Chapter 54
Renee’s POV
“I was raised by my Dad after my Mom left when I was one year old,” I told Shane, playing with the flower I had picked. We were now sitting together in the garden. “He didn’t have so much money to buy me gifts and toys but I was still okay. His love and care were enough for me”
“I’m so sorry about that.” Yeah, I expected that. “But why did your mother leave?”
I opened my mouth to speak but then I paused and took a deep breath. It was strange sitting down with Shane and talking about myself and my family. I didn’t trust people easily and I never told them anything about myself. Well, except Nick.
But with Shane, it was different. Did I trust him? Yes, maybe. But at the same time, I wanted him to know a thing about me. I just felt like losing myself to someone for once.
“Cause my dad didn’t have money” I replied and chuckled dryly. “He couldn’t provide everything she needed”
“I never met my Mom.” Shane shrugged and turned to look at me. “I don’t even know what she looks like and my father doesn’t talk about her. Kade doesn’t either. Sometimes I wonder what happened”
“Have you ever asked him? I mean your Dad?”
“I did when I was a kid but I cannot remember what his responses were.” We remained silent. Then he asked. “What about your Mom? Did you get a chance to meet her?”
“Yeah. I crash with her during the breaks”
Then I remembered what happened during the last break. She had caught me with her boyfriend and blamed him for everything not knowing it was all my fault. Maybe if she was still with Dad, things would’ve been different.
I wouldn’t have been such a bad girl and a lunatic. I wouldn’t have considered sucking dicks for money, ever. I wouldn’t be here with Dad’s old lover and her family. I wouldn’t have known the good boy, Shane.
“How did you get your attacks?” I asked and noticed how his shoulders tensed up. “What about the bullying? Why didn’t you tell your Dad?”
“The attacks started when I was 6. Kade pushed me inside the pool even when he knew I couldn’t swim. I was crying and begging for him to take me out of there but he wouldn’t. He just kept laughing with his friends while I struggled to survive inside the water.”
Damn, Kade is evil.
How could he have done that to his 6 years old brother?
“I started drowning. I thought I was going to die.” He continued with a soft smile on his face that reflected sadness. “But I woke up to find myself in the hospital. Dad was sitting beside me and Georgia wouldn’t stop crying. They kept asking what happened but I couldn’t say anything.”
“Why?”
“Because I was afraid of Kade and what he was going to do next. I knew that if I told Dad, he was going to get punished and wouldn’t talk to me. I didn’t want him to hate me so I kept my mouth shut”
I sighed and stared at him. He has been through so much and I couldn’t even imagine it. The worst part is that his brother was responsible for most of it. He took advantage of his innocence and love for him.
“The anxieties got worse when I was ten years old and Kade wouldn’t stop the bullying. Everyone in school knew about it. The teachers reported to Dad all the time but that didn’t change anything. It made him hate me more”
Layla told me about everything before. That was when she warned me to fucking stay away from him. Thinking about it now, I chuckled lightly. Well, look how far we’ve come.
“Kyle started bullying me after what happened between our fathers.” Yeah, Ashley told me about that. “He knew about the attacks I had and started using it against me. I couldn’t tell Dad or report to the school because he was my best friend and I knew he was just acting out of anger”
“But he’s no more, Shane. How long will you let them trample upon you?” I asked, staring at him. When he didn’t respond, I raised his chin to meet my face. “You have to fight back”
A sigh ripped from his chest as he stared into my eyes, sending sizzles down my spine. It was just an innocent look but it did so much to me.
“I can’t. Even if I want to, I don’t know how to. Kyle is stronger and he’ll always win.”
I smiled and cupped his cheeks. “I can teach you.”
His brows knitted together as he stared down at me in confusion and what seemed like a surprise. “H… How? You’re a girl”
“Girls can fight too” I replied with an eye roll. “I have a boy best friend. He taught me how to fight and defend myself. His name is Nick”
“Nick?!?” He looked surprised but I nodded anyway. “The guy you were talking to on the phone”
“Yeah. I talk to him all the fucking time” I answered and paused, thinking about what he had just said. “Wait, what? How do you know?”
He stiffened and remained quiet. Then he answered. “I… I just know”
Yeah, right. He’s lying and he’s getting pretty good at it.
***
***
During lunch, I got over to the cafeteria with Ashley. After getting our food, we passed through Shane’s table and I waved at him. He was in the middle of a conversation but he paused and smiled back, earning a glare from Layla.
Yeah, that bitch. I was thinking of scraping off her hair or eyebrows so she doesn’t show her face in front of me or anyone again. I know she can’t stand the fact that I’m slowly stealing her best friend’s slash crush from her.
Shane and I now study together. We go to the library when we’re free and we head home together. We even stay up in the dining room most of the time, studying. Everyone thinks it’s a good idea but Layla… That brat. She’s always sticking around or trying to join us which is not fucking acceptable.
“Girl, what are you doing to him? He looks different” Ashley said, looking over her shoulder. I didn’t want to look behind her because I knew Layla was glaring daggers at me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“Oh, you do, Renee. You better start talking”
I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “He’s only tutoring me, that’s all.”
“And…” She smiled, taking a bite from her chips. “I know that’s not all”
“Alright, tell me what I don’t know”
She leaned closer and whispered. “Are you fucking him or you’re teaching him how to fuck?”
“Holy shit, Ashley!!!” I yelled, attracting everyone’s attention. When they didn’t look away, I fired. “Nothing to see here, suckers!”
Everyone looked away and resumed eating, except for Ashley who stared at me with wide eyes. She thinks I’ve been fucking Shane but it’s not even close to that.
He has been teaching me and that’s all. We’ve gotten close and he now talks freely with me without looking nervous. That’s perfect and I don’t want to disrupt it, not yet. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been dying to touch him.
I can only conjure dirty images of him n@ked. I can only fantasize about the dirtiest of things I want to teach him and the things I want him to do to me.
“Hey, don’t tell me you’re dreaming again.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, snapping out of my thoughts. “Shut up, Ash. He gets hotter every fucking day and I cannot help it”
It was until her mouth dropped open that I realized what I had just done. Crap. She wasn’t supposed to know.
“Don’t you dare say a fucking word, Ash!” I warned and shoved more chips into her mouth, just to keep it shut. “I’m attracted to him BUT not in that kinda way. And NO, I haven’t fucked him yet”
I sound shitty but I can’t help it. Yeah, I might be attracted to Shane and yeah, I might as well fuck him if I get the chance.
“Well, I think he’s more than attracted to you, Renee” She shrugged and drank her juice. “I think he likes you”
She’s crazy. “Stop talking shit, Ash. He’s still the good boy, remember”
“I guess that changed a long time ago” She paused and looked over her shoulder.
I followed her movement and looked up to see Shane staring at me from his table. He wasn’t ashamed of being caught like before and didn’t try to look away. Instead, he smiled.