Loving You Too Long

Reia nodded, understanding Haisley’s stated reasons. She could only look at Haisley with a compassionate smile.

“Do you want a flat to rent alone, or are you open to sharing?” she asked again.

“Just a personal one if there’s any. I’m not used to living with strangers,” Haisley replied honestly. “And if possible, something affordable,” she added with a shy smile.

Reia nodded her head slowly. “Alright, I’ll ask the others. If there’s any information, I’ll let you know,” she promised. Haisley murmured her thanks. “But H, does Gilbert know about your plan?” she asked again.

Not out of curiosity, but to avoid problems with Gilbert if Haisley did all of this without his knowledge and Reia helped her. If that happened, Gilbert would be angry with Reia. And Reia didn’t want that. Haisley only nodded weakly, which Reia interpreted as a ‘yes.’ She felt more at ease now. Reia stood up and prepared to leave.

“Alright, I’ll update you later,” she said, patting Haisley’s arm before saying goodbye. “Get well soon, H,” she prayed sincerely. Haisley nodded her head again.

After Reia left, Haisley tried to go back to sleep, her mind occupied with thoughts of her upcoming move. She had lied to Reia and might have gotten her involved in a potential problem. Because Gilbert didn’t know about her plans. Her friend would surely not accept her decision so easily. But truly, Haisley couldn’t bear staying at that house any longer. She wouldn’t be able to handle seeing Loretta and Nathan’s interactions in the future. Because she knew she would feel jealous.

“Perhaps all this time, she could endure everything she saw. She could pretend that everything was fine. But until when? She wasn’t sure that she wouldn’t explode at some point and end up announcing to everyone that she was jealous. That she loved Nathan so much that she couldn’t bear to see him with another woman. That she liked Loretta too much and agreed that they looked so good together that she couldn’t bring herself to make a plan to separate them.

She couldn’t embarrass herself any further. It had been enough loving Nathan all this time. A love that until now remained unrequited. She didn’t want Nathan to laugh at her because she still believed in her foolish love.

Yes, Haisley knew Nathan was that cruel. Because if Nathan wasn’t cruel, he should have given Haisley a chance to express all her suppressed feelings. Because if even a little bit he thought that Haisley’s feelings for him were genuine, at least he could try to open his heart to her. Instead, he deliberately hurt her by showing all his warmth to Loretta and always being cold to her.

What about his presence in the hospital these past few days? Everyone assumed Nathan was taking care of her because he was worried. You’re wrong.

Everything he did was merely out of a sense of responsibility. Yes, the responsibility of a foster parent to the person living under his roof. The moral responsibility as someone entrusted with a Haisley. Because, willingly or not, Haisley was under his care.

Because Haisley was under his supervision. He felt responsible for what happened to Haisley. Not because he was afraid of losing her, not because he was worried about her, not because he loved her and cared for her. But more because he was afraid of being blamed by someone else.

Haisley knew that because she heard it from Nathan’s own mouth when he thought she was asleep.

That’s why Haisley was so eager to leave Nathan and Gilbert’s house right now.

She had been pitied enough. She didn’t want to receive that kind of treatment anymore.

What she wanted from Nathan was his love. His affection. Not his pity.

Haisley didn’t know exactly when she fell asleep. Because when she woke up, Gilbert was sitting next to her bed.

“Good evening, Princess,” he greeted with his characteristic smile.

“Evening, G,” she replied hoarsely. “What time is it?” Haisley blinked her eyes while rubbing them with the back of her index finger.

“6 o’clock,” Gilbert answered after checking the time on his left wrist. “Are you hungry?” He offered, to which Haisley nodded. “Aunt Jody made you a meaty casserole. She said, hopefully, you’ll recover soon. She can’t visit you because she’s very anti-hospital,” he continued, raising the table attached to Haisley’s bed. He placed the casserole, contained in a square heat-resistant glass bowl, and handed a spoon to Haisley. She murmured her thanks to the tall, big man, which he acknowledged with a slow nod. “Eat a lot, finish it,” he instructed softly.

Haisley just nodded and started spooning the soft macaroni into her mouth.

“When can I go home, G?” she asked between bites.

Gilbert, who was sitting next to Haisley’s bed, glanced up from his phone. “Why?” he asked, putting his phone into the pocket of his short-sleeved shirt worn over his t-shirt. “Miss home already, huh?” he teased. Haisley only gave a thin smile.”

“That’s it,” she replied flatly.

“If your condition is better tomorrow, you can go home tomorrow evening or the day after,” he answered. Haisley simply nodded in response to Gilbert’s words.

Neither Gilbert nor Haisley spoke much. Their previous personal conversations had drastically changed Haisley. The girl had become quieter now.

Although not expecting much, Haisley couldn’t help but feel disappointed because she no longer saw Nathan coming to visit her. Maybe because he had seen that Haisley was fine, so he felt there was no need to visit her anymore. Deep down, Haisley wanted at least a little bit of his concern.

Sad? Definitely. At the very least, Haisley hoped he would pay some attention to her while she was in the hospital. That way, she could feel that he cared for her even a bit.

But it turned out, it was all just Haisley’s dream. And she didn’t want to ask Gilbert about his whereabouts either. She was afraid of being disappointed by the answer Gilbert might give. So she chose to stay silent.