Surrender Your Sensations

“Let’s not meet again after this. Have sex with me, take my virginity, and then let’s forget about tonight. We can move on in each other’s life tomorrow,” I negotiated with so much certainty.

I was too defective to allow other people to love or even care for me. I always avoided the attachment so I can save the people around me from being hurt big time. Let us just say I was a burning flame and any moth who would attempt to come close would surely burn.

This was also my way of living this life with lesser pain. I mean, the less people I love, the easier it is for me to get by. Maybe when the time comes that death comes to me, it would be easier to leave. I saw it to my mother already- I know what to do if my prosopagnosia or cancer fuck me up.

Aside from Bailey and my parents, I never valued anyone.

So, starting something like a flirtatious one-night-stand with this rockstar would not fire back at me, right? I mean, I don’t want anything to happen to the two of us again after tonight. We are going to have sex now so the libido we feel for each other would be liberated. Then tomorrow we can freely disappear from each other’s life.

Instead of responding to what I said, he just pulled me into his condo unit, locked the door, and then pushed my body against the recently closed door. My back was flat against the wooden door.

He put both hands on my sides, completely trapping me against the door. There was a generous distance between our faces, making it hard for me to discern his facial expression.

“Don’t you really remember me?” he asked, his head turning to the side.

I frowned at his question. He said earlier that we had met and I did not rule out that possibility. Because of my prosopagnosia, there were a lot of people I met that I never really remembered since their faces were not retained in my fucked up brain.

“Nope. Where did we meet?” I asked casually before wrapping my arms around his waist.

He was stunned by what I did for a few seconds before he disentangled my arms around his waist. He then stepped back from me. I immediately left leaning against the door and went straight to my feet.

“You said you liked my voice but you didn’t like my perfume,” he muttered before nodding at me, “I’m still using the same perfume, just so you know.”

My forehead turned to a frown before crossing my arms over my chest. “I said that earlier at the bar,” pertaining to what he just said, “That’s what I remembered. I don’t think we see each other before, Mr. Rockstar.”

I struggled to remember what he was insisting. He said we already met even before now? Where? When?

“So, you are saying to me now that I said the same thing even before we met, flirted and kissed in the club, earlier?” I shook my head, looking at him in disbelief. “Make sure you are referring to some recent event, otherwise,” I took a step forward towards him but managed to have a safe distance between us, “I will not remember it at all,” I added, knowingly.

The atmosphere between us was too heavy to disregard anymore. If we would be closer with each other, we would surely be all over each other’s body- not that I don’t want it but yeah- my curiosity was telling me to remember what this Rupert-guy was saying as our supposed-to-be first encounter.

But I just couldn’t.

He nodded. I thought he would keep the conversation about our first encounter going instead of proceeding where we left off from the parking lot. But he caught me off guard with the next question he asked, “Beer or heavy liquor?”

He no longer waited for my answer. He turned his back on me and started walking inside his condo unit.

My brow raised before a playful smirk spread on my lips. “I go with beer.” I tagged along with him. He went to the kitchen and then to the double door fridge. I settled myself standing in the middle of the living room. “I need to be sober enough and remember the night I will lose my v-card. Don’t you think so?” I even laughed softly because it was like we were just talking about a business deal every time I would bring up my virginity.

He hummed as a response as he rummaged through his fridge for some drinks.

I, on the other hand, was in awe with the luxurious furnitures around me; comfortable sofa set, nice and captivating glass center table, vintage vases all over the place and a grand piano just over the left most corner of the living room; His place got a commendable interior design, with expensive chandelier, dominant silver and blue colors of the walls, ceiling and the carpet. The unit was obviously big and expensive, screaming that Rupert was probably belonging to a very rich family.

“Woah. You got a beautiful unit to brag to your women,” I pointed out before I settled myself on the long sofa. Across me was a big jigsaw puzzle in a frame and hanging by the wall. It was an image of a clown, with its usual big red lips pulled upwards in both sides, diamond-shaped eyes, and circular red nose.

“Thanks to my father’s money,” he answered with a smile, walking back to the living room with two cans of beer in his hand. Indeed, he’s a guy coming from a very well-off family. “Here’s your beer, Ma’am,” he playfully said, settling himself to sit on the carpeted floor as he leaned his back on the sofa.

I took the can of beer as my eyes were glued on the massive jigsaw puzzle in front of me. The person who completed this puzzle must be crazy. How could a person finish a puzzle like this without losing his mind? That’s a lot of pieces and I bet it would take a lot of time to complete.

Don’t tell me Rupert did this puzzle? Oh gosh. He might be smart then.

My gaze averted to him. Is he still studying? He looked the same age as mine, though. But then, he might only have a youthful face but he might be actually older. Maybe the band was his job. I mean, he’s rich. He didn’t really need to have a very nice-paying job to survive.

“That’s a 6, 237-piece jigsaw puzzle. And nope,” he met my gaze, “I’m not that genius and patient enough to complete such puzzle.”

Rupert raised from sitting on the floor. He transferred to the vacant space next to me. He took a sip of his beer before he grinned at me.

I was shocked, on the other hand. “That puzzle has more than six thousand pieces? That’s insane.” I took a sip of my beer and then turned my gaze at him, still looking in disbelief. “If it’s not you, who was the crazy human who did that puzzle?”

He laughed before drinking another chug of his beer. I did the same before averting my gaze back to the framed puzzle.

We were both staring at the hanging frame. The clown image was giving me chills. I don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol I consumed but the puzzle could give you this heavy and suffocating feeling. I’m not afraid of clowns, though.

“But I don’t think it’s a good idea that you put this puzzle in the living room. It felt so heavy sitting here on your sofa while that clown is looking at me.” I took a gulp of my beer before I put it down on the center table in front of me. I leaned back on the sofa then turned to look at Rupert.

He was looking at me as well- his face was leaning closer- until I could see his features clearly. His eyes looked amused. “I bought that in an exhibit. It was an exhibit of rare puzzle works by different people. And that piece was called ‘Trauma’ by the woman who made it.” He put one arm on the back of the sofa before his body came closer to me. His face was so close, I could feel his breath- a mixture of alcohol and mint- fanning my flushed face.

I held the hem of my skimpy dress with my left hand as my thighs pressed together. There’s this aching feeling again in between my thighs because of the heat coming off of his body.

“Trauma? M-Maybe she has a clown phobia,” I said before my mouth hung half-open when Rupert leaned forward and kissed my chin.

“Clown phobia? Could be. But do you know why I bought her piece?” He placed his can of beer on the center table.

“Hmnnn… Do you like her? Is she beautiful?”

I could not take anymore the heat and need I was feeling because of this Rockstar. I let go of my inhibition and placed my hand on his wide chest. Using my other hand, I reached for his free hand and placed it on my exposed thigh.

He softly caressed my skin, while staring intently at me.

“She has an OCD,” he said, which put me in a halt.

I was about to respond about the woman behind the clown puzzle having an OCD when Rupert cut off everything I was about to say. He claimed my lips again. But this time, his kiss was harsh and demanding.

I gasped for breath when his tongue entered my mouth. I was trying to push him to inhale some air but instead of ending our kiss, I felt him start blowing air to my mouth while still kissing the hell out of me.

“Hmnn … Hmnn …” My two hands went up and circled around his neck and pulled him closer.

I felt his hand begin to caress and squeeze my thigh. I couldn’t help but moan out loud because he was dominating the kiss, a rough and hot kiss.

The kiss ended after he sucked my upper lip, making it equally swollen as my bottom lip. I gasped. My body ignited with desire and need when he knelt in front of me, then spread my legs apart. The hem of my dress hitched up, exposing my already wet and sticky underwear.

He knelt between my outstretched thighs and then placed both hands on my knees. He looked up at me and I gulped to see the lust and intense desire in his eyes.

“Are we just going to kiss and drink? I was on that bar to get laid,” I directly said before swallowing another imaginary lump in my dry throat. My body was heating up and my heart was beating so fast because of our position. I could feel a stinging pain on my lips because he obviously sucked it like it was a candy or whatever- but I couldn’t get enough. “I want you to have sex with me tonight, Rockstar. Obviously, that’s the reason why I came home with you.”

“Very direct.” His hands crawled up my thigh which further intensified the longing and warmth I was feeling. “Such a brave kitty we have here.”

I smirked before bowing slightly until my breasts were in front of his mouth. I even pushed my hips forward to be closer to him and my core got even wetter.

“Let me tell you about the most important lesson I learned in my twenty-two years of existence,” I said before running my forefinger from his forehead down to his nose and then to his soft lips. “I learned that the best thing to do when you are doubtful to do something is to actually do it. When you think you’re not ready for something, that’s the exact timing you have to take or else you’ll regret it.”

With everything that I said, I didn’t expect the question he asked me, “You’re twenty-two? It’s a shock to know we’re at the same age.” Then his right hand held my wrist and brought my hand in front of his lips. I gasped when he started sucking the skin of my palm while looking at me.

Oh gosh. Why is this man just sucking everything?

The drive to continue this one-night-stand became even stronger as I watched him suck my palm.

“I don’t fear the things I am doubtful to do,” I said, breathless. My heart raced even more as the spot where he was kissing my palm became wet from his saliva. He was giving it wet kisses and sometimes licking it.

“Really?”

He stopped sucking on my palm and then slowly kissed the part he had sucked earlier. After that, he met my gaze.

I took a deep breath as one of his hands on my knee crawled up my thigh, inside the hem of my dress. My breathing became even more ragged. I nodded breathlessly as the anticipation of the next thing he would do intensified.

“Yeah. I challenge it with all my might … until I can do it.”

He released my wrist before I felt the hand inside my dress pulled down my underwear. The small cotton fabric slowly slid down my legs until I was not wearing anything under my dress. I gasped when the cold breeze of the air conditioner kissed my wet and throbbing womanhood.

I felt so exposed… and yet so turned on.

Then, he wrapped his two arms around my waist and then pulled me closer. I gasped when my wet core got in contact with his torso. I bit my already swollen bottom lip and my cheeks flushed when I felt the fabric of his shirt against my wet folds.

I thought he was going to kiss me and we were going to have sex but he didn’t. His hands were steady on my hips as he looked up to me, our eyes meeting each other- both being covered with lust and need.

“I have a rule before I bring you to heaven, Meredith.”

Damn that Meredith- he really turns me on just by calling me that.

“What is it?”

“I’m a bad guy.”

I stared at him because of what he said. I was speechless and he heaved a deep sigh.

“I am just here to play. No commitment. Just pleasure and desire.”

I smiled. “Perfect.”