My Best Friend’s Brother

It involuntarily makes me bite my lips because I want to taste that flavor more.

I appreciate it when she breaks contact with me because I’m thinking about doing so many things with her now that it will be hard to control if she doesn’t leave soon.

And I hate that when she walks past me, I close my eyes as soon as I smell her perfume. I don’t recognize myself anymore.

…

As I walk through the front door, Julie looks at me curiously and says:

”Wow! You’re a little late for breakfast!”

I greet Brennan, sitting on the couch, watching something on TV, and head towards the kitchen where she is preparing something for lunch, which smells incredible.

I give her a quick kiss while saying good morning. And she turns to me suspiciously. I hold my hands up in the air and say:

”I just had a lovely night, that’s all!”

She winks at me and says:

”And by the looks of it this morning too!”

I roll my eyes as I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and head for my room.

Everything was going so well until I found Molly.

… Molly…

I wake up and look at the clock, and it’s 6:00 in the morning. Why the hell did I wake up so early on a Saturday?

Since this happened, I get up as quietly as possible so as not to wake up Collin, who is sleeping like an angel.

I want to forget what I did because I know what I did was very wrong, and Colin doesn’t deserve this. I take a deep breath. I will think of many ways to make it up to him.

But I stare at him for a while longer, and I have to decide whether or not to tell him what happened between Chris and me if I want this horrible feeling to come out of me.

I tidied up the kitchen because it looked like Chantal was here hours later, cooked something, and left all this mess. I know she would clean up today, but I’m not doing anything anyway, and cleaning up this mess might shed some light on what I should do.

To tell Colin or not to tell Colin.

When I finish cleaning up, I realize it is almost ten in the morning. I spent preparing the coffee and decided to go to the bakery to get something to eat.

I wear jeans and a sweatshirt because I know it is cold outside. I go to the bedroom to check if Colin is still asleep. Everyone else is still asleep except me. I take a deep breath, gather my keys, grab my wallet, put on my headphones, and head toward the exit.

I walk a few steps down the hall and wait a few seconds for the elevator. As soon as it opens, I stop my impatient stare at my dancing feet and look forward because there is someone there. Someone I didn’t expect to meet today, someone I didn’t want to meet today, Chris.

We stare at each other half-unresponsively.

He then breaks the silence by saying:

”Hi.”

I answer:

”Hi.”

I wish that my heart hadn’t suddenly frozen and was now racing like this.

Guilt makes one go out of control because seeing him now reminds me of every detail of yesterday.

I look at Chris’s lips, which are now biting like they do when he is anxious. He looks into my eyes and makes me remember where they were last night. Every part of my body, where Chris’s lips have been, is burning.

I take a deep breath and divert my eyes from his as I get into the elevator, and he also passes me, already heading towards his apartment. The door closes, and I let my head fall back behind me. I have to tell Collin everything, and I need to have peace again.

… Chris…

As soon as I arrive at the bar, I run into Adan. I had no plans to go out after all I drank last night, but staying home isn’t one of the best ideas in the world either.

…

”Are you going out with her?”

I point my eyes in Danya’s direction. He looks calmly at her and then nods his head in agreement:

”She’s kind of hot.”

I end up laughing. Then I say:

”You better not mess with her. Who will make our drinks?”

He laughs. But I know this is just going to be another night for him.

…

Danya comes up to us and says her shift is over. I guess that’s their cue to leave quietly for wherever Adan is taking this girl. They say goodbye, and I sit by the counter as usual.

Adan even wanted me to go out with them, with some girl he would surely get, but I preferred staying here. It’s after two in the morning, and I’ll be leaving soon.

I keep talking to the redheaded girl Danya asked to cover her shift. She is interesting, but the ring on her right-hand looks even more so. Then we talk about Los Angeles because her dream is to study and live there.

”So, there’s this neighborhood there, and it’s pretty quiet in terms of…”

But I don’t even finish my sentence because someone ends up holding my shoulder and turning me around so I can stand up.

I only see Colin’s angry eyes, and when I try to understand what is happening, he punches me in the left corner of my mouth. I took a few steps back, and I wasn’t expecting this.

I raise my eyes in his direction. He still looks furious. I raise my hand toward him, asking him to calm down, but he says:

”I’m not going to calm down, goddamn it, you bastard!”

He steps toward me, but someone is holding him by the arms.

I say:

”Look, man, I don’t know what’s going on….”

But he interrupts me:

”Oh, yes, you do! You know damn well, you asshole!”

Then I realize that he knows everything that has happened. And I’m not angry that he knows because it doesn’t matter to me.