SILENT DESIRES

He didn’t move. “Why are you living this way, Savvie?” he asked. “I can’t wrap my head around why you did what you did. I would have given you everything. Hell, I still gave you a hefty amount of money when we broke up because I didn’t like to think of you being without. But now I find you still living in squalor working a job that is far beneath your abilities.” he said.

A wave of hatred hit her hard. In this moment she realized that she truly loved and hated him in equal measure. Her chest hurt so bad that she couldn’t breathe. Her mind went back to the day when she’d stood in front of him, devastated, completely and utterly broken, while he scribbled his signature on a bank draft and disdainfully shoved it toward her.

The look in his eyes had told her that he didn’t love her, had never loved her. He didn’t trust her. He didn’t have faith in her.

When she’d needed him the absolute most, he’d let her down and treated her like a paid whore. She would never forgive him for that.

She slowly turned and dragged herself over to the kitchen drawer where she kept the crumpled envelope containing the check. A reminder of broken dreams and ultimate betrayal. She’d looked at it often but had sworn she would never walk into a bank and cash it.

She picked it up and walked back over to where he stood, his expression inscrutable. She crumpled the envelope into a ball and hurled it at him, hitting him in the cheek.

“There’s your check,” she hissed. “Take it and get the hell out of my life.”

He bent slowly and retrieved the balled-up envelope. He unfolded it and then opened it, taking out the worn check. He frowned and then stared back at her. “I don’t understand,” he said.

“You’ve never understood,” she whispered. “Since you won’t leave, I’m out of here.”

She tried to walk past him but he stopped her by grabbing her arm gently.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said softly. “I will leave”

“Then leave,” she said.

Matt let go of her arm and walked slowly out of her apartment and into his car. Once inside, he stared at the check in his hand in stunned disbelief, unable to formulate his thoughts. Why?

She acted as though he was a piece of scum. What the hell had he ever done to her but make sure she was taken care of? He thought about her apartment, still the same as it had always been. Simple and neat. But still cheap.

How was she surviving? Furthermore, why was she living like this?

He glanced back down at the check and shook his head. There were enough zeros in the amount for her to live a good, modest life for years to come. The ink had run in several places and it was smudged with fingerprints. But she’d never tried to cash it. Why? There were so many questions running around in his head that he couldn’t process them all.

Did she feel guilty over what she’d done? Had she been ashamed to take money from him after betraying him?

Not the best time to develop a conscience.

One thing was for certain. He wasn’t leaving. There were too many unanswered questions and he wanted answers. Plus, something just didn’t feel right. Why was she here in this place with a job that obviously didn’t net her enough money to feed herself, much less live a comfortable life? What in the world was she going to do with those dreams she had of completing her education?

For some reason he just couldn’t get himself to walk away, even when he knew that was the smart thing to do. Not when she had meant so much to him.

She wasn’t taking care of herself. He had always taken care of her in the past and he would do it again. Whether she liked it or not.

On his way home, he thought of those amazing, beautiful blue eyes of hers and he was thrown back to the very first time they met.

—————————

It was Dash’s birthday and he, Dash and Stefan had come over to the diner for a bite since Dash had insisted that he didn’t want anything fancy and they had all been tired and hungry after a long day of work.

He had been distracted with something concerning his mom and they were having a disagreement. So his attention had been on his phone immediately they sat down. After Stefan and Dash checked the menu, Dash touched him on the elbow.

“What do you want to order, man?” Dash had asked.

“I don’t know,” Matt replied. “Can’t we just order the usual?”

“Nah” Stefan said. “I want something different today”

“Yeah me too,” Dash agreed.

Matt simply shook his head and returned his attention back to his phone. Stefan motioned for the waitress to come take their orders and when Savannah came to their table, Matt’s head was still bent, staring at his phone.

“Good evening” her beautiful voice said. “What can I get for you”

Her voice was what made him look away from his phone. And he found himself staring at a very beautiful young woman. She didn’t have much makeup on, but she had lip gloss on the most kissable set of lips he had ever seen.

She was blond with sexy blue eyes. She was writing down Dash and Stefan’s order on the little pad, then she turned to him and said. “Ermmm… And what would you like me to get for you”

Matt resisted the urge to say “Your phone number” because he knew that would be really lame. But as he stared at her, he knew that he wanted to get to know this lady.

His eyes traveled the length of her body. Her uniform fitted her perfectly, showing off her beautiful, smooth, shapely legs. The first button of her shirt was open and as she was bent slightly towards him, he could see her cleavage. He swallowed hard. Damn, did the woman know how sexy she was?