SILENT DESIRES

The doctor went silent as he seemed to mull over Matt’s suggestion. “Perhaps that’s the best idea. It’s cold and a bit gloomy right now. Maybe the better weather will lift her spirits and she’ll regain her strength. It’s not good for her to verge on depression.”

It made Matt’s heart ache to think of Savannah being sad and depressed. He’d do anything at all to make her smile again.

“Give me your okay and I’ll make immediate arrangements for us to leave the city,” Matt said quietly. “I want only the best for her and I’ll do whatever it takes to make her well again.”

The doctor stared hard at him and then lowered his clipboard to his waist. “I believe you, Mr. Bradford. Tell you what. You give me the name of the physician you hire as well as the name of the hospital that will be overseeing her care and I’ll have her medical records transferred. I’ll want to talk to her physician personally and make sure he’s aware of her situation.”

“Thank you,” Matt said sincerely. “Savannah and I both appreciate your attention in this matter.”

“Just take good care of her. I hate to see the young lady so sad.” the doctor said.

Matt nodded, his chest tight. He’d take good care of her, no doubt, but it remained to be seen if he could make her happy again. Still, he wasn’t about to give up. He’d turned his back on her once. Never again would she have any cause to doubt him. If it took him forever, he’d make damn sure she knew she could count on him.

———————–

Savannah sat in the armchair by the window in her hospital room and stared out as snowflakes drifted down in crazy little spirals. Though it was plenty warm in her room, a chill crept over her shoulders and she shivered.

“Do you want a blanket?” Matt asked.

She turned her head in surprise. She hadn’t expected him back, though she should have known he wouldn’t be gone for long. He’d been a constant presence over the past few days, always there, anticipating her every need.

“Sorry if I startled you,” he said in a low voice.

“You didn’t. I just didn’t hear you come in.” She replied.

He moved in front of her and perched on the windowsill. He shoved his hands in his pockets and then leveled a stare at her.

“I just finished talking to your doctor. He’s willing to release you.”

Her eyes widened in surprise.

“There are conditions, of course. He’s very concerned over your health.” Matt said.

She frowned. “What conditions?”

“I’ve already made all the arrangements. I’ve taken care of everything. There’s nothing you need to worry about. Just concentrate on getting well and regaining your strength.”

She shook her head, trying to clear some of the constant fuzz that seemed to permeate her brain lately. She’d existed in a fog ever since her collapse, and worse, her fatigue had grown worse. Something inside stirred, though, as though she ought to protest, but she couldn’t summon the mental energy to do it.

When she remained silent, Matt continued on.

“We’re leaving the city. An ambulance is going to transport you to the airport where a medical team is going to fly us back to the island”

Again she shook her head in silent denial. And she finally found her objection.

“Matt, you can’t just leave here. You can’t hover over me for so long. Neither can you leave your work. Your life is here.” She said,

He slid to his knees in front of her and gathered her hands in his. “My life is with you. You are my absolute priority. I have people who are more than capable of running things in my absence. I have business partners who are more than willing to step in and take over any matters needing my attention. I don’t have to worry about anything.”

Nothing had been said of the night she’d collapsed after her emotional breakdown. It had been a carefully avoided issue, as was the matter of their future…and his brother.

She could see the torment and the terrible guilt in Matt’s eyes, but he didn’t broach the subject and neither did she. She couldn’t do it without upsetting herself and, above all else, the doctor had warned her against becoming distressed. She couldn’t afford another complete loss of control like the night she’d ended up in the hospital. So she’d locked everything behind an impenetrable wall of ice and indifference. Any time she felt her emotions rising, she turned them off and didn’t offer objection or resistance.

And she’d do the same now. Her heart told her to object, to not allow him to take over and whisk her away. She was tired of being hurt. But it simply took too much effort and she’d expended all of her strength.

“Savvie?” he asked softly. “What are you thinking, honey?”

She moved her gaze until it rested on him. His brow was creased in concern and he was staring hard at her as if he was trying to reach in and pluck out her thoughts.

“I’m tired,” she said honestly. And weak.

Heartsick. Unsure of what she wanted. Battling over what was best for her. So many things that she wouldn’t admit because it simply took too much effort to explain.

He touched her cheek, caressing gently. “I know you are, baby. I have no right to ask this of you, but I’m asking anyway. Trust me. Let me take care of you. Let me take you away. You loved it on the island.”

How easy he made it for her to cede control. He was offering her everything she’d ever wanted. His love. His care. Fantasy. He was offering her a fantasy. But fantasies never lasted. They’d already done this once. Escaped from reality for a few idyllic days on the island, but when it was all over they’d had to return to the cold reality of their lives.

But she wanted to leave. She didn’t want to be surrounded by people who despised her. “I want to leave this place”

“Already arranged,” he said.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

“Come with me, Savvie. Trust me. At least for now.”

Maybe she could stay on the island for a while. Surely Matt saw the impossibility of them having a relationship by now. She wouldn’t need much. A small cottage or even an apartment. As soon as she was back on her feet, she could find some other work. She’d waitressed. She wasn’t afraid of hard work. Encouraged by having a goal, a plan, she nodded.