PREGNANT AFTER ONE NIGHT STAND

I once teased Dona mercilessly for being so sensitive as a guy, even though she’s not really what you would call traditionally masculine. She’s quite sensitive and perceptive to changes in mood. The downside is that she can burst into tears like a flood if her sensitive heart is touched. At that time, her boyfriend was sulking because we worked overtime too much during the weekend. I remember a whole month filled with crowded and directionless activities just because we were going to have a massive gathering.

The entire staff was in a frenzy and overwhelmed. We had interdivision performances that required us to spend extra time after office hours. It was fun, I can’t deny that. Also, during that time, Krystal was eagerly waiting for the quarterly reports. So everyone in the office was in a rush.

Time that was supposed to be used for dating or just relaxing wasn’t really available until the event was over. And Dona’s boyfriend at that time was really upset. He didn’t want to be visited by Dona after he made sure she was done with the exhausting but fun event.

Upon learning that her boyfriend didn’t want to accept her visit, Dona cried. Seriously. Naomi and I were at a loss as to how to convince the guy not to cry. And his crying was so loud; he would call his boyfriend’s name “Aseng” repeatedly, offering unclear apologies when Aseng might not even hear him. Not to mention the scattered tissues in my living room.

Oh my goodness. If I remember it, honestly, it was so disgusting.

But it seems like I’m cursed. The suffocating and restless feeling Dona experienced then, I might be experiencing it now. And it’s really uncomfortable. Usually, whenever I come home, Cedric prepares me a drink while I take a shower. It’s so rude, right? But what can I do? Cedric doesn’t let me mess around in the kitchen. He says I’m tired from work and need to change quickly to feel fresh and keep a good mood.

Starting from the special chocolate milk for pregnant women that he prepares. Once, I tried the vanilla flavor. It really knocked me out and I suddenly felt nauseous and got diarrhea. I was confused, why so sensitive? And it only agrees with the chocolate flavor. So that’s become the regular one Cedric makes for me before I go to sleep.

Now?

The man is not here. My apartment is so empty. There’s no sign of life except for myself as I walk slowly to the living room. I lie down slowly because I realize I can’t move carelessly. I don’t want Baby to get hurt inside. I don’t want that.

Slowly, I close my eyes. Trying to catch the remaining scent of Cedric, but there’s none. Absolutely none. I can’t forget his perfume’s scent, but it’s not here. Even just a trace would make me a little more at ease. My phone, which I’ve been holding all this time, is still the same. No reply or news from Cedric.

Where are you, Cedric?

Doesn’t he know that I secretly miss him?

My phone rings loudly. I panic because I don’t realize that I’m crying again. I’m such a crybaby! I want to hate myself, but I’m experiencing this thing that I really don’t like. I can’t hold back my tears, can I? They just flow because of the tightness in my chest that won’t ease.

Full of enthusiasm, I grab my phone, but disappointment strikes again. Naomi’s name appears on the screen. It’s not that I don’t like being called by Naomi, but I was hoping for a different name to appear.

“Hello, Naomi,” I answer reluctantly. Slowly, I unhook my shoes and blouse. After all, I’ve already locked the door, and the curtains are still as tidy as I left them this morning. So I’m safe.

“Have you arrived?”

“Just now.” I take off my blouse with the phone pinned to my shoulder. “How’s your dad?”

I hear Naomi sigh deeply. “This time he needs to be hospitalized. I’m confused, who’s going to take care of him.”

“Aunt Ira?”

“What! She’s so useless in taking care of my dad. That woman is so damn annoying!”

I feel like hugging Naomi tightly when she swears. Naomi is used to using foul language but only in front of me. As much as she dislikes her stepmother, I still have to give her credit. She rarely uses foul language or shows her dislikes. She just keeps quiet, not because she doesn’t like arguing, but because she pities her father.

That’s the only choice she has.

If she starts swearing, it means she’s already reached her limit. There’s nothing I can do except say, “Be patient.”

“Well, there’s nothing else I can do except be patient, right?”

I wince.

“You’re alone in the apartment, is that okay?”

Can I laugh? “I’m usually alone, Naomi.”

I hear her let out a loud sigh. “Usually, Cedric is here, so I’m not too worried. Now? You’re alone, Ya. You’re so careless, you know.”

I pout.

“I’m actually worried about you.”

“I’m the one who’s worried about you, Naomi. I’ll be fine. I won’t do anything weird. Baby is also calm like this. I think Baby knows I’m alone at home.”

I don’t know if my words sound funny or what, but I can clearly hear Naomi’s laughter.

“Why?” I’m confused.

“Finally, I like this changed version of you, Anya.”

I furrow my brow.

“You’re starting to accept what’s already destined in your life. No more complaining about this or that. You’re starting to enjoy the roles you have. Cherish it, Anya, while you’re still in this world. A mother’s love starts from the moment she knows there’s a child growing in her womb,

Ya. And that love is not-”

“My mother isn’t like that, Naomi.” My eyes raise, afraid that my tears will make my cheeks wet again.

“That’s why. Never act like your mother. Some mothers aren’t responsible, some struggle with fate so that their children can succeed. It’s a choice, Ya. But you’re smart, right? Use your intelligence to do better. Even though it started with mistakes. Besides, her father is good. You’re really lucky, Ya.”

“I’m the evil one, right, Naomi.” I can’t hold back any longer, recalling Mother, hearing Naomi’s words, and remembering the events on Sunday, making me cry again.

“You’re not evil, just lost.”

I pout a little. “Damn it.”

“And thank God, now you’re sane.”

“Why are you so annoying, Naomi?”

She chuckles. We both end up laughing. “Take care there, okay. Don’t forget to rest. Are you taking a day off tomorrow?” I ask.

“Yeah, just for one day. I want to give a lecture to that girl. So she’ll be sane. If I can change you with my lecturing, then she definitely can too. It’s so stupid if she still doesn’t understand.”

I laugh. Naomi is so straightforward, speaking without thinking.

After the call ends, I feel better. So I decide to take a shower and go to bed immediately. My body is a bit tired. When I enter the bathtub area, as usual, the warm water mixed with aromatherapy makes me relaxed. There are also aromatherapy candles lit in the room. They really help me sleep well. Although after showering, I apply some eucalyptus oil on certain areas of my body, not for warmth but because I like its scent.

But not as much as I adore Cedric’s perfume. I guess I’ll have to ask him later if we make up, whenever that happens. After bathing, I look at the bed, still covered with the same blanket that covered our bodies two nights ago. I feel that if I hug it tightly, I can still catch a whiff of his perfume. Hopefully.

I wrap myself in the blanket, searching for a faint trace of Cedric’s scent. Also on the pillow he used. I’m really going crazy, it seems.

“I miss you, Cedric.”