billion book
Chapter 65: I Was The Problem
To Love You Again, My Husband
Chapter 65: I Was The Problem After the dinner, the two sat beside each other while watching the news which contain the returning of Jackson to the country. Airina sighed before changing the channel to the current series of the country, bringing Jackson to tilt his head while petting Gly who snuggled in his arms.
“You really don’t know I came back?”
Airina hugged her knees, “I am busy to keep up with what occurs every day. How could I know you were returning?”
Jackson said in a suggestive way, “If I had informed you through a call, would you have treated me to a meal?”
Airina fixed her gaze on him. She was thinking how much of boldness he got overseas that he wasn’t even hesitant of broaching these small ideas to her? She couldn’t understand. Didn’t he like Nicole before so how come his feelings changed so fast right after seeing her again?
“I wouldn’t treat you to a meal.” She simply replied although hesitantly, but it wasn’t that noticeable. “Didn’t you have feelings for Nicole? How fast did your feelings change?”
Jackson frowned. “Can we not talk about this? I feel uncomfortable.”
Airina shook her head, “If you can’t answer how am I able to remove the skepticism of you pursuing me?”
“… Then will you accept me wholly afterward?” He expectantly asked, his eyes glistening with happiness.
Airina pushed his face from her with a groan. She then snatched Gly from his arms, resulting it to wake from her deep slumber and stretching her paws long as to her chest and purring when she stroked her head. Jackson sighed; this topic isn’t that serious, but it could bring his efforts into vain.
Of course, it’s not like he can do something, and it was not possible to always dodge this question. Eventually, there will come a day and today seemed to be the perfect time for that.
“… I hated myself for not trying to get to know you,” he begun remorsefully, “I didn’t know a thing about you so when I heard your parents’ favor to marry you, I loathed you. They told me that you eagerly wanted to marry me, but it never crossed my mind that you had feelings for me.
That wrong thought grew my anxiousness that you were trying to scheme behind my back so I didn’t even dare to share a meal with you, I did but I didn’t get to scoop a rice and taste your cooking abilities,” he clenched his fists, resuming with difficulty, “Thus when I heard from Nicole that you indeed have other plans – either to ruin me or the business I am running, I became more attached to the idea that you were indeed a vile person.
I didn’t think of the possibility that Nicole was wrong. She then suggested that we sleep together so we did… but I never touched her. My hands wanted to, but I couldn’t afford, if I must be honest.”
Airina averted her fixation from him and pursed her lips. She didn’t think that knowing the truth could hurt so awful and dreadful. Her ex-husband didn’t put effort into knowing her, and if that wasn’t enough, he even trusted others rather than her. He had always loathed her. But she was just there as his wife doing her best to be liked and eventually share the happiness with him, too.
Jackson gritted his jaws, “… I didn’t want to tell you because I am guilty but of course it’s your right to know. You can hate me, too.”
“You are such a bad man.” She couldn’t help but blurt out.
“… I am.” While he couldn’t restrain from admitting that what he did was worthy of a Grammy Award.
They spontaneously sighed while Gly left Airina’s lap and stretched her paws on the ground before licking it.
Jackson confessed, “I didn’t have feelings for Nicole. What I had was frustration and anger which was both directed to you,” he then linked his hands as he rested he leaned his forehead on his kneed. He regrettably sighed, “That is why I am doing my best to know you and prove myself that I was wrong which was awfully right. It was not you; it was me. I was the problem.”
“What about now?”
“Now?,” he gave her a passing look, “If you ask me my feelings about Nicole now… I feel nothing. What she wanted from me was simply wealth, power, and a strong backer for her family. If I look at it in her position, it was an action done impulsively out of the desire to help her family. Perhaps her feelings for me were nothing but a façade, hah.”
Airina furrowed her brows.
“Didn’t you say you like me? Your words are conflicting me.”
Jackson smiled when he heard that, “I like you so much I feel like I am undeserving of you. So, I kept telling myself I was almighty to be able to face you. When in fact, I was nervous and trembling – guilty and regretting what I did to you back then.”