she was my sister.
I didn’t need Mr. Moore or Mrs. Moore to tell me to my face that I was their daughter the same way Andre is.
The moment my Aunt told me the woman I have always known to be my mother wasn’t my biological mother, I knew it instantly.
That statement explained it all.
It explains why we are the replica of each other.
It explains why we have the same tattoo.
It explains why Xavier and everyone else mistook me for her.
Most importantly, it explains why I never had a father figure in my life.
There was no one I could ask because my mother died when I was still little. There wasn’t any picture of my father. It was just as if she gave birth to me alone without any father.
While growing up, I assumed he was also dead like she was. I never knew I had been living in deceit all along.
They all deceived me.
And my biological parents abandoned me.
I don’t know how I feel about that but the fact that none of them is showing up with some sort of explanation makes me want to hate them more.
I sigh deeply, rubbing a hand over my face in exhaustion.
“Are you ok?” The usual tone of concern from him demands.
Sharply, I respond. “Why do you care?”
He seems taken aback for a second before saying. “I didn’t know it was Alex.”
“Really? What were you thinking? That I was out with another man or what? What the hell is wrong with you? What exactly do you take me for? How did you even know I was here?”
Suddenly, I remembered I had come here with Felix. Out of anger, I forgot about him.
I turn back to see the car following.
“I’m sorry”, he apologizes grimly, even though he doesn’t look a bit sorry. I don’t know what issues he has with Alex and I don’t care but I won’t allow him to let his insecurities get in the way of my friendship with Alex or anyone else.
“No, you are not”, I mutter back firmly.
Silence falls but I am still boiling in rage. I am boiling at his lack of vocal expression. I am boiling in silence. I am boiling at his silliness.
He was jealous and he acted upon that jealousy to the point of not recognizing his brother.
“You don’t even love me, so why would you be bothered about me going out with some other man?” I blurt out suddenly and I see his eyes go wide in shock.
I didn’t mean to say that but I don’t regret it.
Yes. He hasn’t told me he loves me. Why is he bothered?
His gaze leaves mine and we both fall silent. The rest of the ride home is in silence. As soon as the car drives inside and parks in the garage, I throw the car door open and hurry to the front door, rage bubbling inside of me.
When I am inside, I rush towards the staircase. I don’t want to see him. Perhaps, this anger will subside if we don’t see each other together or share the same bed.
He is annoying.
Loud footsteps follow behind me and I know it is him.
I increase my path and rush towards the bedroom. I push the doorknob and enter but before I can close it back, something stucks it.
I turn around to see him sticking his leg inside to stop the door from closing. Despite having to rush after me, he is not breathless like I am.
I am totally out of breath.
We stare at each other in silence for a second before I move away from the door. Slouching to a sofa, I hold my head in between my palms, hoping I will be able to hold everything in.
The anger.
The tears.
It reminds me of how we met. This won’t be worth it if he can’t tell me how he feels for me.
I need assurance that this is not one-sided.
I know I told myself a few days ago that I was ready to wait. To wait for him to tell me but I can’t anymore.
How long do I have to wait for? What is stopping him from telling me how he feels? The only reason I can grab from his inability to confess his feelings is either because he is a coward or he doesn’t love me.
I need to know which it is.
The tension in the room is the same as always. He isn’t saying anything and it’s killing me.
I shoot to my feet and rush after him. I intend to hit his chest and force him to spill the beans. What happened next will be the determinant of my next action.
If he is a coward, then I should probably give him more time but if he isn’t and he doesn’t love me, then I should leave.
There is absolutely nothing here to stay for.
Before I can hit his chest, he grabs my hand. I struggle with him but he is stronger, his gaze dark reminding me of how he looked that night in Chicago.
The first day we met.
When I admired him from afar even though I was curious about who he was and why he looked so dangerous.
When he rescued me from that drunk man. And when he took me away.
“Let go of me”, I demand loudly, staring at each other with anger.
He lets go and I turn around, feeling frustrated. I am trying so hard to hold back my tears. I don’t want to look vulnerable.
From behind, I feel a touch. He wraps his two hands around me and snuggles into the crooks of my neck region.
His breath fans my face and I close them expecting him to say something. Instead of saying anything, he pecks my left cheek making me flutter my eyes open slowly.
My anger is dissipating slowly but my desire to hear those words is still intact.
Say something, Xavier
“I…I…” he stutters, shocking the living hell out of me.
Xavier is stuttering? What does he want to say?
“I’m sorry”, he murmurs, not letting go of me.
Sorry again. What the hell?
“You know so well what I feel. I don’t need to say the word before you know it”, the voice comes finally which makes me face him squarely as I shake my head.
“No.”
His face is expressionless and I don’t know what to make of it. “You know I want you, don’t you?”
“Want?” I scoff loudly. “That’s not it. Want is not enough, Xavier. You expect me to stay loyal to you when you can’t even tell me how you feel?”
Silence falls except for my heavy breathing.
Now it feels like I am begging to be loved. I need space from this jerk. I can’t be in the same room with him.
With a nod, I walk past him to the door. I touch the doorknob and pull the door open when his voice stops me.
“I love you, Jasmine Cooper. I have always loved you from the very day we got married at the registry. That was the day I finally got to know you were not her but my ego wouldn’t let me accept the truth. I’m sorry.”
My heart pounds harder as a tear falls from my eyes.
“I love you, Jasmine. I do.”
Without thinking much about what he just said and majorly concerned about the love word, I leave the door and run back into his arms.
He doesn’t embrace me. He takes a step backward instead and grabs my face before slamming his lips into mine in a fiery kiss.