Scream For me

AARON

Sabrina wanted to meet Ben, as after I’d told Jade I would pick Ben up from school, I’d considered letting her meet him. I’d changed my mind at the last minute. How could I do that to him?

I’d never lied to him about Sabrina and where she was. I’d never told him some heroic story about how she’d died doing something wonderful or told him that she’d wanted to be with him but couldn’t, or any of the other silly stories people throughout my life had suggested I tell him.

I’d always believed that for him to know who he was and where he was headed in life, he had to know where he came from. Lying to kids didn’t sit well with me.

Making him meet her without any warning wasn’t right, either. It would have turned everything upside down for him.

So, I’d argued with Sabrina and her lawyer that we needed time to figure this out. Sabrina had been a bitch about it, not wanting to see my side and making ridiculous demands. Howard Moses had understood. When I’d told him that it would be safer for Ben if I talked to him first, he’d convinced

Sabrina, too. At least, despite being on her side, Moses was the type of man who focused on the child’s needs first and foremost, and he was against anything that would cause damage.

This would cause a lot of damage to Ben.

“Hi, Mom,” I said when I stopped at my parents’ house in the middle of the week.

“Grandma!” Ben cried out and hugged my mom.

“Hello, you handsome little devil,” Mom said, kneeling to hug him. “Go say hi to Grandpa. He’s in the living room with Uncle Richard.” Ben ran inside, and Mom turned to me, her eyes worried.

“How have you been?”

I shook my head. “Not good. This whole thing is fucked up. I don’t even know where to start with her.”

“That woman better stay away from our family, or I’ll get more than just a family lawyer on her case.” She bristled, eyes turning hard.

“She has some rights,” I said. “That’s what gets meafter all these years, she gets to walk in and stand on her rights. We’ll figure it out. She’s not the only one who can get a lawyer.”

Mom nodded. “I’m glad you’re fighting it. Do you want to come in for a bit?”

I shook my head. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to take off. I’m going to clear my head.” The last thing I wanted was to sit with my mom and dad, who were equally pissed off about Sabrina, or my brother and his snide remarks. I didn’t have what it took to face him right nowmy life was complicated enough without all his bullshit getting in the way.

“Of course,” Mom said. “Have a good night, okay? Try not to overthink things. I know it’s hard, but we’re going to get through this.”

I nodded. I wanted to believe her. I just wished we were already on the other side with this nasty business behind us.

Hell, I wished it would never have happened at all.

I got into my car and drove through the city. I had no idea what I wanted to do. A part of me wanted to go to Noah and ask him for advice, but I couldn’t deal with him right now, either. He had everything togetherhis life was perfect. I didn’t want to be reminded of that. He and Ava stood together as parents, and Noah never had to worry about her taking Warner away from him.

I couldn’t talk to Gunner, either. He and Maddison were happythey were probably going to get engaged soonbut they didn’t have kids. Gunner wouldn’t understand, and his advice wouldn’t help me.

I sighed heavily and parked against the curb, walking into the pub I usually went to. I’d figured I should do something more productive than drink myself into a stupor, but the idea of forgetting was too enticing.

I sat down at the bar and ordered Bourbon. The amber liquid arrived a moment later, and I nodded at the bartender in thanks. Was it too soon to tell him he could leave the damn bottle?

I drank the first two glasses alone, thinking about how miserable my life had become.

My mind drifted to Jade. I forced my thoughts away from herthinking about her just hurt me on a whole different level. God, I wished I hadn’t pushed her away. I wished I had her to talk to about all this. I had a feeling she would understandshe knew me, and she knew Ben. I just couldn’t do this to her right now. She deserved so much more than the mess my life had become.

“Hey, little brother,” a familiar voice said next to me, and Richard appeared. He sat on the stool next to me and clapped me on the back.

I groaned. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m here to drink with you,” he said. “You look like you’re having a shit time, and no man should have to drown his sorrows alone.”

I snorted and shook my head. “If it is all the same to you, I’d rather you leave me alone.”

“Come on, man. I know things are pretty damn shit. Talk to me.”

I laughed bitterly. “So that you can tell me how badly I fucked up? So you can rub it in my face that I never have my shit together?”

Richard frowned. “That’s not what I’m here for at all.”

“Oh, please. You love pointing out how good you have it and how I threw it all away.”

Richard studied my face. “Is that what you think I think of you?”

“Don’t you?” I asked and drained my second glass. I wasn’t good with alcoholI’d never been. It didn’t take a lot to get me drunk, and I already felt buzzed. Maybe the fact that I hadn’t eaten anything substantial in three days had something to do with it, too.

“I don’t think you threw it all away,” Richard said. “I mean, I give you shit, but that’s what brothers do.”

“You give me shit because you think you’re better than me. You have it allthe prospects, the life, and the perfect condition to continue Dad’s legacy. And me…I got a girl pregnant without knowing it, and now I’m raising my son alone.”

Richard frowned. “If you think I think you fucked up because of what you’re doing, then you’re wrong.”

“You’re so full of shit,” I sneered and waved at the bartender for another drink. “You’re always on me about how much better you are. You think I’m pathetic for doing this.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus, Aaron, if I knew that was what you thought of me, I would have set the record straight years ago. I think you’re noble as fuck for what you did.”

I frowned at Richard, blinking. “What?”

“You heard me. Taking in a kid isn’t easy, and raising him alone…hell, I wouldn’t have had what it took. If I’d been in your shoes, I would probably have put him up for adoption. I wouldn’t have had what it took to raise a kid and give him the right opportunities, but you…you’ve raised Ben all alone, and you’ve done a fucking good job at it, too. He’s a good kid, well-mannered, bright, with a good future ahead of him. That’s all on you, and that’s admirable as hell. I don’t look down on you. I admire you.”

I shook my head. “Then why are you always so standoffish? Why do you avoid me like the plague and treat me like shit when you have to face me?”