Love for the Librarian

The next day the nanny came right on time. Everyone met her in the living room. “Hey everyone, this is Adel. She will be around taking care of Grace. This is Kevin, Alex and Katelyn.” I point to each one in turn. “They will be around, they live here too. They usually help out with Grace so if you need anything feel free to ask. I know that this is a little unorthodox with all these people floating around but it will make the job easier.”

Adel smiles at those around her. “I think this is awesome. Which one of you is the dad?”

Kevin coughs in his hand and Alex flashes her a smile. I roll my eyes at them. “Neither. Call them Uncle if you would. The dad isn’t in the picture at the moment. I will ask that you take plenty of pictures then send them to me at the end of the day. We are kind of documenting her life for her dad. For when he is in the picture. That being said, are you ok with all this?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about the mix up. Now I am kind of embarrassed that I jumped to that conclusion.” Adel looks at the ground.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We are not a conventional family. It is ok that you asked. Don’t feel afraid to ask questions. I take no offense, plus I know these two could care less about that impression. Hell this one,” I point at Alex. “gets called daddy at the park all the time. Now you know so it is all cleared up. Any other questions?”

Adel looks up and looks between us all. “Um, this may sound a bit out of place, but do you have a schedule that you will want me to have? I don’t want to be stepping on toes. With this many people around I don’t want to be hanging around if I am not needed.”

“Oh, yeah, any time that I am gone at school. These guys have their lives. You are the one responsible for Grace when I am not here. They will just be around to help. They are in school too, so there might actually not be too much overlap time. If for some reason one of them takes her to the park or something, then you can accompany them or you could set up snacks and clean up. Just know that I trust them with her.” My phone starts to vibrate. I look down and it is Dylan.

“Excuse me for a minute.” I head out to the hall. Little do I know that Alex is behind me. “Hello.”

“Hey baby. Do you have everything ready for the new school year?”

“Who is that?” Alex asks. I turn and glare at him. I know he is doing this on purpose.

“Who is that?” Dylan sounds pissed instantly.

“Alex. He is here at the house.” I try to give Alex the notion that he needs to leave. However at the moment he is being stubborn, he folds his arms over his chest and stands right next to me.

“Why does he need to know who you are talking to?” Dylan is not placated.

“He doesn’t, he was just curious. Why do you need to know who I am talking to? I don’t ask you. Hell you called me at three in the morning with another woman in the background, did I ask you a million questions?” I sneer. Ok yeah I am still a little bitter about that.

“Sorry, I know I am stepping out of place here. I just know that he wants you and he made it clear that he doesn’t want you to be with me. He raises my hackles.” Dylan is calming down and I think Alex can sense it because he comes up and gives me the loudest kiss on my cheek. I know Dylan can hear it and Alex knows it too.

“Good morning Dylan.” Alex calls as he gets a mischievous smile on his face. “I am going back in there. I will let them know you’ll be in in a minute.”

I nod my head, but I am glaring at him. He knows he was being an ass, I don’t even have to say it.

“What the hell was that? I thought you said that you two weren’t dating.” Dylan is fuming now.

“We aren’t. Alex is messing with you. I told you I am focusing on me. I am not dating anyone. It is just easy for Alex to get a rise out of you. It goes the same for him. He is pissed that you call all the time and I answer. So you two need to just cool it.” I seath into the phone. This bickering is pissing me off.

He instantly gets softer. “Sorry baby. I just miss you. I can’t be there and he is there planting kisses on you. It is a bit aggravating. I am sure you know what I am talking about.” He gives me a knowing tone. Because he knows I was pissed that he was with some woman in the middle of the night. Although to be fair it was like six to my three, but still she said come back to bed. Which means that they were in bed before together. He hasn’t caught me in bed with someone else before. Not that I caught him, he called me.

“Dylan I get it. It is just irritating. Yes, Alex wants to date me. But I am totally focused on myself. If he gives me a kiss on the cheek from time to time I really don’t care. You need to not care. You are supposed to be moving on.”

“What if I don’t want to move on?” He sounds completely serious.

“Then focus on you. Make sure you are the best you you can be. You have a son to take care of, remember. You need to make sure that you are able to make a living to take care of him. You need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself to be there for him. That is part of being a parent.”

“The other part is giving him a mother, he needs you.”

“I am not his mother. I have never met the kid.”

“You will be his mother. I love you. I don’t want someone else.”

I have to take a deep breath. I can’t believe that he is spouting this crap right now. “Look I need some space here Dylan. I won’t get on you about your overnight guests and you will leave Alex alone. I am not sleeping with him at least.”

“I didn’t sleep with her either. I passed out drunk and woke up next to her, fully clothed. I told her I can’t see her anymore and she left. I haven’t seen her since. She could tell I wasn’t interested. Especially when I left her in bed and called another woman. I think she was a little put off by that.”

“Dylan, why did you call me?”

“Now, or then?”

“Both.”

“I told you I missed you. I can only take it for so long before I have to call you.” His voice got really soft.

“I have a meeting right now. I will talk to you later, ok.” I feel guilty. I think I am really regretting this decision, but I have made one. I am not going to tell Dylan about Grace until I return home. I can’t handle this. He is pulling my heartstrings and I need to nip it in the butt.

“Alright I love you. I will talk to you later.”

I click the phone off. Shaking my head as I go back into the living room. “That was not funny Alex.” I try to give him a stern face, but he is giving me a stupid smile that I can’t help but smile back at.

“I can’t help it if it is so much fun to piss off daddy.”

Adel looks at both of us. “He has something against your dad.”

I shake my head. “Not my dad. Grace’s. He doesn’t know of Grace at the moment. We are keeping it that way.”

Kevin jumps up. “What? I thought you said you would tell him soon.”

“I just got off the phone and I decided that I am going to wait until we move back home. He has his son to worry about. He is shopping for a mother. I am not going to just be a mother to his child.” I protest.

Kevin waves his arms in the air clearly aggravated. “You are the mother of his child. Sure not that child but you are still the mother of his child.”

“Fine I am not going to be the mother of Brittney’s child. Does that sound better?” I am yelling at Kevin now. I know it is wrong to take it out on him but I am pissed. He keeps defending Dylan, I know they are friends, but he is my friend too.

“You know it isn’t his either. He just gave him parents who will actually give a shit about him. He wants you to be the other parent. He has always wanted that. You are the one pushing him away.” Kevin storms out of the room.

I turn to smile at Adel. “Sorry about that. At this point I wouldn’t blame you for running out that door.”

She gave me a pleasant smile. “I am not going to run. Every family is unique. It would seem that yours is a little more unique than other peoples is all. I don’t judge. Just try not to fight in front of Grace is all I ask.”

“We keep all this from Grace. I am not really angry at her father but there are some things that need to be worked out.” I give her a smile back. “I am so glad you are not running for the hills.”

“I wouldn’t bail on you like that. If anything I would tell you that you needed to find someone else and I would be here til then. But at this point I don’t see the need for that.”

I clap my hands with a little gleeful smile. “I am so glad. Alright I have to go get my books and work on my schedule, Grace is up in her crib. She was still asleep when I checked on her before you got here. Let me walk you up there.”

I head up the stairs and show Adel where the room is and Grace is starting to stir but not quite awake yet. We quietly leave the room to let her rest some more. I close the door so I can talk to Adel. “So there is milk in the freezer for her. It is breast milk only. If I remember correctly you were familiar with that and know how to prepare it. I have pumped quite a bit to get ready for this time so there is no shortage. Let me show you where the kitchen and the bathroom are. Then you should be good. I am only going to be gone for a few hours today. Are there any other questions?”

“No, I just need to know where the bottles are kept. I saw the changing table so I am good there. She will be a piece of cake. The last family I was a nanny for had three kids from three months to four years. I was ragged. Truth be told I will miss them, but they moved away for work.”

“Yeah, this will kind of be the same thing. I will be here until I graduate, then I will be moving back home to take over the family business.” We continue to walk down the stairs. “Oh and before I forget the baby monitor is beside her bed, I usually keep it in my room but if you can’t find it that is where it is. You probably won’t need it today. I am sure she will be up in about fifteen minutes.”

We enter the kitchen and I direct her to the milk storage and the bottles. “Alright I am nervous as hell, but I think you got this.” Alex, as if sensing my distress, comes into the kitchen and throws his arm around my shoulders.

“Come on. You hired her, you know she can do the job. It is just like leaving her with us for a little while. You need to get your stuff done.” He practically drags me out of the kitchen with Adel laughing at the sight. “She will be fine.” He shakes his head at me.

“But Alex what if something happens and she doesn’t know what to do. I should stay home. I mean she might need me.”

He turns and grabs my shoulders, “Riley, you know that you need to get this schooling done. The fastest way to do that is to take classes on the campus. You need to do this and Grace is ready. She will miss you but you are not leaving forever. You need to do this.” His look in my eyes is encouraging.

“Thank you Alex. Alright, continue to drag me away. Or else I might never leave.” I give him a dramatic sigh.

He laughs and throws his arm around my shoulder and leads me to his truck. “I was going to take my car.”

“Na, I know this is your first day without your baby, I am not leaving you alone.” He gives me that knowing smile. “Get in. Let’s get to campus before it is too crowded and it takes forever.”

The trip was pretty boring, but I had Alex there to keep me distracted. I am glad for it, otherwise I would have ran home after twenty minutes. Once we got back I was able to relax a little. There was my baby with her nanny on the floor crawling around with toys. She had a beautiful smile on her face. When she saw me it got even bigger. God I love coming home to that. It will make it all worth it. “Any problems?”

“No, she was great. She isn’t a big fusser. She took her bottle and she got changed. We have been playing. I fed her twice. She is already for momma. Your classes start tomorrow right?”

“Yeah. Oh, I forgot to tell you we are starting to give her baby food. So on longer days you want to try feeding her. She is a bit fussy about it. But it is time to start getting her food.”

“I was going to ask about that. She is at that age. She might like having some of your food mushed up. I had this one kid that that was the only way he would eat. He thought that it was the same as what we were eating so it was what he wanted. Stuff like cooked carrots and peas. Stuff easy to mash. Just an idea.”

“I’ll give it a try. You can too. I am not against it. So I will see you tomorrow.”

“Yeap, bright and early.” She nods to me as she leaves. She gives Grace a little kiss on the cheek on the way out.

Alex puts his hands out for Grace but I decline him. I just got her. “I like her. She seems like she is a good fit. Plus she didn’t run after the Dylan explanation. She is a keeper. Plus Grace likes her.” He tickles her sides and she gives him a little giggle. I swear it is so cute.

“I think it will work out too. Here, you can hold her. I know you missed her too. I am being selfish.”

He takes her from me. “That’s right she loves uncle Alex. Huh Grace. Uncle Alex is that best ever.”

As if Kevin knew what Alex was saying he entered the room, “Excuse me. I am the best uncle ever.” He looks at me. “Riley, I know it is your choice to make and I am sorry for how I acted. I am upset about the whole situation. I still think that you would change your mind, but I understand that it is your choice. You have chosen to wait and I will respect it. I will hold my tongue. Until we graduate then you are going home and telling him. If you don’t I will hog tie you and ship you there to tell him.”

I give him a smile. “Thank you for understanding Kevin. I did panic a little today when he was telling me that he wanted me to be Riley’s mother. I mean I have never even met him. It was scary. I know though that it is a possibility in the future. It is scary to think about having two kids the same age. It is like going to twins. I mean they are only about two months apart. I need time to adjust to it. I mean if anything Grace will have a brother the same age. I know it is adoptive, but still they will only be three when we go see him. That is a lot in and of itself. Do you understand?”

“Just know, you know this is coming. Dylan has no idea, so if he freaks it is because you waited too damn long. That is the last thing I am going to say about that.” Kevin comes and hugs me. “I hate it when we fight.”

“Me too.” I hugged him back.

Alex looks at the two of us. “So you are pretty sure you are going back to him?”

“I am not really sure of anything. I know it is a possibility though. I told you not to wait for me.” I can’t even really look at him. I know this is not what he wants to hear.

“I understand I mean he is Grace’s father. I can tell he loves you. I am just going to continue to give him shit to make sure he deserves you. And you better believe if he screws up I will be the first one there. I will always be there for you.” He looks serious and he is making sure that I see it in his eyes. There isn’t a trace of a smile that he usually wears.

“I know Alex. Plus Grace couldn’t live without her uncles.” We all kind of group hugged. It was a little difficult with Alex holding Grace but since she decided to grab my face at that time, it worked out.