Christian’s POV
Christian
I got back to the ward with a white nylon which had fruit and salad in it. I walked to the empty bed and dropped the nylon on the seat calling out her name.
“Mandy,” I said, walking in the direction of the restroom. I knocked on the door and after a few seconds, I yelled I was coming in and pushed the door open slowly.
“Mandy?” I called again to welcome the emptiness of the place.
“Where did she go?” I questioned inwardly and left that place walking out of the ward. I got outside and immediately pulled a nurse who passed by questioning her.
“I asked her to wait for you until you return,” she responded calmly, and I looked at her in disbelief.
“What do you mean you asked her too? I told you all to watch over her,” I yelled, my voice echoing and everyone on that floor turned around to stare at the both of us but I didn’t care.
“You need to calm down Mr. Christian,” she paused and used her hand to indicate the exhale and inhale process but I wasn’t having it.
“What do you mean by” I should calm down? ” I can’t find my wife, whom I specifically left under your care and asked you to please watch over her,” I half yelled and she moved backward frightened.
“Please sir, I’ll help you check the room again,” She passed a smile and started to walk towards her ward, but I knew that was a terrified one and she showed me.
“Who is in charge here? Who runs this place,” I exhaled and asked like a totally insane person immediately she came back looking for her to no avail…
“I’m sorry, maybe she ran off somewhere to get some fresh air,” she added and glared at her, walking in all directions, calling out Mandy’s names in an attempt to find her.
I was terrified, I felt my body tremble as different thoughts crossed my mind. Did she do it again? Did she do something worse? Is she okay? Where are you? These are all the questions that crossed my mind at that moment and my heart raced as the minute went by and she wasn’t found.
I brought out my cell phone and started to dial her line but it took me directly to voicemail which made me curse under my breath.
“Sir? Sir! What’s going on here?” A doctor rushed to us and I immediately turned to him, ranting out in frustration.
“You do realize whose wife she is, and if I don’t find her, be sure to know I will be suing this hospital, ” I said, meaning every word I said.
“We will handle everything, Please calm down, and let’s check the footage,” the older doctor suggested and I looked at him and nodded my head immediately.
“Lead the way,” I instructed them immediately as that suggestion was like the little hope I needed.
I kept calling her number over and over again, as I followed them to the office where they kept all the CCTV footage.
The doctors spoke to the people in charge and explained the situation to them trying to describe my wife. I immediately stepped in and helped them with what she wired and the bandages to her body structure.
I even tried to recall the time I left her in the ward before going out, and they immediately started to type in some data on their keyboard while I waited anxiously.
“There she is,” one whispered and pulled away, and I rushed immediately, going to stare into the screen. He was right. I watched her talk with a nurse and sit on the shell chair. But immediately the nurse left and she immediately walked out of the hospital instead of going back to her room.
“Fuck,” I cursed and rubbed my hair confused.
“What is wrong with her?” “Where is she going ?” I thought to myself, sighing heavily.
“Do you have cameras outside the hospital?” I questioned looking at them with desperation but even I knew that was fairly impossible.
“We do not. Just only around the entrance,” he said just like I had thought. “Damnit,” I said under my breath.
“Thank you very much Doctor, but if you hear anything from her, or see her around, give me a call,” I dropped my card and walked out of the room ignoring their whispers.
“Where are you, Mandy? Why are you doing this to us? Why are you hurting Riley and me,” I hit my Sterling wheels and drove home, angry, worried, and sad. I got my emotions all over the place and right now I don’t know which to feel or which is proper to feel.
“Christian?” Mandy’s mom rushed to me immediately and I walked into the living room.
“How is she doing?” She said immediately but I couldn’t utter a word at first so I slumped on the sofa and let a tear drop from my eyes.
I don’t know how long I can be strong, or act like a man, and pretend like nothing is happening or I’m not affected by it. Because right now this shit is killing me, it’s weighing me down and I don’t know for how long I can take it.
“Christian,” my mother rushed to me and gave Riley who was asleep to Mandy’s mom as she looked at me with concern wrapping her hands around mine.
“What’s going on? Did something happen? ” Her voice was calm. She nudged me a bit with her shoulders, making me release a deep breath as I took my head off the sofa and turned to look at her.
“Everything is a mess,” I looked at her. I could feel my eyes water, but I raised my head back up to stop myself from shedding any more tears.
“Is Mandy okay?” She looked back at Mrs Rogers and paused before turning back at me.
“I can’t find her,” I said with a heaved breath. I felt my chest hurt and for a few seconds I found it hard to breathe like my lungs had failed me.
“What do you mean?” Mrs. Rodgers asked in a broken tone. And I looked over my mother with the sadness in my eyes as I fell on her body like a little child, letting myself feel, letting the tears roll out.
“I couldn’t find her, she just left?” I burst out on her crying like a little boy, while she patted my body and rubbed my hair.
“It’s going to be okay” she whispered to me, and as much as I wanted to believe her, it didn’t feel like it at all.
“Why is she doing this to me? Why is she abandoning her child? Why is she doing this to me, to us?” I cried even more, my chest hurting harder in the process as the tears rolled down my eyes while my mother tried to calm me down.
“Mandy wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t run from any responsibility,” her mom stood on her feet denying my words.
“We have to find her, Mandy Something’s wrong, but I’m sure the daughter I gave birth to wouldn’t leave her child,” She looked at us, shaking her head but immediately she didn’t get any response, She fell back on the sofa and her grip tighten around Reily for just a moment, before the tear fell.
“She wouldn’t, right? Mandy does not have a breakdown. She’s my strong girl. She’s my strong girl,” she shook her head repeatedly as she cried saying those words and that was exactly how I saw her.
That was the woman I met and married, even if I had seen her be vulnerable, cried to me, and had an anxiety attack. I was scared, but Mandy knew how to manage things, she knew how to keep going and pushing, and right now watching her be this person, watching her break down like this and become this whole other person scared me.
I blame myself for not noticing, I blame myself for thinking that she could manage on her own. That she could find her way out of this hurt and come back fine.
“It’s all my fault. If only I had looked closely at her and noticed she was pretending to be fine. If I had noticed it was killing her so much, if only I put myself in her shoes and they to understand what she felt or what that list meant to her, maybe then this wouldn’t have happened, ” I thought to myself and pulled away from my mom, exhaling and trying to stop myself from tearing up.
“It’s all my fault,” I voiced out immediately, the sadness that washed over me immediately I said that out loud, hurt way more than saying it in my head…
“No baby it’s not. You were in pain too just like Mandy. Don’t put this on you,” she corrected immediately, rubbing my hands and shaking her head to dispute that thought.
“I am supposed to pay attention to her, to watch her to protect her, and be with her. But you failed. I didn’t notice, I didn’t try to check up, Instead, I yelled,” I whispered as a tear dropped while recalling our conversation.
“Everything’s going to be fine, I promise you, Mandy’s going to come home and we will get the police and all the boys involved in finding her okay,” she assured me, using her thumb to clean my tears.
“I’m so scared,” I whispered, and immediately she pulled me in for a hug. I pulled away and brought out my phone trying to call her again but it kept taking me directly to voicemail.
“Damnit,” I rubbed my forehead frustrated as I continued to dial it again, using her mom’s number, my mom’s too but all of it went straight to voicemail.
“Relax, maybe switch off her phone to get a second to herself,” her mom touched my shoulder and gave it a light squeeze while she forced a smile on her lips.
*
A few hours later after forcing myself to eat something, I was in our room spending time with my baby when my phone beeped and immediately I pulled it out I noticed the ID.
“Mandy,” I whisper, holding Reily’s hand from the cot while I tap on the message.
“I’m sorry for going away like this, but I just wanted time alone. I just wanted to breathe new air, I’ll be back soon baby,” I read and immediately my hand fell off the cot while I stared at the message with mixed emotions.
“What does this mean? She’s taking a break from us? Is she leaving us? How should I feel about this,” So many thoughts crossed my mind after that text, and I couldn’t tell if it made things better knowing that she was alright or made it worse that she didn’t want to be around me again…
“Sir Christian,” I heard a knock on the door, making me close my eyes to exhale and stop me from thinking she left us already.
“Come in,” I said and the maid walked into the room.
“There’s a lady downstairs who wants to see you,” she said and bowed while I looked at her confused.
“Who is she?” I immediately carried Riley from the cot and placed her on my arm.
“She didn’t say,” she responded.
“Do I tell her to wait?” She asked but I waved my hands and dismissed her instead. I walked out of my room with Riley in my arms when I climbed down the stairs and walked to the waiting room where I stood there in shock, staring at her holding flowers and looking around nervously.
“Amelia?” I called out in shock and immediately she turned to me with a smile…
“What is she doing here?” I question myself…