Not Your Mate Anymore

Chapter 20

"Everything is great! Max is amazing. He's just been busy with pack work right now." I say to Josey and her mates through Facetime.

It was all lies. Max wasn't busy with anything. Max has been the exact opposite of amazing.

I have been pretending with everyone in my family. Not one of them knew what was going on. They had no idea what I was going through. That under all the heavy make up was an under fed, unloved Sabrina who was left to fend for herself for 5 whole months.

"Keep safe Sabrina! See you next month for the sip and see.." Josey says to me. We exchange 'I love yous' and then the line goes dead.

I repeat the same thing with my dad and Cj before I go take a shower to remove all this make up.

I have not seen Max in months and everyone had moved out of this pack house to live in the newly built one. Everyone except for me. Max moved out and made it clear I was to stay here as nobody wanted to live with a traitor who had almost half the pack's men slaughtered.

Yes. My fears have manifested. They all blamed me for new uncles behavior. It was all his doing. Turns out, he had the same mind controlling power as me. He got to the warriors and finally to Max. I did not have my nana or mama's guidance on how to reverse it. I tried so hard but nothing. Nana has gone missing and now new uncle too. After creating all of this mess, he ran off. The moon goddess was silent too, go figure! I should've known she only makes herself known if she wants something in return. Besides, she told me to kill him and my stupid morals got in the way

Like I said, I was all alone.

Tristan was the only one new uncle didn't get to as he was away and only came back after. I explained the whole situation to him and he's been making sure I'm okay and he takes me to human territory for

my pregnancy check ups as the pack doctor refused to see me. He's all I have left in this pack. Uncle Deacon was with my dad helping Cj with his alpha duties so I couldn't exactly tell Uncle Deacon of Max's behavior without alerting my family.

Max has taken a new girl. They make love every night and if it wasn't for my strength and healing powers, the baby wouldn't have survived. Athena has gone off to the back of my mind and I don't blame her. He took a new Luna and marked her. We are all linked now and she makes it a point to share her thoughts with me. I can see her memories.

Memories of her with Max making love. Memories of her and Max running in their wolves. Memories of Max feeding her as she sits on his lap in the new dining hall. Memories of her with my man.

The man I loved.

I cried every night. You'd think I'd run out of tears but every night my pillowcase would be soaked as I endure yet another night of pain thanks to their non stop shagging. I was alone in this. Yes I had Tristan but he had his own life. He also had his duties to the new Luna who kept him busy enough not to spend too much time with me. By the time he gets to me, he's so exhausted, I just let him sleep it off.

Today, I decided to go for a run.

I decided not to link Tristan as there was yet another pack meeting and I was not invited. I took that time to put on my gym gear and go out for a run. I ran around the house and into the woods for that much needed fresh air. Athena needed it since we couldn't shift. She took comfort in knowing that since Max chose a new mate, it hasn't rained. Which meant that they weren't blessed with child and I always remind her of how Cj was born.

The goddess can do no wrong in Athena's eyes.

I ran to clear my head. Clear my head of worrying about Percy who was exiled from the pack and I had to watch from the window in my room as Max smiled up at me.

Percy surviving as a rogue?

Unlikely.

I just hope my grandfather received my message in time to help set him up in human territory. He hurt me but I'm a forgiving person. Everyone deserves a second chance at life.

I ran because even though I couldn't train, it was imperative that I stay fit so I'm prepared for anything. Max can decide to banish me too and I needed to stay strong so I can protect my son.

Have I thought of running away? Yes. Every damn day.

I ran away when Percy chose Ralyn and now that Max chose someone else, I couldn't bring myself to run. I wanted to face my demons this time. I stopped by the lake that leads to my grandfather's house and sat down to catch my breath. It was too hot so I decided to strip and swim a bit in the lake. I swam for what felt like hours until I decided I needed to get out.

I saw my grandfather's house was in view now and it hit me, I was out of Max's territory now and I had no energy to swim back. I decided to swim towards the house when I got tired and decided to float while I caught my breath. One of the workers at my grandfather's house saw me and immediately rushed to my side as they thought I was drowning.

I was so happy to have someone help me this time.

The minute we made it to shore, I felt that shooting pain again. They were having sex again. This time, New Luna let me see what she was experiencing and that threw me over the edge. Their rabbit sex and the sudden pain became unbearable as I blocked her.

My mate.

The one I gave my heart to.

The one that mended my heart and promised to guard it.

He promised to protect me as I promised to protect him.

He was putting me through exactly what Percy did and he knew it!

Who was I kidding? He was compelled to be this way. To be evil and hate me but deep down I knew that it was all bullshit. The mate bond is supposed to fight it, to bring him closer to me.

I linked my grandfather to let him know where I was. Thankfully, he was home and he rushed to my aid. He carried me to the car and rushed me to hospital where they told me I was in labor.

I gave birth to a healthy baby boy, even though he was a month early. I still couldn't reach Max to let him know about the birth of his first born son and his new Luna ignored my pleas to notify him of his

son's arrival.

"What's going on Sabrina?" My grandfather asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked but I knew what he meant. Max wasn't here. I had lost weight and I didn't look good.

He gave me a stern look and I caved. I told him everything.

I told him of how Max let me starve. How I went hunting in human form because they wouldn't bring me food in the house I was staying in all alone. How I had slept in the woods from exhaustion after my hunt. How nobody came looking for me when I was sleeping outside in the cold. I told him that's when it dawned on me that I was alone in this. Max didn't care but being the fool that I am, I never lost hope in the mate bond. Clearly I haven't learnt anything from what Percy put me through.

"Oh little moon.." My grandfather said kissing forehead. "You've been through all of that all this time? I'm so sorry we were so caught up in our lives to notice." He said as his eyes glistened. He pulled me in for a hug.

"I lied. I just couldn't let you guys see that I've failed yet again with another mate. Not until I can break the mind control over Max.." I say but my grandfather shakes his head.

"The mate bond would eventually push him towards you. He's doing this all on his own." My grandfather said. He looked upset. He sat by my side as that revelation sinked in and I broke down. He comforted me until I didn't have any more tears to cry.

The doctor came in not long after to ask my grandfather to give me space so I can rest my body. He left and said he would get the family here as soon as possible ignoring my protest at alerting them of my situation. The lactation nurse came in, helped with the release of my breastmilk and my baby's latching and left me to bond with my little one.

I was so engrossed in the moment. Watching my baby boy, I brought this little pup in to the world, that I didn't catch his scent. The scent of the one I loved. He strode right in and stopped in front of me.

My heart skipped a beat at seeing how good he looked. He wasn't suffering like I was. No.

He cleared his throat as if knowing what I was thinking. Making sure he had my attention.

"From this moment, you are banished from Green Forrest Pack. You are never to set foot in it ever again. I reject you as my Luna and chosen mate. I reject that demon child. Goodbye Kimberley." He said to me. Before he could turn around and walk away from me for good, I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me. We locked eyes and I saw everything.

I saw new uncle manipulating his thoughts. I saw the pack persuading him to leave me. His friends, hating on me but the most heartbreaking of it all, I saw that he wasn't manipulated to take a new mate. He wasn't manipulated to leave me. The resentment towards me was purely from his own mind and not manufactured. He hated me.

I let go of his hand.

I can't force a man that wants nothing to do with me to stay by my side. My grandfather was right. The mate bond would've snapped him out of mind control and deep down I knew that. This new revelation crushed me. Dumped.

Again!

"Finally man enough to break up with me in person? Took you long enough to find the words." I said to him. He didn't respond. He just looked at me for some time.

"Take it all in. This is the last time you see this face." I say and he blushed although quickly remembered his hate for me.

He stormed out of the room right after.

Goddess Why me?

________________________________________

After spending a week in hospital because my son was born prematurely, we were finally discharged and my father and Cj came to pick me up. None of them mentioned Max or his pack. I was grateful grandfather told them the news because I don't think I'd be able to tell them without breaking down. I was already drained and all cried out. I've tried and tried numerous times to heal the mark on my neck but nothing.

When we got home, everyone was there.

Josey and her mates, Nana came too. Arianna greeted me at the door. We all walked up to my room and found it completely changed. It was baby proofed and they connected the next room to mine. They turned the other room into a nursery and it was beautiful. Although I couldn't bring forth the tears as they were reserved for my nights thinking about Max, this warmed my heart.

Once I was all settled, uncle Deacon walked in to my room. Surprised? Most definitely. He wasn't brainwashed but he is Max's father so I don't know. I just thought he'd stand by his son.

"I come in peace Sabrina. I'm just here to see my grandson and I'll be gone." He said. I nodded my head and he walked up to me and the little one.

When the baby locked eyes with him, a tear drop fell out of his eye. Uncle Deacon never cries.

"I'm so sorry Sabrina. I don't know what's gotten into my son but I promise to fix it. You know I don't blame you for what transpired right? You are just a kid! How could you have prevented it!? I'm going to fix this!" He said to me with the utmost determination.

"Oh uncle Deacon, he made it clear where him and I stand. I'm not going to stick around like a lost puppy. This time I will take that rejection and move on without holding on to hope. Last time, I chose to leave when Percy broke my heart but I still carried a torch for him. This time, I was kicked out. I know when I'm not welcome and I'm not about to force my way back in." I said to him.

"I need my grandson in my life. At least allow me to be a part of it." He said. I nodded my head.

"You are family. I will not deny you that right." I say to him as I let him hold my baby boy that I haven't named yet.

To be honest I was struggling to name him. This was the boy they said would be king but look at the circumstances he's brought into. Hated before he can even defend himself from his own father. A mother that failed at giving him a home with both parents. I couldn't bring myself to name him.

"Thank you Sabrina. Let me leave you to it. Please call me if you ever need anything." He says.

"And I'm sorry I wasn't around these past months. If I had known what my son was doing to you, I would've kicked his ass." He says. I chuckle lightly.

We both know there was nothing he could do. I'm just lucky I'm stronger than Max because with the hate he had for me, it was only a matter of time before he got violent.

He places baby boy in his bassinet and gives me one final hug.

Uncle Deacon left. It was just me and the baby. My reality.

In human terms, I'd be a teen mom. A single parent. A teenager.

How was I ever going to do this? My father stayed with my "human mother" even when his pack shunned her yet my mate couldn't. He himself harbored so much hate and spent a few days pretending

with me until he couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't swallow that betrayal. He pretended to still want me even when he knew of his feelings.

Do you know what the worst of it all is?

That he hates his own son because of me. How do I not blame myself!?

They say I am blessed by the goddess herself but all these gifts have brought so much heartache! I can't catch a break from it. I'm strong and powerful but for what? I saved so many lives and if my nana wasn't so vague about the war, I would've prevented it before my pack members were killed but somehow I'm being blamed for all of it. I didn't ask to be gifted these powers. My son didn't ask to be born and become the king witches seem to think he will be. I just wanted a normal life where I meet my mate, we fall in love and walk towards the sunset but we all know....

The moon goddess loves a plot twist.

I've just dealt with so much heartbreak in a short space of time. First Percy then my stepmom. Then my mother getting killed by my so called uncle and my nana allowing it by doing nothing. Then losing Max and feeling him love another. Then to hear him call the child we both created when we made love, when I gave him my innocence, a demon child. How much more was I to take before I break?

Or was I broken already?

Can I even feel anything right now?

The weather took a dark turn as what was supposed to be a bright sunny day, turned into gray clouds and lightning. It took Josey and Cj coming in to my room and hugging me that I realized I caused that. It was when their hug warmed my heart and the skies cleared that I knew it was my doing.

But how?

I walked away from my siblings embrace and crawled into bed next to my son. I wasn't ready to find out I had yet another power. I know that if I was in fact gifted more powers, then danger was lurking. Right now, I couldn't deal with that.

I switched on the telly and got to watching some cartoons. Josey and Cj sat with me, in silence. They knew exactly what I needed at the time and I was grateful for that. Right now, all I needed was to not feel a thing. Just feel numb, just for a few days before I try to move on with my life.

One thing I knew for sure was that I was done with mates. I was done with men. From now on, I was doing me. Yes I will raise my son but love will take a backseat. I have burn marks to prove I tried and failed.

Now it was time to do me. I'm over saving people only for them to turn on me. I'm done using my powers for good. These powers were mine and I will only use them to protect me and my son. That's it.

I am done playing hero.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my savage girl thoughts. A familiar scent coming with it and the door opened.

In walked Percy looking better and fitter than when he was imprisoned. Living with humans has been clearly beneficial.

Josey and Cj scrambled out of my room but left the door open. Obviously so they can wait outside and listen in. I chuckle at the thought.

"Sabrina..." Percy says to me. The tone laced with longing.

"Hello Percy." I said back to him.

"What brings you here?" I ask.

He walks closer to my bed and sits on the edge.

"I've come to win you back." He says to me.