Once, my paranoid love

Leaving the basement behind, I gently closed the door, allowing the thick layer of silence to once again envelop the hidden chamber. As I ascended the stairs, my thoughts were consumed by the sight of Paul lying there in the dim light, finally at rest. The weight of the past, the choices made, and the pain inflicted loomed heavily over me. I had offered him a moment of solace, but the echoes of the past would not be silenced so easily.

Outside, I found the maid, still dozing on her vigil. I hesitated, not wanting to awaken her, but my presence had its intended effect.

“Hey, wake up… Hey.”

She stirred, her eyes opening with the heavy cloud of sleep still hanging over her.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” She inquired, her voice laced with concern.

I offered her a weary but grateful smile, realizing that she had played her part in a quiet act of compassion. “Yes, you can go to sleep, and I’m sorry to have bothered you,” I replied, my words bearing the weight of appreciation.

With that, I continued my ascent to the second floor, where the hushed tranquility of the night was disturbed only by the soft patter of my own footsteps. The door to our bedroom stood ajar, and as I entered, the dim light from the hallway spilled in, casting a gentle glow over the room.

Derek lay there in peaceful slumber, his back turned to me. His breathing was steady and deep, with lines of exhaustion etched in his features. Guilt gnawed at me, knowing that I had ventured into the basement without his knowledge, breaking the fragile trust that had begun to mend between us. But the sight of Paul’s suffering had been more than I could bear, and I had been driven by a compulsion to offer some small act of kindness.

I settled onto the bed, my gaze fixed on Derek’s form. In the quiet of the night, my thoughts were a whirlwind of emotions. Sadness tugged at my heart, and the weight of my actions bore down on me. My eyes drifted to the expanse of his back, and I whispered in my mind, “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stop myself from seeing him suffer. I just wanted to feed him.”

**

The first light of dawn filtered through the curtains, softly illuminating our bedroom as I slowly stirred from slumber. The tranquility of the early morning was pierced by the sound of movement. I turned my gaze toward the source, and there, on the closet side, stood Derek, already dressed and ready for the day.

My eyes narrowed as I observed Derek. I realized I had overslept. I shifted slightly, intending to offer an apology, but the words eluded me.

I managed to stammer, “I… I’m sorry. I think I overslept.”

Derek, his shirt half-open and a wristwatch adorning his wrist, appeared to sense my unease.

He turned back, his strides confident, and settled beside me on the bed. Before I could express my apology, he bent down, placing a gentle, tender kiss on my forehead. The gesture caught me off guard, leaving me momentarily speechless.

Derek’s chuckle was warm and filled with affection. “Sleep more. Your class isn’t so early,” he reassured me, his voice soft and comforting.

“No… I mean, you are going, so I should help you,” I stammered, my voice faltering under the weight of the unspoken secrets.

“Help me? By what? Are you going to button my shirt or knot my tie?” His voice carried a chuckle, as though my offer was a mere joke, but I detected a glint of something else in his eyes.

Had Derek discerned something from the night before? I couldn’t be certain, but the mere possibility sent shivers down my spine.

“Yesterday, I did, right?” I managed to stammer, my voice laced with a tinge of anxiety. The question hung in the air, the unspoken tension growing thicker with every passing second.

Derek, sitting before me, seemed to sense my unease. His gaze bore into mine with an intensity that sent a shiver down my spine. It was as if he were dissecting my every nuance, searching for something hidden beneath the surface. And then he spoke, his words tinged with a mischievous smirk.

“But yesterday I had pain in my hands. So are you doing it every day?” His voice dripped with sarcasm, and I could sense the undertone of mockery in his words. My heart hammered in my chest, and my thoughts raced as I grappled with the sudden realization that he was playing with fire.

I had to be calm, maintain my facade, and not give in to the panic that clawed at the edges of my composure. With a deep breath, I steadied my voice, though it quivered with the weight of the impending reckoning. “Yes, I… I will do it,” I replied, my words laced with forced confidence.

As I began buttoning his shirt, my hands moved with deliberate precision, masking the turmoil within. Derek’s gaze bore down on me, his eyes drilling into my soul, and I could feel the weight of his scrutiny.

I quickly buttoned and knotted Derek’s tie.

I was determined to maintain an appearance of normalcy, even if my heart raced beneath the surface.

“It’s… done,” I managed to say with a smile, my voice attempting to conceal the turmoil that churned within me.

Derek, seemingly satisfied with my assistance, suddenly surprised me. He reached out and grabbed my face, planting a kiss on my cheek, his words were a whisper that sent shockwaves through my senses. “I am so lucky to have such a wife like you.”

My eyes widened in shock, and I instinctively pushed him back slightly. “You… go. I will join you in the dining room,” I stammered, my words trembling with a mixture of surprise and fear.

I rushed to the bathroom, my heart pounding like a drum. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts and dissect the implications of Derek’s words and actions. The door closed behind me, and I leaned against it, my hands trembling as I covered my mouth.

Did he know? Did he suspect that I had spent the previous night with Paul? Derek’s words and his kiss on my cheek were more than just a playful tease.