Mated to the Wilde Bear

Chapter 22: Laurel

Mack’s Brewery was loud and full of locals by the time Laurel pulled up with Xavier. He found a parking spot in the rear of the lot, away from the other cars and patrons. She cast him a quick look when he didn’t move to get out and found him frowning at her in the twilight. His chiseled jaw and toned arms were taut as he studied her. She was struck again at how beautiful he really was. And nothing like the rumors claimed. Wild, yes, but not in the way they said. Xavier’s emotions ran wild, and he did everything he could to keep that part of himself locked away. She knew because she did the same.

But now, seeing the concern in his eyes only made her want to reassure him, even if it meant letting her walls down. Baring herself was getting easier and easier with him.

“What is it?” she asked.

“You tell me,” he said. “You’ve been quiet and distant since we left the Lodge.”

“Your bear wants a mate,” she said, her voice low. But it didn’t help lessen the impact. The words felt huge and loud at any volume.

“It does,” he said simply, but she knew it was anything but simple. “Does it frighten you to know that?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “But only because my animal wants the same.” She watched the delight register in his eyes and then fade again as a shadow passed over. Just as she’d expected. “You’re still hiding something from me.”

He stared out the windshield with a faraway look, at the trees that bordered the lot. She wondered if he was even seeing the bar full of happy hour customers in front of them or if he’d gone somewhere else entirely. She’d seen that expression on him enough by now to know whatever the memory was, and it haunted him.

“You know I used to party a lot,” he said, and she was too surprised he was actually sharing to say a word. She wasn’t sure if he saw her nod, but he went on anyway. “All the rumors are true. Hell, the truth is probably worse. I drank a lot, and I was always the one suggesting a bonfire in the middle of the drought, a midnight swim in dark water, drag racing in an ice storm.”

He chuckled darkly and shook his head. “I always guessed one of my dumb dares would do me in, but in the end, she was just a girl. And I was just a guy wanting what every guy wants.”

She reached for him and laid her hand over his lap. “Xavier, you don’t have to—”

He laid a hand over hers and looked over. “I need to,” he said, and the exposed cut of his words made her heart ache for him.

“She and I were out by the lake one night, too far from any tower for proper reception. I’d begun working for Search and Rescue the summer before so I knew the drill. I was on call. I should never have driven up that far, but she was ready, and I was far too willing and distracted. Hormones. Anyway, a call came in. A brutal ice storm on the peaks the day prior and the melt on such a warm day had caused a slide. A woman was trapped. When Dad couldn’t reach me, he went up alone. He never made it back.”

“God, Xavier.” Laurel couldn’t find the words. She hurt for him, for the guy he was then and the mistake. The guilt, probably. And she finally understood his reluctance with her. She squeezed his hand.

Xavier cleared his throat. “He and the woman both died that night while I had a mediocre lay with a girl I never spoke to again.”

“I’m so sorry for you. Losing your dad that way… That must have been awful.” And the guilt… that was what haunted him now. “Thank you for sharing that with me,” she told him, touched.