The Alpha

Chapter 19: 18- Clock

My chest felt like twenty-pound weights were laying there. My head was pounding from the constant

crying and my eyes were burning. I felt the desire, the need to find my release, but I had no tools and

my nails weren’t very dangerous.

'Clock.'

'Break the clock and cut.'

( ‘Violet, no.’ )

'Break.'

'The.'

'Clock.'

'Cut.'

My mark burned when I rolled over and grabbed the clock, throwing it on the ground. It thudded and

made a cracking sound so I reached and threw it down again. Agonizing seconds passed by while I

waited for the clock to smash.

Once it did, I pulled up off the bed, not able to be seen from the door, crouching down to find the

sharpest piece before slumping down.

( ‘Violet, don’t do this. Stop. Derek told you-’ )

'Ugh, shut the fuck up!'

'Let’s go!'

'Cut!'

I blocked out Sage, let out a shaky break, undid the previous bandages, and began to slide it across

my wrist. My mark pricked in pain and I sped up the cutting, altering between my wrists.

I’ll be perfect.

Like the girls he wants.

'You’re the definition of imperfect.'

'He wants blondes, not you.'

I heard footsteps banging down the hallway, a sob escaped my lips as I knew what was about to

happen, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wasn’t in my headspace, I couldn’t control this.

Blood coated my forearms, dripping on the sweater and jeans. The sound of the door flying open didn’t

break my concentration.

I dug the makeshift dagger in my skin, but I could feel it getting dull.

“Violet!” a voice yelled.

I continued to cut.

Brown shoes stood in front of my black ones. My hands were pried from each other with a hard grip.

My head spun as I felt him grab under my arms and hauled me into the bathroom.

“N-no,” I whispered weakly and he shushed me.

My head started to get fuzzy as he set me on the sink counter, running water, grabbing a towel, and

applied pressure to my wrists to fix them. My wrists were numb and sizzling.

He stood between my legs and I whimpered as my headache increased. I put my head in Derek’s

shoulder, my tears wetting his shirt. He opened the cabinet with his foot, pulling it up to the counter,

barely moving me.

He pulled out his phone and barked some orders then he set me against the bare wall where the mirror

would’ve been, and stepped out of the room. My eyesight was blurry and my wrists lazily laid at my

sides, the towels sitting over them.

He came back in with a short-sleeved nightshirt and some pants.

“Do you sleep with a bra?” he asked in his crisp tone. I shook my head ‘no’ and he pulled me to him.

“Violet, listen. I’m not going to look, but I’m taking off your bra and I’m gonna dress you in this shirt,” he

spoke steadily, making sure I understood him.

I hazily nodded and he put my arms on each of his shoulders before unclasping my bra, sliding it off my

arms. He soon strung the shirt around my head and carefully pulled it down my freshly wounded arms.

He then proceeded to put on pants.

He heard the door and told them to come in. Doctor Reseda soon stopped into the bathroom and

began wrapping my new cicatrices. She spoke to Derek about my blood loss, and the damage I caused

and then left.

Derek turned back to me and growled deeply.

“How many fucking times?” he said in a dangerously low tone. I gulped and looked down. He walked

over to me before yanking my face towards his blue flames. “Violet.” he growled, glaring at me, “why?”

Something snapped in my hazy state. Why? It was him! He made the voices do this!

“W-why?” I croaked, bringing my eyes up to him. “You!” I raised my voice, slightly shocked at myself.

His grip tightened, and an emotion flashed in his eyes before neutralizing them again. “You don’t raise

your voice at your Alpha!” he shouted at me, I flinched down. “Understand me?” I whimpered. “Words,

weakling, words.”

A sob left my lips, “Yes, A...Alpha.” he growled once more before picking me up and carrying me to the

bed.

He laid me on it and walked out of the door, leaving it open. I groaned before turning the other way to

go to sleep.

I heard footsteps come back in, along with the door closing. I didn’t bother turning over, that was until I

felt the bed dip. I swiveled my head and saw Derek in a new shirt and sweatpants.

He rolled his eyes at me and told me to turn back around and hesitantly I did. He laid down and pulled

me to him, his arm resting on my waist.

...What is he doing?...

( ‘Relax Violet. He’s our mate, he’s allowed to sleep with us.’ )

...No...

He didn’t like me, he’s made it quite evident, perhaps he felt guilty? I didn’t want a pity party, but my

wolf wasn’t letting me move, so instead, I laid there.

Subconsciously, my hands started to trace patterns on his arm that laid on my waist.

“Stop,” he grunted out.

I halted my movements and closed my eyes trying to find the sleep that he was insinuating, but yet my

mind was amuck from the events that happened mere minutes ago.

“Violet. Stop,” he snapped as he grabbed my hand. I didn't realize I had started the tracing again, but

he wasn’t pleased, “go to bed.” He grumbled, crushing my hands in his grip.

He pulled me closer into his chest and moved until he was comfortable. He was still pressing my hand

against my stomach, right onto my newly developing bruise, and he didn’t seem to be letting go

anytime soon. I tried to yank them out of his grip, but he just growled.

“Flower,” he groggily mumbled, “stop.”

“I-it hurts…” I whispered.

He sighed and let go of my hand, getting comfortable again. “Just go to sleep, flower.” there was almost

a desperate tone in his plea, but I couldn’t, I was wide awake. My mind was buzzing.

“Violet,” he spoke, his voice gruff, it made my heart speed up.

“Y-yeah?” I whispered and he sighed out before he pulled his arm away from my waist and sat up. I

looked up at him before quickly looking away.

...I didn’t want him to leave...

“Violet, are you tired?” I opened my mouth to answer him, but I stopped, slightly fearing what he would

do based on my answer. He frowned down at me, “answer, Flower. It’s okay if you aren’t.” He

reassured and I nodded my head, agreeing with him.

“You’re not tired?” I nodded again. “Do you want to go for a walk? Come on,” he slowly reached down,

helping me up.

“Go put on some shoes, if you need any help, I’ll be out here,” he cautiously let go off my arm and I did

as he said.

Derek lightly grabbed my hand, careful not to grab my freshly wrapped wounds, because I just told

them they hurt. That wasn’t a lie, it didn’t hurt while I was doing it, it was a relief to me. But after that

high, it did sting for a few hours.

We walked downstairs and out the front door, I subconsciously leaned into him, my fear of the dark

crawling up my back.

“You’re okay, Flower,” Derek whispered to me, lowly and I was surprised I picked it up.

It was a quiet walk, just the sound of the grass under our shoes and the insects doing whatever it is

they do. I was growing drowsy from the walking and from Derek’s body heat and scent. That and the

loss of blood.

“A-alpha?” I mumbled, glancing up at him.

“Derek,” he corrected.

“R-right, I’m s-sorry,” I shook my head, feeling bad and my cheeks were heating up. “C-can we head

back, p-please?” I shyly asked.

“Of course, Flower,” he gave a light squeeze to my hand and we turned around.

“Violet,” he started and I glanced up at him before looking back down. Have you ever slept with

someone?”

My heart flew out of my chest, my walking faltered. My chest felt heavy as I looked up at him with wide

eyes. “Like s-sex?”

“Um, no…” he drew out, “I should’ve worded it differently. Did you ever willingly sleep with someone?”

“Um, no, not s-sexually,” I answered truthfully, my cheeks got red, embarrassed.

“And what about just sleeping? Not sexually, like spending the night with someone, sleeping. Same

thing?”

“Y-yeah,” I whispered. I never had a choice. “Usually, A-alpha didn’t s-sleep with me a-after, when he

did, um- I didn’t want him to,” I quickly rushed out, I didn’t want him to get the wrong impression. “B-but,

he’s a lot bigger and heavier than m-me, s-so there wasn’t much I could do,” I mumbled.

My eyes were heavy, blinking felt amazing. I didn’t realize I was slowing down, but Derek did.

“Flower, come here,” he whispered and bent down, scooping me up. A small sound of protest left my

lips because I felt bad. “Shh, I got you. Sleep, Flower. You’re safe with me, I promise.”

“I’m s-sorry,” I let my head rest against his shoulder, my body relaxed into his.

“Shh, we’ll take about it tomorrow.” I silently nodded, my eyes closing, my conscious slipping.

“D-Derek?”

“Flower?”

“I-I don’t like i-it when you y-yell at me,” I murmured. Normally, I’m not certain I would ever tell him

something like that, but I was tired and Sage would take advantage of that.

“I’m sorry, Flower. Go to bed, honey. I’ll be with you in the morning.” he spoke softly, walking inside his

house, up to the room. He lightly laid me on the bed and got in beside me, spooning me to sleep.

“Flower,” a voice whispered in my ear. I shuddered and kept my eyes closed, hugging the hard pillow in

my arms. “Flower, wake up.” the voice rang again and I whimpered.

My body was slightly shaken and slowly I cracked my eyes open to see Derek. I was hugging his body

while he was shaking my once sleeping form.

I blinked my burning eyes and saw his blue orbs staring down at me.

“You were crying.”

My face got red and I looked down, bringing up a hand to wipe my wet cheeks. I mumbled my apology

for distributing his sleep and felt him pull away from me and out of my grip.

His next move surprised me deeply, he crawled over my body, pinning me down. My breath caught in

my throat as I looked at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape.

...What was he doing?...

His eyes pierced mine and he grabbed my wrist pinning them above my head with one hand, the other

grabbing my jaw, I was surprised it wasn’t bruising yet, but this grip was soft. He didn’t want to hurt me.

He leaned in threateningly and whispered to me his breath fanning against my lips.

“Violet. I ever find you cutting yourself again, I will strap you down in my darkest cellar,” his lethal voice

rang, “or maybe, I’ll let you pay a visit to see your buddy Chris,” my chest constricted at his words.

He wouldn’t, would he? This is the same guy who killed his Father and Beta, he would.

“I’ll show what it means to self-harm. You can face him and show him your wrist that you so

desperately try to hide. See what he does to you,” his voice seemed scornful, but he continued his

torture on my mental state. “You’ve been a bad girl,” he growled as he dipped his head in my neck.

'You’ve been a bad girl.'

'Bad Girl.'

My body bucked against his and I started to tug my wrist out of his hold, sobs alarmingly leaving my

lips. The more I yanked my wrist, the more pain painted them.

“G-get off…” I blubbered.

He pulled up alarmed at my instant mood change, straddling my lap.

“Vio-”

“G...get o-off of me! You- you...” I yelled at him, my voice cracking as I wiggled underneath his legs,

hitting his hands with mine.

“Viol...oh…” he mumbled. “Violet,” his voice had calmed down from his former vicious tone to his usual

cold tone.

“I-I’m so s-sorry. I- I didn’t mean it, I’ll be g-good. I-I promise…” I could help but stammer. I wasn’t a bad

girl, I am a good girl. I shouldn’t have cussed at him, he’ll just hit me harder.

...I’m a good girl...

Derek cursed, “Violet, calm down. You’re a good girl, it’s fine- I didn’t mean it like that,”

“No, p...please…” I whispered and he got off of my hips, pulling me to him.

“Flower...shh. It’s okay, I didn’t mean it like that,” he told me, rubbing my arms delicately.

“I’m a g-good girl” I hiccuped in his arms.

“Yes, my Flower. Yes, you are,” he whispered, slowly bringing us down and laying with me crying in his

arms.

Once I calmed down, I pulled away from him, but he settled me before I could get far.

“Violet, I don’t want you cutting yourself.”

I sniffled, “a-are you g-going to s-send me to Alpha C-Chris?” I feared his answer, shaking at the

thought of it.

“No, my Flower, I’m not going to ever let him touch you,” his voice stern, “and you don’t call him Alpha,

he’s not you Alpha.”

“Okay, I’m s-sorry… I’m sorry.”

He sighed but nodded.

“Violet, there is something I have to tell you,” I frowned waiting for what he had to say, fearing the

worst. “There will most likely be a trial held against Chris for what he’s done, but we don’t necessarily

have evidence. Now, what I’m saying is, you will have to…” he paused looking for the right words,

“have to give a… testimony against him and tell the King what he’s done to you. Understand?”

My chest tightened and I nodded at him looking down at my hands.

“Violet, it won’t be that bad. One of the biggest pieces of evidence we have would be the scars you

have,” a frown formed on my face, “and you would basically just have to show the King and his

council.”

He made it sound so easy, I didn’t want to displease him so I shook my head at him.

“But Alp… C-Chris a-always said I was his mate. So, could he say you took me from him, and I would

go b-back?” I asked, eyes wide.

He shook his head at me and then pointed to my mark. “That is another piece of evidence. If he was,

then when I marked you, your wolf would’ve rejected it. Trust me Flower, he’s not your mate.” his eyes

darkened when he spoke.

So that’s why he marked me. I couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt at his words, but I wanted to know.

“Okay…”

He nodded before letting go of me and getting off the bed. I looked at the clock to check the time only

to see it wasn’t there.

'You broke it, worthless bitch.'

“It’s about five. I’ll call Garret over, you can meet him. He’s my Gamma, I have to go finish some work,

and Mallory is busy.” I nodded and he nodded back before fishing out his phone from his sweatpants

pocket.

He spoke into it and I got up, walking to the closet and then the bathroom, dressing in covering clothing

before walking back out to him. He just ended the call, told me he’d be here shortly, and then left to go

do his work.

Soon enough, there was a rapping at my door and I opened it to be greeted by an ebony-skinned, tall,

well-built man. He gave me a warm smile before holding out his hand for me to shake.

“Hello. I’m Garett. I’ve heard much about you.” he spoke, a welcoming, soft voice.

I hesitantly put my hand in his, and his smile grew wider.

“I-I’m Violet…” I told him in a small voice.

“Nice to meet you.” he released his hand, “would you like to go downstairs? Watch a movie?” he asked

me.

I nodded and walked with him downstairs.

“Jeet?” he asks, to which I shake my head ‘no’ to. “Okay, I’m sure his cooks know it’s about that time,

wanna watch a movie, show? Play a game?” he asks.

“W-whatever you l-like…” I mumbled looking at my hands.

“Okay, that's cool.”

He took me out into the living room and we watched a show, we were talking about ourselves and he

was very good company to be around, and somehow it seemed my willingness to talk to him came

naturally. After some time, a cook came in and told us dinner was done.

We went out and ate chicken and rice, I didn't eat that much. Then Garret had to excuse himself, but

not without telling me Mallory was on his way to keep me company.

“Very nice to meet you, Violet.” he smiled, “I hope I can see you again!” I smiled back and he left.

Mallory came in shortly after, greeting me, then walking out into the living room to watch movies with

me. We finished one movie and we’re halfway into the second one when I got thirsty. I excused myself

to go get a water bottle.

On my way back to the second kitchen, I turned the corner only to bump into someone.

“Ope!” I gasped as I backed up and apologized.

“Ew, don’t fucking touch me, you skeleton!” I looked up to see it was the blonde. Why was she-

Oh.

...Oh...

'Ha!'

My chest constricted and I simply put my head down to her, apologizing before silently grabbing a

water bottle and walking back to the room to Mallory.

He picked up on my somber mood and offered his lightning words. It didn’t work, especially when my

abdomen started to twitch in discomfort and my mark began to burn.

I tried to hold in the tears, but they came down my cheeks nonetheless. Mallory ended up turning off

the television and taking me upstairs to go to bed, keeping a hold on my upper arm even though I didn’t

need his help to walk.

I took a sleeping pill and went under, pain wrapping around my body due to the infidelity happening in

the other room.