Saving Grace

Grace dropped the pen she was holding and exhaled. Her fingers ached for release, she had been writing for several hours. She had gotten a notebook and pen from a nurse and decided to write away the boredom she felt. She interlocked her fingers and played with them. The door opened and she shut her eyes, hoping fervently that it wasn’t her mother.

“Hey tigress!”

Relief washed into her bones on realizing that it was Joshua, her Joshua.

“Hey tiger.” Grace replied with a smile.

“I’m a lion.” Joshua argued back, using his leg to slam the door shut.

“Alright frog.”Grace stuck her tongue out.

Joshua laughed and replied,”You are in a good mood today, I can see that.”

“Thank you frog.” Grace grinned.

“I’ll let it slide anyways. Are you hungry for pizza?” Joshua asked, holding out the box of pizza in his hand.

“Of course, yes.” Grace was elated, she swallowed her saliva when he opened the box. The pizza was tantalizing and the best part was that it had her favorite topping, pepperoni.

Her gaze travelled wide and she watched as Joshua took a chair and sat close to her bed. She watched as he opened the box and took a slice of pizza, he then reached to feed it to her.

“I’m not a child, Joshua. I can feed myself.” Grace pouted, shaking her head.

“I am not giving you a choice, tigress. Open your mouth.” Joshua commanded.

“Alright.” Grace obliged, opening her mouth wide to receive the generous slice of pizza.

As soon as the taste of the pizza hit her tongue, Grace moaned in delight. The pizza was absolutely delicious.

“It’s great right?” Joshua asked, taking a slice into his mouth.

“Yes.” Grace nodded, still munching the pizza.

“So how are you doing, tigress. Tell me how your day went.” Joshua inquired.

“Well it was quite boring until I got a notebook and a pen from a nurse and began writing.” Grace responded hurriedly. She didn’t want to talk about her mother.

“And how’s writing going? Do you want to show me?” Joshua gave her another slice.

“I’m not yet done with it. I’ll show you tommorow.” Grace admitted.

“Okay, that’s fine.”

And there was a thick silence between them. Grace kept making sounds with her mouth while Joshua kept staring at her as if something was wrong.

“Grace.” Joshua started.

“Yeah?”

“I know you are going to hate me for saying this.” Joshua acknowledged.

“Saying what?”

“You see…I kind of…..” Joshua stammered.

Grace sensed something was off from his facial expression. He was trying so hard to say it and she knew instantly that it would be something she disliked.

“Did…. you cheat on me?” Grace propped up an eyebrow.

“No, I would never cheat on you, Grace. I’m not that kind of man.” Joshua assured.

“Then what’s wrong?” Grace croaked, she hoped he wasn’t moving away. Her mind travelled wide thinking different situations. Was Joshua leaving her? Had his feelings changed? Or did he have cancer? Her thoughts were halted when Joshua spoke.

“I met your mother.”

The pizza uneaten in Grace’s hand fell on the ground instantly. She glared at Joshua, demanding more words from him. What business did he have with her mother? She then kept a straight face to control her emotions.

“And so? You made it look like you had a problem or something.” Grace shrugged.

“She wanted to talk to you and you pushed her away.” Joshua muttered.

“I really don’t care.” Grace replied.

“You pushed her away.” Joshua repeated.

“I’m not deaf. I heard you the first time. Grace answered coldly.

“You should have given her a chance to explain herself. She must have felt sorry about talking to you that way. Listening to her is the proper thing to do.” Joshua explained.

“Are you here to lecture me or make me feel happy and loved? What goes on in my family is none of your business.” Grace dictated.

“It is my business. She was really hurt. She think you hate her and-”

“I don’t want her to think that I hate her. I want her to know that I hate her.” Grace responded with a wave of her index finger.

Anger was boiling inside her like a volanco ready to erupt.

“You have to learn to forgive, she’s your mother. She gave birth to you for goodness sake.” Joshua tried to persuade.

“I don’t think you understand what my mother did, she insulted my dream and called it childish. She never supported me in anything I did on my own. She didn’t care about my health either so why the fucking hell should I forgive her? I guess you don’t understand because you don’t have parents anymore so-” Grace started but was interrupted.

“Watch what you say, tigress. Don’t let me get mad at you. ” Joshua said icily.

“Okay, Fine!” Grace admitted and tore her gaze away from him. Why was he so impulsive?

Seconds flew by, Grace didn’t feel the need to talk anymore so she stared at the window. Then she turned and looked at him.

“Then…tell me, do you know anything about forgiveness?” Grace stuttered.

Joshua looked at her straight in the eyes before replying, “I know a lot about forgiveness.”

“Really?” Grace tilted her head.

“Yeah.” Joshua nodded.

“Care to explain?” Grace asked.

“Sure tigress.” Joshua gave off a fake smile, he was slightly pissed.

“When I was still married and my wife was still alive, she cheated on me severally with different men even with the plumber who repaired the sink in our home.” Joshua laughed humorlessly.

“What the-”

“I can’t count the number of times I caught her on top of a man in our bed and surprisingly I can’t count the number of times I’ve forgiven her for cheating on me. And every time I forgive her, she ends up doing it again and I also end up forgiving her. I loved my wife so much. I neglected the fact that she was whoring around. She even did it when she was pregnant, I guess she loved sex and I wasn’t around to give it to her since I was always having night shifts in the hospital. ” Joshua said.

“Because you were busy in the hospital saving lives doesn’t mean she should cheat on you. It doesn’t make sense. Did she bewitch you or something?” Grace said with a confused expression.

“She didn’t bewitch me. I was just certain that she would eventually stop sleeping around with men.” Joshua replied.

“Did she ever stop?” Grace asked.

“No.”

“So if I cheat on you, you’ll forgive me right?” Grace winked at him playfully.

“Hell no!” Joshua shouted.

“Why not?” Grace asked with a pout.

“You are mine and mine alone.” Joshua declared.

“Why are you being possessive? You forgave your wife when she cheated on you.” Grace objected.

“Well I’ve changed. I don’t think I would be able to forgive you if you do that.” Joshua replied with seriousness.

“Okay.” Grace shrugged.

“Then would you forgive your mother? I’ve given a reason to forgive.” Joshua placed his elbows on the iron rails.

“I won’t forgive her and I don’t intend to.” Grace obstinately replied.

“Grace, I want you to just listen-”

“I don’t want to listen. Please go away.” Grace snapped.

“What?”

“You heard me Joshua. You are really getting me angry and I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.” Grace begged.

“But-”

“Please just go.” Grace repeated.

“Fine. I’ll leave.” Joshua rose up on his feet.

“Okay.”

Grace was shocked when Joshua slightly bent and pressed a feather kiss on her forehead.

“I’m sorry if I made you upset or angry. You know how much you mean to me. But promise me, you’ll think about it. Everyone deserves a second chance.” Joshua whispered.

Grace simply smiled and turned around, tearing her gaze away from his. Tears gathered in her eyes, threatening to fall. She mashed her lips together, trying to hold it together but it was fruitless. The tears fell like Pompeii. She tried to wipe the tears as they came but she couldn’t keep up with it because it didn’t stop flowing. When she turned to look at Joshua, he was already gone. He did what she wanted but why was she hurting about it.

Grace covered her face with her hands and wept aloud till she was worn out.

******

Joshua threw the empty box that held no pizza in it into the waste bin. He then paused and leaned on the wall. He knew Grace wasn’t mad at him, she just wanted space. He wanted to see her laugh but he ended up making her sad.

“I’m a bad boyfriend.” Joshua muttered, banging his head on the wall.

He wished he never mentioned talking to her mother. He regretted opening his lips to voice it but now it was too late. A soft tapping on his left shoulder brought him of his reverie and he slowly lifted his head away from the wall.

His eyes locked with Helen and he gasped dramatically. Why was she everywhere?

“How many hours does it take you to eat? You have been gone for over an hour. You aren’t a slow eater. Where were you?” Helen asked, folding her arms.

“Well…. I was with a patient. I actually shared the pizza with her.” Joshua scratched his head nervously.

“Her?” Helen was dumbfounded.

“Are you referring to Grace?” Helen’s eyes widened in shock.

“Yeah.” Joshua leisurely nodded.

“Are you guys dating or what?” Helen asked.

“Something like that.” Joshua replied with a grin.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Joshua nodded.

“And you think it’s alright?”

“Yeah.” Joshua replied.

“Are you really a fool Joshua? Can’t you see that you are being used emotionally? She’s probably bored and needs attention. You were supposed to be her doctor and now you are her boyfriend. What the heck is wrong with you? You are supposed to treat and fix her not dive into her life like a Prince. She definitely doesn’t need saving. I’m really disappointed in you.” Helen yelled.

“Are you done with your pep talk?” Joshua shot her a glare. He was utterly irritated by her words.

“Pep talk? Are you really not listening to me? You even shared pizza with her, you shared the pizza I gave you with a patient.” Helen ranted.

“I’ve a patient to attend to. You are wasting my time.” Joshua replied icily.

“What the hell? Are you really ignoring me? You don’t know what you are doing Joshua. You only have a stupid crush on her. You really don’t care about her.” Helen placed a hand on her hip.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you only have a stupid, childish and foolish crush on her.” Helen gaggled her eyes at him.

“Then congratulations.” Joshua grinned.

“For what?” Helen shot him a confused look.

“You just won the award for being the worst best friend ever.” Joshua replied with an appluase. He advanced towards Helen and clapped in her face dramatically.

Joshua then dipped his hands into his pockets and then drew it out, producing a five dollar bill. He then threw it on Helen’s face without batting an eye lid.

“That’s for the pizza and by the way, it wasn’t so delicious.” Joshua said with a smirk and began walking with both hands in his pockets. He could feel her burning gaze at the back of his head but he wasn’t bothered. She had no right to insult his love life and definitely had no right to talk bad about Grace, his Grace.