In my feelings
Jason Davenport
I sat in my room staring at the ceiling. I was bored. And there was nowhere to go.
I’d played every video game I had over and over again, I didn’t have soccer practice today, and I’d been to Rory’s and Greg’s twice in the last few days.
On top of all that, Dad wasn’t back yet. Not that it’d be any comfort if he was because he’d probably be at work by now.
Contrary to my better judgement, I texted Dad everyday to make sure he was still alive. To make sure he was okay. And so far, it looked like they were having fun.
I frowned.
Of course they were having fun. It was obvious from Ashley’s Instagram page-she literally uploaded every minute, from their bedroom view to every meal they were having to PDA.
It was actually starting to get annoying. I was out here worrying about dad getting hurt, and he was somewhere in Paris having fun.
Was he even worth it? I wondered. It was a pretty selfish thing he did-abandoning me like this. But I wasn’t so worried. When I exposed Ashley he’d begin to see me, really see me.
Sighing, I turned off my phone. Maybe I should visit Adrian. We could play basketball or something. Maybe just go out and have fun.
I opened my phone, leaving him a text, then scrolled through my unread messages. My eyebrow shot up as I saw that I had one from Kimberly.
“What a surprise,” I laughed. Is this her crawling back? I wondered. Not that it’d be such a surprise though. Had she finally realized that no one could fuck her as good as I could? Probably.
I’d make sure to ignore her at Rory’s party the last time. She’d showed up in a strappy, slutty dress, making her the center of attention, of course. But I’d pretended not to notice her, wanting to walk all over her ego.
It was obvious she was bothered by it as she’d made subtle passes at me all night. But I’d centered all my attention on Mikayla instead, even choosing to French kiss her instead of Kim when we played truth or dare.
So it was obvious she felt slighted. But I hadn’t expected her to text me, though. Full of curiousity, I clicked on the message.
‘U home?’ The message said.
I let out a loud laugh in disbelief. Finally bringing Queen Kim to her knees, were we?
I smirked. Well now, it’s my time to play hard to get.
‘Nahh why?’ I laughed as I pressed send. That’ll teach her.
I saw that she was online as she’d already started to type out a reply.
‘Seriously?’
‘What dyou mean :(‘ I asked, adding the sad face for emphasis. I knew it would only irritate her.
‘Ur such a dick Jason.’
‘At your service.’ I typed, loving that I was in control now.
‘We both know you’ll come running back,’ She replied, before sending me a smirking emoji and going offline.
I chuckled, exiting Instagram after seeing a notification that showed me that Adrian had agreed to hang out.
Amelia Forbes
I was snuggled under the covers in bed. I was almost always in bed all the time now. My phone sat lifeless on the dresser right beside my bed. I hadn’t used it for a while.
Frankly, I was too tired to engage in any form of socialization. So I lay in bed, day in day out, waiting for everything to finally be over.
The sound of my door pushing open increased my heart rate by a notch and I clung to my sheets, programming my brain to remember that the only people in this house were me and Nana, and that no one was going to burst through the doors and hurt me.
The reality of my life right now was so sad I could’ve cried. But I was way too tired for that. . .
Nana peeked in, her head sticking out. Seeing that she’d gotten my attention, she signed, Can I come in?
I nodded, too tired to sign.
She walked in with a plate of food balanced carefully on a tray. She paused and stared in dismay when she saw that the chicken soup she’d brought in for me this morning sat on the table, untouched.
Worry clouding her eyes, she put down the tray and moved to my side, sitting and holding my shoulders gently.
Are you okay, baby? She asked, her eyes roaming my face for any signs of illness.
Her hold on my shoulders was gentle, but I couldn’t help but flinch. She let go of my shoulders, her frown deepening.
What’s wrong? She asked again.
I wanted to raise my hands, sign and tell her I was okay. But my hands wouldn’t cooperate. They felt heavy. Way too heavy to carry.
So I sat there. Either nodding or shaking my head in dissent. Burying myself deeper into the sheets when the image of bloodied sheets flashed through my mind.
Nana smoothened out my hair.
Are you sure you’re okay? She asked again, placing a hand on my forehead to determine my temperature.
I nodded. Then managing to raise my hands I signed, I’m just really tired and I need to sleep.
As I put my hands down, I reflected on how exhausting that motion was. Everything was exhausting. . .
Nana examined my face for a few moments, her white eyebrows drooping.
Let me know if you need anything, okay? She signed, getting up and kissing my forehead.
I didn’t have the energy to nod so I didn’t. She lurked for a few more minutes before moving to the table and taking away the cold chicken soup.
I sat up, looking down at the tray she’d brought in. Potato wedges, eggs and bacon that’d usually have made my mouth water as I looked at them only made me feel nauseous.
I took a sip of hot chocolate, liking the pain I felt when it burned the tip of my tongue.
The potato and bacon were tasteless in my mouth so I carefully moved the tray away and retreated under the covers once more, shutting my eyes as tightly as I could.