Chapter 10 My Whole Life Was Dictated
When they left, everything was gone.
The house was so empty… there was nothing left. The space was so big.
It was almost past eight in the evening. Anna Maria had left for her home. Her granddaughter needed her help in something.
I walked upstairs only to be greeted with emptiness once again. There was no sofa, no table, no plant pots, vases, photo frames… there was nothing.
My bed was gone too. So I had no idea where I was going to sleep tonight either. All I was left with was the photo of my parents and me, the frames were taken off though.
The dress that I was wearing since the morning was the only dress I had left Everything else was taken away.
My dead father had sold me away… he had sold everything before he vanished from the face of the earth.
I sprinted towards the kitchen in search of any food but got nothing. As there was no good. There was no grocery either. Nor that I knew to cook either.
Like a ghost, I was roaming around the mansion all by myself, having nothing to do at all.
Now that I was alone and no one to talk to, I could sense how my life was. It was totally depressing at that point.
I knew that I should probably go to Josh’s place but I just could not bring myself to do it.
He being my fiance, had not called or texted me once after that last text he had sent me. It was like he did not care about me at all.
I knew that he was not in love with me or anything of that sort but he really did not care about me and that thought was disturbing… very disturbing to me at the moment.
I could not help and think about why and how I had spent my entire life, training to be that man’s wife someday… only a year later from now.
Not to mention, my family had made me do everything that made me shaped like the perfect glamorous housewife I would be.
I had no ambitions… because it was not going to change my future. My future was planned, it was decided way before even I could have a say in it or understand the word ‘future’ alone.
As I walked down the lobby, I could not help and feel so unimportant, dependent to the point that I could not survive without them, powerless till I could not even defend my self-esteem.
I remembered the day of my birthday and engagement how Josh insulted me with the ‘slut’ word when I was far… very far from it.
If it were to be another woman in my place, they probably would have broken up with Josh a long time ago.
But I… I could not do that. I had no option but to follow whatever they asked me to do. I was raised to be the most feminine, obedient, and submissive type of girl.
Thinking about all that, I now at the very moment felt nothing but hatred for my dead parents who were married just yesterday.
I had forced myself not to think otherwise all the time. To think that they had everything planned out for me and it would be fine… everything would just work out but well it did not.
My father was not the ideal type. He was the money-throwing type. All he ever cared for was his company and his reputation in society.
He did not care about how I felt. He never took it into consideration and that was what explained his action regarding him arranging my marriage to the Harrington heir when I was just six years of age.
He saw me nothing more than a vessel who would carry the heir of the two most eligible companies in the future.
And I would lie if it did not hurt me before. It always did. I just pretended to not care, ignore it as much as possible.
I would try to look past his flaws with the materialistic things he would buy me. Sooner than later, I got obsessed with it, forgetting the real motive of my life.
My mother… she was a sweet loving lady with a sense of perfection in her own way. She was a well-respected woman in society.
Mother had no problem dealing with my father’s nonchalant, discriminating behavior for she had gone through the same shit in her young age.
She told me how the male figures of families like us, were dominating, commanding, and always saw women as nothing more than their pets to play with.
She had a hard time coming to terms with how her father, my grandpa wanted her to be. He was planning her to marry off to some rich men in exchange for business and there came my daddy.
Although she said, he was different than her father. He was more open and loving and my mother felt as if marrying him was not that bad at all.
She even said that when I was born, he was not disappointed. He adored me and loved me as his first child but everything changed when my mother lost the inability to give birth again.
It was the turning point of my life.. including theirs as their marriage never remained the same after that.
To some extent right then, I could not help and blame my mother for letting father do whatever he wanted and thought was right for me.
She led him on and supported his every cruel decision just like the one that clearly meant for me to being sold to the Harrington’s.
I was not naive but I had to be. I knew things but I had to pretend and act like I did not know.
Fighting with them that time felt like useless since I was so dependant on them.
Now fast forward to my future without them, I would be dependant on Josh forever.
My life felt like it was dictated to me and I made no attempts in changing it in any possible way at all.