Married to the mafia boss Series

PROLOGUE

Arabella

My entire body aches with despair when I wake up realizing I am, once again, alone in my bed.

It’s been a year since my second husband died at the hand of my cousin. I’ve never been more happy, or more free. Being married to Luca, although it was for a short time, it was the worst period of my life.

I turn over and stare at the photo frame standing on my bedside table. It’s mine and Vinny’s wedding picture. We were engaged when I was seventeen but didn’t marry until my eighteenth birthday. I was scared of marrying a man I didn’t know, but I have always easily accepted this life. I always knew what was expected of me as a daughter to the mafia.

I didn’t know it then but the next four years were the happiest I’ve ever been. Vinny was like all Men of Honor in the mafia, he was ruthless, violent and incapable of love, but he was my best friend. We spent many nights joking around and laughing, and many nights fucking. Life wasn’t perfect, but it was okay.

I got pregnant relatively quick and I didn’t want to be nineteen-year-old mother, but I also never wanted a miscarriage. Vinny stayed away a lot that year, I don’t think he knew how to deal with his feelings or the grief.

When I turned twenty Vinny said it was time to have kids. I was scared for another miscarriage, but my husband assured me I had nothing to worry about. He was wrong. I had another miscarriage and after that all other attempts to get pregnant were negative.

Vinny wasn’t mad with me, I think he blamed himself. He tried to let go of the notion of having a baby and focused on his work. Along with my cousins, Antonio and Rocco, Vinny was one of Lorenzo’s best soldiers. Many of the days I spent in our apartment were spent alone, but I always had the night to look forward to.

The one constant I could always hold on to was he’d be home at night and that’s when we would play pretend. We would pretend we were in love with each other and make love and kiss like all lovers do. Then when we finished, we would sleep. Sometimes I would stay awake and watch him sleep. His long brown eyelashes rested on his cheeks, his mouth parted as he breathed through his mouth and snored slightly. His strong, bare, muscular chest would rise and fall at a steady pace. I would often wonder what he dreamed about.

I never felt trapped, never wanted more. I liked my routine and I liked my Vinny. When Antonio and Rocco came to my door wearing solemn faces I knew something was wrong. You don’t realize how much your life revolves around a person until they’re gone. You don’t realize the true extent of their presence and how much they really mean to you until they are no longer a part of your every day.

I miss the smell of his cologne, his smooth torso, his light brown eyes, his large hands, his smile and his dimple. His everything.

But most of all, I miss his friendship.

**********

CHAPTER ONE

Arabella

My goddaughter is quite possibly the cutest thing in all of existence. I love going over to Antonio and Liliana’s penthouse to babysit Viola. Carmelo stays back because there’s no need to be Liliana’s bodyguard when she has her husband and the Chicago Don on her arm.

Carmelo has taken his own fondness toward Viola. I see the big goofy grins he makes when he thinks I’m not looking. Carmelo would lay down his life for this little girl and so would I. It’s moments like that when Carmelo and I have the place to ourselves, we’re watching a baby and then go fuck in the guest bedroom when she’s down for a nap, that it feels like I’m once again playing house.

With Vinny it was playing husband and wife who love each other. Carmelo and I play excited and horny parents.

After we would fuck I would rest my head on Carmelo’s chest and listen to his heart beat. His fingers would trail up and down my spine giving me goosebumps. I like Carmelo, I like having no strings attached sex with him, but I don’t know if I could love him. At least not in a way that would be acceptable for the mob. Father would kill me for marrying below my station.

But who would want me?

After two husbands no one would want me. Rumor has already spread I can’t have children. I don’t know how and I was close to blaming Liliana, but I know Luca suspected and he must’ve told his soldiers who couldn’t keep their big mouths shut. Other rumors have also spread and they’ve even gone as far as to call me, The Cursed Widow

I will die a widow I’m sure of it, but it’s moments like playing house with Carmelo, that life seems more than okay. I love laying on top of Carmelo, I love the after-bliss from my orgasm, and I never thought I’d say this… but I love Viola’s cries that cause us to get out of bed.

Now I understand why so many women want to be domesticated.

Well at least for a short period time I understand why. After a few hours or on rare occasion, a full day, I’m glad that Viola isn’t mine and that I can hand her off to her parents. It’s exhausting playing pretend-mother. I do miss the warm body underneath me though. The Old Spice scent coming off of Carmelo reeks of masculinity and his strong hands on my back make me feel protected and safe.

I love playing pretend. I love playing Mommy and Daddy.

The thing about pretend is it’s an escape from reality and me being a mother and a wife is no longer a possibility of reality for me. No one wants to marry The Cursed Widow. So, for now pretend-play is nice.

Mother insisted I move back in after Antonio hinted that I should find my own place. I am crushed to be leaving my cousin’s penthouse, but I know I had to go. They have a family which I’m not a part of and I get it. I didn’t want to move back home though. It’s exactly why my siblings moved out as soon as they turned eighteen.

My eldest brother, Lazzaro, went to Italy as soon as he graduated high school. My grandfather is still in Italy working his own operations in the mafia and rumor has it my brother is the one to take over when he dies. So, Lazzaro left at eighteen to learn the business and whatever else that entails.

My second eldest sibling, Domenico or Nico as I call him, left to help run New York as their Consigliere.

Third eldest, my sister Christina, had little choice in the matter of her life. She was forced to marry the Don of Las Vegas’ Underworld. He is three times her age and they have two sons. I’ve only seen them at their baptisms, other than that I don’t have much contact with my sister or nephews.

Father is so proud of his three kids, he was once proud of me too for marrying Vinny. Then I was a failure for my miscarriages, a failure because my husband died and left me a widow, a failure because my second husband who was Don of Boston-a powerful man-also died. A failure because Luca left me without an heir to take over Boston and rendered me, once again, powerless. Now no one will ever marry me and I am just an asset mooching off his money with no job, no education, no kids, and no power.

Rocco offered for me to stay at his penthouse, which is just a few buildings down from Antonio’s. I happily accepted the offer and I know he can take care of me just fine. Father will be happy too because I won’t be a burden at his house.

Rocco’s penthouse is just as spacious as Antonio’s. It has a slew of guest bedrooms and I had fun figuring which one would be the best fit for my bedroom. I feel happy and free and Rocco has very little rules which I enjoy. What I don’t enjoy is the sound of girls moaning at night.

I pull my robe over my shoulders and tie it at my waist before storming across the hall to pound of his door. “Can you at least be a little quieter?” I shout.

I can hear Rocco and his woman giggle before my cousin opens the door shirtless, his chest slick with sweat. “Sorry, cousin, we’re just having a little fun,” he says out of breath.

“Well, I would like to get a good night’s rest. Liliana and Antonio want me over early to babysit Viola.”

“You’ve been babysitting a lot,” he crosses his arms.

“She is my goddaughter and I like babysitting. Besides, Liliana and Antonio deserve a day to go out to breakfast or do whatever they do.”

“We will try to be more quiet,” Rocco looks over his shoulder and smirks. “Goodnight,” he sings while slowly closing the door.

“Asshole,” I mutter under my breath before heading back to my room to look for my noise canceling headphones I know I have somewhere.

***

I wake up to the sound of shooting. A gloved hand is over my mouth and fear runs through my veins. I see two other men in black tip-toeing around my room.

Where is Rocco?

Fuck, I don’t want to die. I’m not ready to die yet.

Another man enters the room and immediately I think it’s the Bratva, but their accents tell me one thing. They’re from Boston.

Followers of my second husband?

What could they still want from me? They no longer follow Luca or Marco’s orders and last I know Angelo and I get along just fine.

“Kill her!” One of them spats. “She ruined our lives.”

I want to plead for my life but the gloved hand stays firmly over my mouth. They start to move me, one holding my legs while the other holding my mouth carries me by my armpits. The third walks ahead to make sure the hallway is clear

“Stupid bitch,” the one holding my mouth murmurs.

I hear a loud gunshot twice and my ears ring so loud that I hardly noticed I am now on the floor next to two bloody bodies.

I look up to see Rocco in his pajama pants holding his pistol. He rushes over to me and picks me up off the floor. “Are you okay?”

Nothing comes out of my mouth and I blink a few times still in shock. Rocco makes sure I’m able to stand before letting go of me to pull the ski masks of the two burglars.

“Joseph and Archie,” Rocco says quietly.

“W-Who are they?” I stammer.

“Marco’s right hand men. They’ve been missing since the night Liliana was kidnapped. Angelo, Antonio, and I have been trying to track them down for almost nine months now.”

“What could they want with me? What did I do?”

Rocco rummaged through the coats of the men to find a piece of paper with names on it. “Arabella, Liliana, Rocco, Antonio, Angelo.”

“A kill list?”

“Looks so,” he nods his head.

Everyone on that list had something against Luca or Marco. Liliana was the worthless daughter who Marco hated-thus they hated. Antonio killed Luca and Marco, Rocco helped in the matter. Angelo is the new Don, which surely they don’t like. And me, I’ve just been in the middle of it. Just another piece of the puzzle. Just another Moretti.

Ever since Marco was murdered along with Luca, the Bratva has been attacking less. There has been no one giving them tips on the warehouses and no more drug shipments intercepted. The Outfit has been growing stronger and the relationship ties between Boston and Chicago, since Angelo has taken over, has been getting tighter.

Marco, along with paying the Bratva, had paid a few close men to help him with his corrupt ways. He paid them quite a lot of money and that’s what pisses the remaining loyalist off. They’ve been in hiding since Marco’s death and they want revenge. They want their old paycheck. Their old Don.

Too bad for them, because it’s Angelo’s reign now.

Rocco takes out his phone and calls up a man to help take care of the bodies. Then he calls Antonio to tell him what just happened. I’m still shaking with adrenaline and shock.

“Where’s the third?” I look around.

“There was a third?” He puts his hand over the speaker of his phone. “Fuck. Samuel.” He puts the phone back to his ear and discusses with his brother that this Samuel guy is still on the loose.

I begin to pace the hallway; the smell of blood makes me want to vomit and I can’t stop my hands from trembling. My heart is beating fast out of my chest, so much that it feels like a mini heart attack.

“Don’t worry,” Rocco whispers. “It won’t happen again. I swear. I would’ve gotten to them in time but…” I know he is referring to the girl in his bedroom. He shakes his head like it’s no excuse. “Never again. It’s not safe for any of us now.”

***

Carmelo and Antonio arrive in record time. Carmelo has supplies in his hands and I realize he’s going to be disposing of the bodies. Antonio and Rocco talk low amongst themselves trying to figure out how they got in and where Samuel could be.

I’m too busy staring at Carmelo who sits down on the couch and looks over his supplies. He begins by putting on latex gloves first.

“I’ll contact your father and see if Leonardo will come watch you,” Antonio pulls out his phone and begins to dial a number.

“Please, no bodyguard,” I shake my head quickly. “You know how I feel about them.”

I never told my cousins what happened, but ever since Vinny died I made it quite clear how I felt about having someone stay with me and protect me. I threw tantrums and had a panic attacks so bad that Antonio let me stay with him until I could get back up on my feet.

I had bodyguards before I was married. My parents traveled a lot and someone needed to protect me and take me to places like school. My father assigned Leonardo to me when I was fourteen. Leonardo was one of Uncle Lorenzo’s soldiers. He was in his mid-thirties. He took me to school, to me to ballet lessons, took me wherever I needed to go. He also took other things I did not ask for and was too young… too afraid…

I shake my head. I always had Vinny to take care of me and in the short time that I was with Luca he only allowed me to stay inside his well-secured penthouse. In Antonio’s penthouse there was always Carmelo.

“Bella, you need a bodyguard. Leonardo knows you and he’s trustworthy and-” Rocco begins but I cut him off.

“No man in the mafia is trustworthy. They’re all cold hearted killers. I refuse!” I shout stubbornly.

“You had no problem with Carmelo watching you when you stayed with Antonio,” Rocco pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. “What’s the difference if Leonardo comes to stay for a while. Just until things are settled.”

“That’s because Carmelo is a friend. I know him and trust him!”

Carmelo shifts in his seat, his face turning slightly red from blushing.

“He’s a killer just like the rest of us!” Rocco waves his hand at Carmelo.

I cross my arms and turn my head away from him.

“I can do it,” Carmelo’s deep voice cuts through the silence.

“What?” Rocco, Antonio, and I say in unison.

“Arabella trusts me and I don’t mind looking after her,” Carmelo states.

Antonio rubs at the stubble on his chin and thinks. “Okay.”

My eyes widen in surprise. “What about Liliana?” I turn to face my cousin with my eyebrow raised.

“We have about four other bodyguards watching the apartment to protect both Liliana and Viola. They are well cared for by some of my best men. If what it takes to keep you safe is having Carmelo with you, then you can have him until the threat is over.”

***

“Mama, I’m alright,” I sigh while talking over the phone. “Rocco and Antonio are downstairs now and Carmelo is here too.”

“My Bella, you are still in danger. I can’t bear to think of something bad happening to you. You can still come home. Leonardo would be happy to guard you here.”

I gulp and my body begin to break out into hives. “No,” I choke out. Just hearing his name makes me cower and shudder in fear. “Please, tell Papa I’m fine. Rocco is taking good care of me here and Carmelo is my new bodyguard. He’s very good, he was Liliana’s.”

“Was?” My mother sounds taken back. “Was he fired from the job? If he can’t take care of the Don’s wife then he certainly can’t take care of my daughter!”

“Mama, please, no. Carmelo is a close friend of mine. I trust him with my life. Antonio just upped his security for Liliana and Viola. He kindly allowed one of his best soldiers to protect me. It was very nice of him to do so.”

“Well then make sure you thank your cousin. Thank him for me, too.”

“I will, Mama. Now, I have to go. It’s rude to be on the phone while guests are over.” Even though it isn’t. My cousins are too busy talking business to care that I’m on the phone with my mother. They’d prefer me not to bother them. My mother doesn’t need to know that though.

“Goodbye, Darling,” she says before hanging up.

I throw my phone and fall back onto my bed groaning. Talking with that woman is exhausting. She’s relentless, always has been.

I let my arm hang over my closed eyes and allow my mind to wander. I think of Liliana who always claimed me to be so bubbly and cheery. I was never that person. Well, never truly that person. Other people saw me as that, but on the inside I have always been slowly dying.

On my sixteenth birthday I started to cut myself. Christina moved out and got married to the Las Vegas Don leaving me alone with my parents and Leonardo. Everyone’s Sweet Sixteen should be special, parents buying their kids cars-at least mine should, my father is a Moretti which means he’s filthy rich. All I got that year was a cake, both my parents went to Italy to visit Lazzaro completely forgetting about my birthday. The maid and the cook didn’t forget which helped, but the one person I wished didn’t remember, also did.

Leonardo came into my room that night and wished me a happy birthday and did to me the same thing he did since I was fourteen. Only things escalated differently that time. Instead of just his fingers he experimented with his tongue. It felt awkward and horrible and what was worse he made me reciprocate. I choked and begged him to stop, but he continued to fuck my mouth until he was done. He left me alone to cry in my room.

He was my bodyguard until the day I married Vinny. I thought I would fear intimacy, but I just feared Leonardo. I feared bodyguards for one simple reason. It’s payment, Leonardo used to say. I believed him. Believed it was my duty to pay in such a crude manner. He told me all daughters of the mafia who had bodyguards were subjected to such things. The price of having a bodyguard was to be paid with one’s body.

After meeting Carmelo, I know it’s not true and what he did to me was unlawful. But I could never shake the fear, never shake the uneasy feeling I get whenever I’m introduced to a new soldier of the mafia.

Vinny made me forget and that’s when I eventually learned to live. I learned how to be happy in my own way, learned to get lost in my own world of pretend where life is flawless and no one wants to hurt me. A fantasy where Vinny loved me and when we shared a bed I was the only thing on his mind and he claimed my heart as much as I claimed his.

When I first met Carmelo he wasn’t a bodyguard. This was before Liliana. Carmelo grew up with Antonio, Rocco, Nico, and Lazzaro. They were all friends, all sons of powerful men. Well, Carmelo’s father was Lorenzo’s best soldier and enforcer. Carmelo was always sweet to me as a kid, so I knew him pretty well before I ever associated him with being a creepy bodyguard. He was also just Carmelo-the fresh faced boy with a kind soul I knew when I was just a little girl.

I’ve been around aggressive men my whole life. I know how to deal with it and suppress any discomfort or fear. I learned how to get by with a smile that claims nothing could ever bother me. I survived Leonardo and I survived Luca. People would think they broke me, but I refuse to be broken.

At least… I refuse to let people see that it has broken me.

A knock on the door startles me off my bed. I scramble to my feet and watch as the door creaks slowly open. A dark submitter of Carmelo’s massive body appears in the threshold.

“I just wanted to see if you’re doing okay.” He stands in the doorway but doesn’t enter my room.

“I’m fine,” I bite at my bottom lip. “Does it bother you that you’re my bodyguard now?”

His eyebrows press together in confusion. “No. Why would it?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, maybe you liked watching over Liliana and Viola or maybe you find it awkward given our history.”

He chuckles. “Given our history? You think just because we’ve fucked a handful of times I can’t do my job?” He questions. “And if I would’ve found it awkward I wouldn’t have suggested myself for the job.”

“Okay,” I nod my head and walk toward the door. I can hear Antonio and Rocco still talking downstairs. “How long do you think they’ll be?”

“Who knows,” he looks over his shoulder and down the hall perking his ear to eavesdrop. “Seems they’re still coming up with a plan, so I’d say awhile.”

“Then,” I grab his shirt and pull him close to me, “that means we have some time to kill,” I give him a lustful look.

Carmelo shakes his head and gently grabs my wrists pinning my arms back down to my sides. “No, I’m on duty. I’m here to protect you, not fuck you.”

“But,” I pout my lip, “but you fucked me many times in Antonio’s apartment when you were supposed to be watching Liliana.”

“You can be very distracting,” he mumbles in a grumpy tone.

“Come on, Rocco and Antonio are downstairs. They’re too busy and we can be quick.”

He looks as though he’s about to give in before he sighs and throws his head back. “You know I would love too, Arabella, but I can’t. Maybe later tonight.”

I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms over my breasts. “You do realize nighttime is when they broke in and attacked me. Nothing is going to happen in the daylight so you don’t need to be on high alert right now.”

He rubs harshly at his face. “You’re making this hard on me.”

“Fine,” I turn my back on him.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, but I should be watching you and doing my job.”

“It’s never stopped you before.”

“Fine, alright,” he caves and I jump up and down with happiness. I grab him by the shirt once again and pull him toward the bed. “But not today,” I let go shocked and confused. “Antonio and Rocco are downstairs and I won’t risk them catching us,” he explains, “They might need my help in coming up with a plan. Later,” he kisses my forehead. “I promise.”

I sulk as we walk downstairs into the living room. Antonio and Rocco seem agitated and on edge as they discuss plans on how to catch and kill all of Marco’s remaining loyalists. Carmelo sits with them and discusses his own ideas, I found the whole thing boring.

I decide to make myself a snack in the kitchen.

You can never go wrong with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When I was younger and my parents were out, I would occasionally be babysat by my older siblings. Lazzaro always made me a PB&J when I was starving. I guess you can say it’s my comfort food. It reminds me of my brother and how much I terribly miss him. It also reminds me of Vinny, too.

I was never much of a cook or a baker, but one thing my husband could always count on after a long day at work killing people, was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich made by me.

As I spread the jelly on one side of the wheat bread, Antonio startles me from behind causing me to jump. I drop the silver butter knife on the ground.

“Relax,” he crosses his arms. Antonio is dressed in casual wear, jeans and a white long sleeve button-up shirt. Most people would find it shocking, but I’ve known Antonio my entire life and I’ve seen him many times without his suit. When he is in his suit, it means business and usually means someone is about to die.

Antonio has always been a hard, serious kid. Rocco on the other hand is more of a jokester. I have always been closer to him than Antonio, but it may also be because Rocco is closer to me in age. When Antonio was initiated into the mob and became a Man of Honor, he went cold. When he started wearing suits it meant business. The expensive designer suits with gold cufflinks made all the girls drool, all the men envy, and all his enemies shudder in fear.

The suit symbolizes power and Antonio has a shit ton of it.

“I’m heading out. I’m going to the office and Rocco is going to monitor The Silver Shadow, he’ll be home later. Carmelo is one of my best soldiers, he’ll protect you so you won’t have to worry about the bastards touching you again.”

I nod my head and bite my lip. “Thank you, for allowing Carmelo to watch over me.”

Antonio shrugs. “I have multiple men watching Liliana and Viola at all times. It’s just a temporary situation until we get things under control with Marco’s men. Don’t worry about it. Liliana will want to see you soon, so make sure you visit.”

It’s weird seeing my cousin in love. I never thought the day would come, but it did and seeing him when he’s around his wife and daughter, he’s a new man. He smiles, laughs, and loves the two girls in his life with such fierceness it makes me long for a family of my own.

When Antonio holds his daughter in his arms, the man in the suit disappears and he becomes someone completely new.

“I’ll be sure to give her a call and schedule a date. I’m sure she’ll be missing Carmelo, too. We’re like a trio of best friends, you know,” I smile reminiscing.

Antonio nods his head being ever so distant. “Contact me if there’s an emergency or another break in and don’t leave without-”

“Without my bodyguard. Yes, Antonio, I know. There’s no need to worry,” I walk toward the elevator in the foyer and he follows me. I push the button and when the door opens and he slides in. I wave, “Bye, cousin.”

The elevator doors close and I practically sprint over to Carmelo and jump on him. His body tenses with surprise.

“We’re alone,” I kiss his neck.

“Christ, Arabella,” he nearly moans as his hands run along my torso.

I guess you can say I’m desperate. Desperate for attention, companionship, and definitely desperate for intimacy. Vinny was the man I gave my virginity to, I was scared but beyond ready. I heard girls at my school talk about fucking guys, sucking guys off, and guys eating them out and I envied every single one of them. Although I didn’t know Vinny for long, I knew he was handsome and I knew that I wanted to hurry up and lose it. You know what they say, it feels better after the second or third time.

And it did.

Vinny and I always set aside time to be with each other. It might not have been making love, but it was easy to pretend. Sometimes I liked it rough, I liked when he fucked me into oblivion. Vinny always had what I needed. We were each other’s sexual equals.

After Vinny, the next man I slept with was Carmelo. It happened the night Liliana walked in on us. She was upset over Antonio and binge watching her favorite old television show, M*A*S*H. We wanted to give her some space and besides there was nothing we could do to get through with her. She hardly talked or wanted to do anything. So, Carmelo and I conveniently found our way upstairs to my room.

Carmelo told me that it had been too long for him since he’d taken the job to watch Liliana twenty-four seven and I was, to simply put it, horny. I had dominated him and took the reins as I straddled his hips and rode him. We barely lasted long as we fucked with abandon. It happened five times after that.

Then I found out I was engaged. Luca, although handsome, was cruel. The wicked look in his eyes and the strength in the way he held himself made me shudder with fear. I didn’t want anything to do with him. A handsome face couldn’t convince me enough to be with a man as horrible as him. The ugliness on the inside was enough to repel me away. He took me by force, he took me rough to the point where it hurt. At least with Vinny and Carmelo I found release, with Luca it was done when he was done.

Antonio tortured my second husband and killed him. I had always dreamt of ways to kill him. I dreamed of putting arsenic in his morning coffee or stabbing him in his sleep. I feared killing him with Marco still alive would have him retaliate with war between Boston and Chicago. I didn’t want to put my cousin in danger because I was selfishly unhappy.

I’m free now.

But am I happy?