The Impact of You

Chapter 19

Avery

When Jase practically shoves me into the guest room, I’m confused. And hurt. I thought we were really getting somewhere, and after last night’s make out session, I’d been looking forward to a repeat of that. Apparently Jase isn’t. Which sucks. But I scrub my face, brush my teeth, and try not to pout as I crawl into bed.

In the morning, things are quiet over breakfast again, and Jase doesn’t dally – we’re soon saying goodbye to his mom and in the car for the journey back.

The closer we get toward campus, the more my panic sets in. Madison had been beyond pissed that I was going home with Jase, not believing for a second that his motives were virtuous with me, and now Jase, the guy I’m risking everything for, is barely speaking to me.

When he parks in front of my dorm, we exit the car and I wait while Jase retrieves my bag.

“I don’t know what I did wrong…but I don’t want things to be weird between us now,” I say.

His eyebrows draw together. “You did nothing wrong. I thought maybe I’d rushed you the other night, so I wanted to make sure you knew that wasn’t all I wanted.”

Oh. I shake my head. “Well, you got quiet on me… so I figured you were mad about something.”

His finger presses over my lips. “Stop thinking so much. I’m not mad. I’m giving you time to sort out whatever you need to sort out. Just don’t shut me out, okay?”

I nod. “Thanks for this weekend.”

“Thanks for being so sweet to my mom,” he says. He leans down to plant a tender kiss against my forehead, then turns back for his car.

I was right about Madison’s mood. She sends me suspicious looks and cryptic comments all afternoon while I try to study. I’m relieved when Noah shows up for our regular Sunday night dinner in the cafeteria.

I load my plate with mystery casserole, not able to focus on anything but Madison’s suspicions. Am I being stupid to think there’s something between me and Jase? When I slide into my seat, Noah has clearly been briefed on my weekend getaway, because he too is scowling at me.

I set my tray on the table, but remain standing in front of them. “What? Will you two just spit it out?”

Noah places his hand on Madison’s, telling her he’s got this. “We just think you need to be careful. Jase could be playing some kind of game with you. And you’re bound to fall for him, spending so much alone time with him.”

Maybe I should take their intervention as concern, but for some reason, it just annoys me. “Is it so impossible that Jase really likes me? How many other girls has he brought home for the weekend to meet his mom? Did you ever think maybe this is something different between us?”

Noah holds up his hands in surrender. “Alright. We love you. We support you. As long as you’ve thought it through.”

Madison smiles weakly and I can tell they’re mentally deciding to pick up the pieces when I get dumped.

“Fine.” I slide into the seat and stab at the food on my plate. Do they know something I don’t? Is this all going to blow up in my face like they think?

By Tuesday afternoon, I’m looking forward to human sexuality class if only to see Jase. Professor Gibbs’ lecture is about self-love, i.e., masturbation – a topic I’m decidedly uncomfortable with. Sure, I’ve tried it, but I don’t get the hoopla. He discusses the importance of communication with your partner

and part of that effective communication is first understanding your body and its needs. I am so damn uncomfortable during the entire lecture that by the time class is over, I escape out the doors, Jase’s deep chuckle making the hairs on the back of my neck rise as he follows me.

I slip into our regular booth while Jase orders the coffee. I get my blushing under control by the time he returns, delivering a cup of coffee to me with a smirk.

He sits down across from me, his eyes playfully dancing on mine. I brace myself for the embarrassing comment he’s sure to make from the lecture. Only he doesn’t. His eyes grow serious and he leans in toward me, his unique scent of cologne and fabric softener greeting me. “You sure you’re okay with what happened between us last weekend?”

I swallow. “Why wouldn’t I be?” I want to appear, cool, effortlessly sexy, and easy going. Too bad I’m a bundle of nerves, gripping the table in front of me for support, ready to melt into a puddle on the floor with the way Jase is looking at me.

His voice drops an octave lower. “Because I’m willing to lend my services…to extend your assignments into a gray area I’ve nicknamed Operation Avery’s First Orgasm.”

Eek! I was hoping he’d forgotten that comment I’d made at the coffee shop, but clearly he hasn’t. I clamp my thighs together and remind myself to breathe. There are no words for the tingles Jase can send through my body with only his deep, sexy voice. That certainly never happened with my high school boyfriend, Brent.

“Whistle? You okay?” He takes my hand and absently traces his thumb across my palm. “Breathe for me, okay.”

I pull in a ragged breath, still unable to speak.

His cocky smile is back. “Just think about it, babe.”

I manage a nod.

Jase takes a sip from his coffee, his eyes still watching mine over the brim of the cup. “There’s something I don’t understand,” he says, running a hand through his messy hair. “You said you had a high school boyfriend, and you guys were pretty serious…”

Oh God, I can’t have him asking questions about Brent. “Uh huh.”

“And yet, you’ve never…” He raises his eyebrows. “So I take it you guys never messed around?”

I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. I can’t believe Jase wants to talk about my past…love life, or lack thereof. This is crazy. I feel like I’m floating above us, watching, preparing to witness my demise. “We experimented a little, but never had sex.”

He frowns. “And no orgasms for you?”

“Why are you so obsessed with my non-orgasmic status? Some girls just don’t have them, okay?”

“Um, no. That is most definitely not okay with me.”

I roll my eyes. “Madison said I probably would have if he… never mind.” I need a muzzle. Seriously, I should be shot. The things he’ll get me to admit to….

Jase pins me with an icy glare. “If he what?”

“Used his mouth,” I squeak out. It wasn’t actually how she’d put it, but I wouldn’t use those rude words to describe it.

“And he wouldn’t?” Jase’s eyes widen.

I shake my head. “He said he didn’t do that.”

Jase throws his head back in disgust, groaning as his eyes roll back in his head. “Any guy who has a policy against that is a fucking idiot.”

The nervous waves crashing inside me erupt into an all-out frenzy with this information. Jase’s opinion on oral sex shouldn’t ignite my sex-drive, make my skin tingle, or heat my lady parts, yet that’s exactly what happens.

His expression grows dark, more serious as he leans in closer. “Baby, if you let me, I wouldn’t come up for a week.”

Holy. Crap.