Rachel

Rachel

I don’t know what is happening here or why Jayce demanded this weird request. What is he trying to do? And what’s with his positive behavior? I can’t understand.

I sighed, having enough of his weird behavior and how to scold him, making him leave the night alone with Liam.

But before I can say anything, Jane steps in to stop Brandon, placing a comforting hand on Brandon’s shoulder as she eyes Jayce with some anger. “This argument will get us nowhere, so both of you calm down. Brandon Marline is all alone, she might be asking for us. And Jayce, you need to understand that this is not the first time that Rachel has been babysitting one of our children at night, and we trust her, but you are a complete stranger. So….,” Jane sighed. “Maybe you’re overstepping your boundaries by asking our permission to put your once in our palace and think,”

Jane made up her point, which I clearly agree with completely.

“Jayce, Jane is right. Jayce, you should stop now?”

Jayce sighed loudly, staring at Liam’s tiny figure in my arms. “You guys are right, but trust me for once.”

“This man,” Brandon groaned, trying his best not to curse in front of Liam, looking at Jayce with fury.

This argument seemed to go nowhere, and I didn’t know what to do to convince Jayce at that point.

“I’ll ask you again, Rachel. Do you trust Jayce with all your heart?” Jane asked, looking defeated by the never-ending argument.

“I do trust completely, but it is not about my trust. It is about yours.”

“And I trust you,” Jane said, turning her head at Brandon. “We should leave.”

“But Jane….,” Brandon tried to complain again, but Jane placed her index finger on Brandon’s lips, making him silent.

“No more arguing. Let’s trust Rachel on this,” she said, kissing Liam’s head one last time before pulling Brandon towards her.

Once they left, I turned my head to Jayce with fury. “What was that about?”

“What?” Jayce tried to ignore my remark with a big smile on his face. “At least I can be with you all night.”

“That’s not the answer to my question,” I said, following him. And we both walked towards his car.

“Jayce, stop trying to run away from me,”

“I’m not running. I’m just trying to help you.” He opened the car door for me, acting like a gentleman.

“Help me…. how, by running my relationship with the people that truly care for me,”

Jayce looked sad at my rude remark. “I’ll never do that with you, and you know that.”

I sighed, “But Jayce, do you agree that you’re wrong back there?”

“I know, Rachel…., but my fear of losing you again. Make me do that.”

“You have me…,” I said, placing my hand on his thigh.

“For now, but what if you change your mind? What if…..,”

“Jayce, nothing will change. I’ll not leave you ever again.”

Jayce sighed, placing his hand on mine. “Still, I can’t help but….” Jayce shook his head. “You know what? Tomorrow morning, pack everything you need. You’re moving in with me.”

Where does this topic come from? “Clam down, we can have this conversation after reaching home, and Liam needs to sleep.” I changed the subject.

Jayce nodded, driving silently towards Jane’s house.

The drive to Jane’s house went in complete silence, with both of us not trying to make a single noise. Maybe what happened in the hospital is still bothering us in some way or another way. But I’m too tired of any arguments. Today has already been so hectic for both of us. Have our misunderstandings, Grace and Daniel being pregnant, all this in just 24 hours, and the day is not over yet. Just minutes ago, Brandon and Jayce argued just because of me.

I don’t even want to guess what is going to happen next. I hope it’s something good.

*******

Jayce

I don’t know what it is now, but I’m so tired, both physically and mentally. I don’t know how long this continues. So much has happened in so little time that it is taking me a hard time to accept everything.

Having Rachel in my life is a blessing. I don’t think that I deserve her. But with Rachel being in life again. Also comes the insecurities that somehow are building inside me, having her away from me for so long.

The fear of losing her again. I fear the suffering that I have been through when she was not with me.

Until now, I had not realized the fact, but now I know. How important Rachel is in my life.

I was never too broken when my dad died or after the death of my mom, even though they both hold a very important place in my heart.

I was never, when Summer left me, for someone else. But I don’t know why Rachel’s absence has such an impact on my life.

I don’t know why her presence impacts me so badly in my life. And the phobia of losing her again kills me from the inside out. So bad that I’m scared of falling asleep. I’m scared that she will leave again while I’m asleep, like before.

My feelings for Rachel are more than love. If one can say so, I not only love her but I also want her to buy me every time and everywhere I go.

Maybe that is the reason why I created such a scene in the hospital. I know both, whatever their name was not wrong, all they wanted was the safety of their child, but what they don’t know is the insecurities that I have. I love Rachel and I know she loves me, too. But I can’t make myself trust her again so easily. At least not until I know she will never leave me again. Call me a possessive psycho. I don’t care, but Rachel is not going anywhere without me.