Loving Quinn Novel by North Rose

(Quinn)

My nerves return when I pull into the driveway of Annora’s parent’s home. Even though she reassured me I have nothing to worry about. I can’t help but feel nervous. The last time I was here it was to meet my daughter for the first time. I was a heap of nerves then, too.

Her parents welcomed me that night, but her dad got straight to the point of my visit by sending me down the hallway to face Grace. It has been six months since that night. I need so badly for tonight to go smoothly.

During that long ago

summer, Vivien was always kind to me. She asked me about my family but didn’t push when I hesitated to talk about my mom. One afternoon, she pulled me aside to tell me she was sorry about what happened. There was no pity in her eyes, only sympathy. I felt more relaxed with her after that

Alexander, on the other hand, was cordial but not friendly. He always looked to be distracted by other matters. There was also noticeable tension between him and his wife. Since they are still married, I can only presume they fixed their issues. After all Annora told me earlier, it seems her father paid better attention that summer than I assumed he did.

After taking a deep breath, I get out of the car, then wait for Annora to join me. She grabs my hand, gives it a slight squeeze. Grace dashes past us to the door, but stops to wait for us.

“Take a deep breath and relax, Quinn. I don’t recall you bring this nervous when you met them t

1.

twelve years ago. They won’t bite.”

I glance at her. “You and Grace are important to me, Annie. I want this life we are building together, the one we dreamed of when we were eighteen. Making a positive impression with your parents this time around is important”

“Quinn, I love you. That is what should matter here, If my parents have an issue with us being together, then that is on them. We are no longer eighteen. Trust me when I say this, you have absolutely nothing to worry about here. My mother and father are on our side here.”

There is so much to worry about in my life right now. This is one part that I wish to work smoothly. So, after nodding my head, we stroll to the front door. Grace opens it and dashes inside, calling for her grandfather. I follow behind Annora, then close the door quietly behind.

I stand in the foyer stiffly with the bouquet I bought in my hand. Annunchuckles at my sudden shyness before she moves me down the hallway toward the kitchen. As we get closer to the kitchen, I can hear Vivien’s voice instructing Grace to go tell her grandfather that dinner is almost ready

“Oh, Quinn, are those for me?”

I hold the flowers out to her as I step further into the kitchen

from me, rests them on the counter, then she shocks the

hell out of me by drawing me into a hug. All the tension, fear, and nerves. I felt when I walked into the house evaporate the moment that she hugs me. At that moment, 1 feel like 1. the eighteen year-old boy I used to be.

When she pulls away to glance up at my face, I can see the tenderness in her eyes. Heartfelt affection. Not the kind that people fake to get through social functions they don’t wish to be at. I smile back out at her as she walks away from me to locate a vase for the flowers.

I feel Annora’s palm rub over my back, causing me to glance at her. She is smiling as she watches me unwind. Her eyes are conveying “I told you so, which causes me to chuckle quietly.

“Annie, take Quinn Into the living room. I should have supper ready in about twenty minutes.”

“Do you need any help? Annora asks.

“I set the dinner table. We made the salad. There is nothing left to do except wait for the lasagna to be done. Your mother has everything under control, like abways,” Alexander answers from the doorway across the kitchen. “Come relax in the living room with me until she call us to the dinner table. You know how she is.”

Annora snickers, then nods her head. She takes my hand again, then draws me toward the living room. My nervousness returns as she leads me into the room. Her dad is right behind me, and I suddenly feel like I am about to be interviewed like a teenager on prom night.

We walk to a cream-colored love seat, then take our seats. Annora angles her body towards mine while still holding onto my hand. It is like she can feel the nervous energy pumping off me. Relax. Just f**king relax. I tell myself as her dad sits in a brown leather wing-back

armchair.

From the expression on Alexander’s face, I can tell he is finding my neriousness amusing. Which causes me to feel somewhat ridiculous suddenly. I just can’t seem to stop.

“Annie, why don’t you go help your mom. I know she has it all under control, but she could use the help. This will allow Quinn and me a

chance to talk”

She glances at me for a moment before rising “Go soft on him, Dad.”

After she leaves the room, I shake my head, then chuckle to myself. “Do look as pitiful as I feel?” I ask Alexander when I glance at him

“No. You look like a man who wishes to make a good impression.”

“I do. This means a

a lot to m

“We didn’t do this when you were a teenager. This mun to man convention. We can do that now and have the awkwardness out of the way for you.” Alexander says. He has a smile on his face, but his ne

I sit up straight and meet his eyes.

“I have to admit that I considered what you had system once she was in school again. That wa

a little summer cnah. A fling she would get out of her

Alexander rubs his chin. His eyes study mine for a moment to assess action. When he looks assured that he possesses my full attention, he goes on.

“As the summer carried on, I could see that you two had a genuine connection. Her mom chose to let it grow, because like me, she saw something in you. You were only eighteen, but you were respectful, kind, and considerate”

“Later, when I learned what your intentions were at the end of the summer, I recognized you had integrity. As a parent, I chose to believe that you two weren’t slipping off to do what teenagers du. Since I was a teenager once myself, I knew otherwise.”

“At the end of the summer when we had to leave, Annie

as optimism in her eyes. I know you two made plans,

had dreams of the future. However, as her parent, I knew not all of those plans and dreams were likely to come true. I have one question for you now,” Alexander asks.

“What is that, sir?”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “You can call me Alex. Sit makes me feel like I am speaking to residents or students. Just call me Alex.”

“Old habits die hard.”

“Fair enough. Now to my question. Had you known about Grace before she was born, would you have been in her life and done all you could for her and Annora?”

“haa heartbeat. I realize it wouldn’t have been easy. Not with Anhora in England and all over the world serving my country. I would have done all 1 could for them both would have been there when I was not deployed to active duty”

“Are you still active now?

“Reserves.”

Alex goes silent, like he is thinking about something. I take this as my chance to express what is in my heart for his daughter and granddaughter. From his first question, I can understand he wants to know if I am in this for the right reasons.

“Sir, I mean Alex, I love your daughter. I realize I was an idiot when she first told me about Grace. I was shocked and did things poorly. However, Annora and Grace are my life and hopefully, it he will have me, one day will be my forever.”

Alex grins at me, then laughs. “Son, she was yours a long time ago. From the way

way she speaks about you to her mom, she is still absolutely yours. Grace has had nothing but wonderful things to say about you, From what I have learned about your business, you are doing Important things. When the time comes that you two decide to get married, know this, both her parents are with you. Welcome to the family.

He stands up, and I follow his lead. When he holds his hand out for me to shake, I accept it without hesitation. Then he takes me completely off guard and pulls me into a hug. When he steps back, I feel all the anxiety and nerves just fade away.

“Now, let’s go find our girls. Dinner smells incredible right now.”

Later, after dinner, Grace is in the sunroom doing her homework while the rest of are relaxing out on the back porch. Alex and Vivien are snuggled up closely on a c**d wicker sofa. Annora is relaxing between my legs with her back against me as we rest on a cu**ed wicker lounger. Since I am driving home, I am drinking tea, but everybody else has red wine.

Conversation flows easily now that my nerves are gone. Alex asked about all the various aspects of G&C Enterprises. So, I gave him condensed synopsis of all the different pies we have our fingers in. I can see the interest in his eyes and the satisfaction he feels about what Aaron and I are doing.

“Quinn, what happened to your father?” Vivien asks.

I stiffen at the mention of my dad. When I stopped to see him this afternoon, he was lucid, but only for a few minutes. Then he throw a fit because my mom wasn’t answering when he called out to her. It breaks my heart every time he calls for a woman who has been dead for so long.

Annora glances over her shoulder to look at me. She pats my knee. I don’t mind talking about it, but I wasn’t expecting her mom to ask

about him

“I am sorry.”

“No. Don’t be.” I take a deep breath, then let it out. “My dad is in a care facility not far from here. He is on a transplant list for a liver transplant. He is also in initial stages of dementia. I had him brought to New York, where I used to live, a few years ago. When Aaron and I moved out here, I had my dad brought here to be closer to me. I try to visit twice a week. Occasionally he knows who I am, sometimes

h** doesn’t”

“Did you two ever repair your relationship?”

I know in my mind that she is asking out of genuine concern and that her heart is in the right place. So, instead of mising my walls the way I usually do when I talk about my past, I leave them down. I let that pain and vulnerability of my past come to the surface.

“No, ma’am. By the time I flew back to visit him, to see if our relationship could be rebuilt, he was already in a care facility. Aaron’s mother kept tabs on him for me while I was deployed. After I left for the Army, he climbed the rest of the into his bottle. He killed his liver. When Tori told me about it: 1-paid for his medical treatment and made sure the facility he went into was an excellent one.

“I know it isn’t all I could have done, but it was all I felt he deserved from me. Now, seeing how he is, and all we have both lost, I try to be there as much as possible for him. We have some decent moments here and there when he recognizes who I am. Sometimes it feels like The is remorseful about the past, but it is a painful subject, so I don’t poke at it often.”

Annora wraps my arms around her shoulders in an attempt to reverse hug me. I kiss the top of her head, then glance at Vivien. There is sorrow in her eyes. I know from my time with her in the past; it was for the young man who desperately needed his father’s love. Deep down, I know my dad loves me, but the agony he felt after my mom passed was too much for him.

“He closed himself off from everyone and everything that could cause him the same type of devastating pain that my mother’s death caused. In doing that, he lost his only child. In ways, I know he was grieving, but so was 1.”

Vivien looks at Alex for a moment, then glances back at me. Her green eyes feel like they are piercing into my soul. I remember this same gesture from one night during that summer. The hug she gave me that night made me cry because she was the second motherly Egure in my life to understand the hurt and crying child underneath the surface.

Annora squeezes my hand again. I never spoke to her about the night I talked to Vivien about my mom. From my point of view, not from someone who didn’t live through it. Annie already knew about my mom from when I told her one aftemoon early in the summer.

*Your mother would be proud of the man you have become. When you talked to me about her in the past, I was proud of you for being so brave. Now, you are a father. Grace is lucky to have you. I know you will never let her down.”

I started the night as a nervous wreck, desperately wanting these two people to like me. I feel like an idiot that I considered for one second that they would hate me. Tonight, her dad accepted me into the family even though I haven’t asked Annorn to marry me yet. Her mom tore past all the barriers I have around the wound in my heat that still lingers from childhood.

“Thank you,” I tell her.

All she does is smile at me, then she turns to look up into the night sky. The conversation turns to brighter topics. Much to my appreciation.

One day, I will heal the wound my dad left in my heart.

Chapter Comments Loving Quinn

(Quinn)

My nerves return when I pull into the driveway of Annora’s parent’s home. Even though she reassured me I have nothing to worry about. I can’t help but feel nervous. The last time I was here it was to meet my daughter for the first time. I was a heap of nerves then, too.

Her parents welcomed me that night, but her dad got straight to the point of my visit by sending me down the hallway to face Grace. It has been six months since that night. I need so badly for tonight to go smoothly.

During that long ago

summer, Vivien was always kind to me. She asked me about my family but didn’t push when I hesitated to talk about my mom. One afternoon, she pulled me aside to tell me she was sorry about what happened. There was no pity in her eyes, only sympathy. I felt more relaxed with her after that

Alexander, on the other hand, was cordial but not friendly. He always looked to be distracted by other matters. There was also noticeable tension between him and his wife. Since they are still married, I can only presume they fixed their issues. After all Annora told me earlier, it seems her father paid better attention that summer than I assumed he did.

After taking a deep breath, I get out of the car, then wait for Annora to join me. She grabs my hand, gives it a slight squeeze. Grace dashes past us to the door, but stops to wait for us.

“Take a deep breath and relax, Quinn. I don’t recall you bring this nervous when you met them t

1.

twelve years ago. They won’t bite.”

I glance at her. “You and Grace are important to me, Annie. I want this life we are building together, the one we dreamed of when we were eighteen. Making a positive impression with your parents this time around is important”

“Quinn, I love you. That is what should matter here, If my parents have an issue with us being together, then that is on them. We are no longer eighteen. Trust me when I say this, you have absolutely nothing to worry about here. My mother and father are on our side here.”

There is so much to worry about in my life right now. This is one part that I wish to work smoothly. So, after nodding my head, we stroll to the front door. Grace opens it and dashes inside, calling for her grandfather. I follow behind Annora, then close the door quietly behind.

I stand in the foyer stiffly with the bouquet I bought in my hand. Annunchuckles at my sudden shyness before she moves me down the hallway toward the kitchen. As we get closer to the kitchen, I can hear Vivien’s voice instructing Grace to go tell her grandfather that dinner is almost ready

“Oh, Quinn, are those for me?”

I hold the flowers out to her as I step further into the kitchen

from me, rests them on the counter, then she shocks the

hell out of me by drawing me into a hug. All the tension, fear, and nerves. I felt when I walked into the house evaporate the moment that she hugs me. At that moment, 1 feel like 1. the eighteen year-old boy I used to be.

When she pulls away to glance up at my face, I can see the tenderness in her eyes. Heartfelt affection. Not the kind that people fake to get through social functions they don’t wish to be at. I smile back out at her as she walks away from me to locate a vase for the flowers.

I feel Annora’s palm rub over my back, causing me to glance at her. She is smiling as she watches me unwind. Her eyes are conveying “I told you so, which causes me to chuckle quietly.

“Annie, take Quinn Into the living room. I should have supper ready in about twenty minutes.”

“Do you need any help? Annora asks.

“I set the dinner table. We made the salad. There is nothing left to do except wait for the lasagna to be done. Your mother has everything under control, like abways,” Alexander answers from the doorway across the kitchen. “Come relax in the living room with me until she call us to the dinner table. You know how she is.”

Annora snickers, then nods her head. She takes my hand again, then draws me toward the living room. My nervousness returns as she leads me into the room. Her dad is right behind me, and I suddenly feel like I am about to be interviewed like a teenager on prom night.

We walk to a cream-colored love seat, then take our seats. Annora angles her body towards mine while still holding onto my hand. It is like she can feel the nervous energy pumping off me. Relax. Just f**king relax. I tell myself as her dad sits in a brown leather wing-back

armchair.

From the expression on Alexander’s face, I can tell he is finding my neriousness amusing. Which causes me to feel somewhat ridiculous suddenly. I just can’t seem to stop.

“Annie, why don’t you go help your mom. I know she has it all under control, but she could use the help. This will allow Quinn and me a

chance to talk”

She glances at me for a moment before rising “Go soft on him, Dad.”

After she leaves the room, I shake my head, then chuckle to myself. “Do look as pitiful as I feel?” I ask Alexander when I glance at him

“No. You look like a man who wishes to make a good impression.”

“I do. This means a

a lot to m

“We didn’t do this when you were a teenager. This mun to man convention. We can do that now and have the awkwardness out of the way for you.” Alexander says. He has a smile on his face, but his ne

I sit up straight and meet his eyes.

“I have to admit that I considered what you had system once she was in school again. That wa

a little summer cnah. A fling she would get out of her

Alexander rubs his chin. His eyes study mine for a moment to assess action. When he looks assured that he possesses my full attention, he goes on.

“As the summer carried on, I could see that you two had a genuine connection. Her mom chose to let it grow, because like me, she saw something in you. You were only eighteen, but you were respectful, kind, and considerate”

“Later, when I learned what your intentions were at the end of the summer, I recognized you had integrity. As a parent, I chose to believe that you two weren’t slipping off to do what teenagers du. Since I was a teenager once myself, I knew otherwise.”

“At the end of the summer when we had to leave, Annie

as optimism in her eyes. I know you two made plans,

had dreams of the future. However, as her parent, I knew not all of those plans and dreams were likely to come true. I have one question for you now,” Alexander asks.

“What is that, sir?”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “You can call me Alex. Sit makes me feel like I am speaking to residents or students. Just call me Alex.”

“Old habits die hard.”

“Fair enough. Now to my question. Had you known about Grace before she was born, would you have been in her life and done all you could for her and Annora?”

“haa heartbeat. I realize it wouldn’t have been easy. Not with Anhora in England and all over the world serving my country. I would have done all 1 could for them both would have been there when I was not deployed to active duty”

“Are you still active now?

“Reserves.”

Alex goes silent, like he is thinking about something. I take this as my chance to express what is in my heart for his daughter and granddaughter. From his first question, I can understand he wants to know if I am in this for the right reasons.

“Sir, I mean Alex, I love your daughter. I realize I was an idiot when she first told me about Grace. I was shocked and did things poorly. However, Annora and Grace are my life and hopefully, it he will have me, one day will be my forever.”

Alex grins at me, then laughs. “Son, she was yours a long time ago. From the way

way she speaks about you to her mom, she is still absolutely yours. Grace has had nothing but wonderful things to say about you, From what I have learned about your business, you are doing Important things. When the time comes that you two decide to get married, know this, both her parents are with you. Welcome to the family.

He stands up, and I follow his lead. When he holds his hand out for me to shake, I accept it without hesitation. Then he takes me completely off guard and pulls me into a hug. When he steps back, I feel all the anxiety and nerves just fade away.

“Now, let’s go find our girls. Dinner smells incredible right now.”

Later, after dinner, Grace is in the sunroom doing her homework while the rest of are relaxing out on the back porch. Alex and Vivien are snuggled up closely on a c**d wicker sofa. Annora is relaxing between my legs with her back against me as we rest on a cu**ed wicker lounger. Since I am driving home, I am drinking tea, but everybody else has red wine.

Conversation flows easily now that my nerves are gone. Alex asked about all the various aspects of G&C Enterprises. So, I gave him condensed synopsis of all the different pies we have our fingers in. I can see the interest in his eyes and the satisfaction he feels about what Aaron and I are doing.

“Quinn, what happened to your father?” Vivien asks.

I stiffen at the mention of my dad. When I stopped to see him this afternoon, he was lucid, but only for a few minutes. Then he throw a fit because my mom wasn’t answering when he called out to her. It breaks my heart every time he calls for a woman who has been dead for so long.

Annora glances over her shoulder to look at me. She pats my knee. I don’t mind talking about it, but I wasn’t expecting her mom to ask about him

“I am sorry.”

“No. Don’t be.” I take a deep breath, then let it out. “My dad is in a care facility not far from here. He is on a transplant list for a liver transplant. He is also in initial stages of dementia. I had him brought to New York, where I used to live, a few years ago. When Aaron and I moved out here, I had my dad brought here to be closer to me. I try to visit twice a week. Occasionally he knows who I am, sometimes h** doesn’t”

“Did you two ever repair your relationship?”

I know in my mind that she is asking out of genuine concern and that her heart is in the right place. So, instead of mising my walls the way I usually do when I talk about my past, I leave them down. I let that pain and vulnerability of my past come to the surface.

“No, ma’am. By the time I flew back to visit him, to see if our relationship could be rebuilt, he was already in a care facility. Aaron’s mother kept tabs on him for me while I was deployed. After I left for the Army, he climbed the rest of the into his bottle. He killed his liver. When Tori told me about it: 1-paid for his medical treatment and made sure the facility he went into was an excellent one.

“I know it isn’t all I could have done, but it was all I felt he deserved from me. Now, seeing how he is, and all we have both lost, I try to be there as much as possible for him. We have some decent moments here and there when he recognizes who I am. Sometimes it feels like The is remorseful about the past, but it is a painful subject, so I don’t poke at it often.”

Annora wraps my arms around her shoulders in an attempt to reverse hug me. I kiss the top of her head, then glance at Vivien. There is sorrow in her eyes. I know from my time with her in the past; it was for the young man who desperately needed his father’s love. Deep down, I know my dad loves me, but the agony he felt after my mom passed was too much for him.

“He closed himself off from everyone and everything that could cause him the same type of devastating pain that my mother’s death caused. In doing that, he lost his only child. In ways, I know he was grieving, but so was 1.”

Vivien looks at Alex for a moment, then glances back at me. Her green eyes feel like they are piercing into my soul. I remember this same gesture from one night during that summer. The hug she gave me that night made me cry because she was the second motherly Egure in my life to understand the hurt and crying child underneath the surface.

Annora squeezes my hand again. I never spoke to her about the night I talked to Vivien about my mom. From my point of view, not from someone who didn’t live through it. Annie already knew about my mom from when I told her one aftemoon early in the summer.

*Your mother would be proud of the man you have become. When you talked to me about her in the past, I was proud of you for being so brave. Now, you are a father. Grace is lucky to have you. I know you will never let her down.”

I started the night as a nervous wreck, desperately wanting these two people to like me. I feel like an idiot that I considered for one second that they would hate me. Tonight, her dad accepted me into the family even though I haven’t asked Annorn to marry me yet. Her mom tore past all the barriers I have around the wound in my heat that still lingers from childhood.

“Thank you,” I tell her.

All she does is smile at me, then she turns to look up into the night sky. The conversation turns to brighter topics. Much to my appreciation.

One day, I will heal the wound my dad left in my heart.