Thirty Two
Why did he drive her out of his house then? Why did he make her leave if he did not have someone else just waiting on the side lines? What about the poor girl and her son? Would she have to be in torment with that bastard for the rest of her life? Questions upon questions ran through her mind. Astra could not help it. She should not have followed him to the coffee shop. She should have just stayed home and cried.
“I have to get going,” Astra said, standing up from the chair. Thompson stood up with her.
“Wait, Astra,” Thompson said, putting his hand on her arm for the second time. Astra raised an eyebrow at him. She was not in the mood.
“I just want you to promise me that you will not be in the wrong side. I am gathering evidence. That bastard should be in jail,” Thompson said and Astra smiled weakly.
“I do not wait anything to do with that man ever again,” she said and she meant it this time.
“Thank you,” Thompson said. He sounded sincere and Astra nodded her head. She made her way to her apartment and Thompson went to the opposite direction. Little did she know that he was going to meet the man, his accomplice, set to ruin her life and that of everyone around her.
Astra walked back to her apartment with shaky legs and collapsed on her bed, the tears came like a dam that erupted. Hard and loud. Astra usually just let tears run down her eyes, but this time, she truly cried.
The tears came with her wails until she couldn’t help herself, regrets upon regrets bombarded her. She did not even know why went into marriage with Nicholas in the first place. It was too quick, too fast, everyone said. But Astra did not listen, she was in love and everyone else did not understand what being in love meant. In hindsight, she realized she was being immature, but what has happened already happened.
Astra vowed to move on then, to live life to the fullest even though Nicholas already ruined that for her. After sadness came anger. She was angry at herself for naivete and vulnerability. She was angry at her parents for pushing her in the direction of rich young man. She was angry at fate for making her fall in love. She was angry at society for calling them a good couple. Astra was angry at Nicholas for coming into her life only to ruin it.
She didn’t need him, she would live without him, excel without him. She would fall in love again and live happily ever after, everything would be fine. She did not need him and his self-righteous ass. She did not need anything to do with him. She would move on and be happy.
Astra opened a glass of wine to forget the pain that was already settled in her heart. A pain that it seemed had come to stay. Sometimes she imagined Nicholas had taken a chunk of her heart as it seemed like she could not do without him. She could not live without him.
Astra opened her phone and called Nicholas. She wanted to talk to him, he was a fucking bastard. Her thoughts were slurring now. She was drunk on the wine.
“Hello,” she said. Her thoughts were all over the bastard.
“You bastard! You are a fucking bastard! You are a coward and a bastard. I bet you cannot face me, because you think you have ruined me. It’s a lie. I am bigger than that. I know all you did. Thompson told me. You are a bastard and a coward,” Astra said.
“Astra. What is wrong? I am on my way,” the person said, Astra was not listening anymore. She just wanted to hit Nicholas.
“Bastard! Fucking Bastard,” she slurred more as she hit her bed multiple times.
Astra heard her door open after a while and she stood up. At least she tried to stand up and fell back down.
“Don’t worry Astra you will be okay,” the person said. Astra opened her eyes but everything was blurry.
“Nicholas? Is that Nicholas?” She asked as she stood up straight. She placed her hands over the male face in front of her and looked some more.
It was Nicholas.
“You are a fucking bastard, Nicholas. But I love you,” Astra said and placed her lips on his.
Astra’s head banged and she struggled to open her eyes. The pain and discomfort of a hangover had almost become a norm to her, she was almost used to it. Astra tried to stand up as she had the familiar feeling of warmth around her. It was Nicholas, she was sure of it. The embarrassing moments from the previous day began to come to her slowly. Astra cringed internally. She could not believe she actually invited the bastard to her house and she even told him that she loved him.
With a strong push, she moved Nicholas’ hand from her body and even managed to move him off the bed. He sounded on the ground with a resounding twat.
A very unNicholas sounding ooff came from the body that was on the floor. Astra stilled, she had no idea what was happening. She was pretty sure it was Nicholas she called. And it was Nicholas that would definitely stay, but it was not Nicholas’ voice she was hearing.
“Ouch. What the hell Astra?” A voice that sounded too much like Jared’s said. Astra just covered her face with her hands and groaned. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Astra repeated as she hit her head. She could barely register when Jared stood up and put his arm around her.
At the foreign touch, Astra immediately shifted from his arms, and to the other side of the bed. Astra still buried her face in her hands as she heard him move further away.
“Just leave me alone,” she said. She could die out of embarrassment. Questions like how, why, what the fuck, flew threw her mind. Astra wondered why she called him in the first place, she wondered what she told him. Astra closed her eyes even more as she remembered the kiss. She probably told Jared that she loved him. Or even worse, she told Jared that she loved Nicholas. For fuck’s sake!
“Astra calm down. It’s me,” Jared said. I have already figured that out, genius, she replied in her head. It would have been easier to deal with Nicholas. A few insults here and there, swearing that she did not love him, and he would be gone. Besides, if it was Nicholas, he would be drunk too. That would have been easier to deal with.
“I know last night must have been embarrassing for you but we have to talk about it,” he said. It was clear that Jared was not reading the signs that said he should leave. Astra did not want to talk about anything. She was still trying to process the fact that Jared had slept in her bed and she had cuddled with him till morning. She was still trying to process that she had kissed Jared.
“I don’t know what Nicholas did this time, but he is a bastard for putting you in this mess again, making you feel down. I don’t want you to think about him too much. He doesn’t deserve you, Astra. Even though you love him,” Jared said and Astra bent even more. She wanted to die. She had told Jared she loved Nicholas. Why was her mouth so reckless? What did her mouth not have sense? The only thing she agreed with was the first part of his sentence. Nicholas was a bastard for putting her into this mess. She needed to call him and cuss him out. Right after she got Jared to leave.