198 Scar's Condition
Sebastian's POV
If Scar stopped loving me when she brought up divorce, she hates me now.
When she looks at me, there is not even hatred or anger in her eyes. There was nothing. She doesn't see me, but just a stranger who she wishes the worst on. I can read those wishes. I don't mind if she hates me. I don't even mind if she tries to get revenge on me. I do deserve that.
But she won't. She is not here anymore. When I'm not forcing her to talk, it's like she is already beyond this world.
I should spend more time with her. I should have been there for her when Ava came, but I...
"Sebastian...I told you, you don't have to come to the court," Damian is surprised to see me, "When is the last time that you got some real sleep?"
Two or three days ago? I don't have time, literally.
I have been dealing with the baby, Scar's assulting charge, AND investigation of the robbery. I believe Scar, but her story is hard to prove. If it was Ava, then it IS my fault. I gave Ava the code once, for which reason I have already forgotten. Even if it's not Ava in person, she is the source of the code.
I would squeeze in some naps between things, but that's all I can afford right now. It's not like I can't hire people to do all these, but I dare not to let myself stop. I feel like the moment I let go and rest, my whole world would fall to pieces. "How can I not? It's Scar's trial..." I sigh, rubbing my temples as I stand up and follow him, but he stops.
"Sebastian, go home and sleep," Damian grabs my shoulders, "You need to take care of the baby. You have to. You can't let anything happen to him, I'm serious. It's not just about him. Scar's life depends on him, you know that." "Lilith is with him," I nod, pushing him forward.
The only good thing after Scar's accident is that Damian showed his card to me, and suffering together does bring people closer. Though I think it's purely because he played his role in Scar losing hope in people. Not that I think what he did was right, but I do understand where he came from.
"Sebastian..." Damian wouldn't move, his tone hesitating, "Maybe if you could tell Scar about the baby--"
"You know why I can't," I sigh. Bringing up the mess that's my life cranks up the throbbing pain in my temples, "If the only worry is that Scar might be too fragile for any huge mood swing, I would have told her! I really would..." I wish I could.
This was supposed to be the happiest days of my life. I just saw the slimest hope of getting my lovely wife back, with our pretty, healthy baby born, and home built for us. But somehow I fell into hell over night.
Scar's condition was too critical, and
they had to take the baby out. More than two months early! The doctors had zero hope for her survival but she made it. Maybe she knew how much his mama sacrificed for her, and how hard she tried to protect her. Maybe she loves Scar already, just by spending a few months with her mama. I mean, who wouldn't?
But she is not ready for the world yet.
She can't leave the incubator. And that's the least problem. She came with a lot of complications, the most severe among them being BPD.
I didn't even know that word before I met her, and now my little Alice is suffering, all day long.
Even taken care of by the best hospital, we could lose her, at any moment. If Scar knew about her, only to lose her again in a few days, it would kill Scar. It definitely will.
I'd rather Scar hates me, putting holes in me, instead of going through that.
Just a few months. Scar, please. You loved me for so long, just give me a few more months. Maybe even just weeks. So long as our baby's condition is stable, I'll introduce you two. Imean, you two have known each other for a very long time without me. Just, let's call that my revenge on you keeping the baby a secret from me.
Please, God, I can make things right...I just need a little bit more time.
"Sebastian, I won't let anything happen to Scar," Damian blocks me in front of the heavy door of the court room, his voice low and hoarse, I will appeal to change the criminal charge into a civil dispute, and then we will work on Ava Fuller."
"Sebastian!" Damian purses his lips, looking like he is deep in some conundrum, "You know how Scar hates me, too, right...? She wouldn't even let me represent her at first, so..." "So...?" I frown, an ill omen grabbing my heart.
"Sure, yeah, then let's go! You are going to be late--"
"So...her condition for me to represent her is..." Damian takes in a deep breath, bracing himself before he looks me in the eyes, "...you not joining the trial. She...she doesn't..." She doesn't want to see me.