LOVE AGAIN

“I’m doing good”.

“How is work?”

She already knew how it went at the company, so she called to mock me.

“Work is fine , how is your boyfriend?”

I regretted asking that , it’s as if I am jealous.

“Oh he is fine, we just came out of the bedroom, he said I’m better at bed than you, you know”.

“Lucky him he got you”I replied trying to hide my anger.

“Well what do you say about my proposal, will you be my maid of honor?”

“… I”

I felt my mouth dry.

“Are you suddenly dumb?”

“Fine, I will do it for our friendship”.

“Awww you never change, keep it up, a perfect man will get married to you”.

I hung up, and I think I need an alcohol at this moment

I went out of the house and got a bottle from the shop nearby.

As a first time drinker, I didn’t know how or when I got to bed.

The next morning, I heard noises from my kitchen

I was shocked and alerted.

Too scared to go check what was happening.

The room looked cleaned up, I wonder if this is one of the effects of alcohol, like maybe I am hallucinating.

Then Daniel came out of the kitchen, wearing an apron.

I almost screamed

“What the!!!

“Good morning”.

“How did you…. what are you doing here, how long…”

“Calm down , alcohol na your mate?”

I didn’t think this is time for jokes, he saw that I wasn’t relaxed yet and that the joke didn’t get to me.

“Sorry I apologize”.

He put down the tray containing fried plantain and pap he was carrying.

“I came in and saw you with the bottle sleeping your door wide open a stranger may walk in and harm you so I cleaned up and put you to bed, I promise I didn’t sleep inside with you , I locked you from the outside and came back early this morning to check on you thought it will be nice to cook you something”.

All this sounds like a movie script to me. I was mad but at the same time grateful to God it’s Daniel, the least person to take advantage of me but still why will he do all that.

I sighed and sat on the couch with my hand rubbing my forehead, it ached badly.

Trying to remember but it’s blank.

“How does it feel, your first alcohol experience?”

“I don’t know, how it happened but I slept off though, I thought I can’t sleep last night , I had much on my mind”

He laughed.

“Don’t worry you will be fine… I have to rush now, the time my girlfriend gave to me has expired, she told me to be back in a few minutes”.

I just nodded even though I wanted him to stay longer

“Thanks so much Dan,”.

“There’s still good men, okay”.

He replied and took a spoon of pap and a plantain.

“It’s safe”he assured me, Incase I am being suspicious

I smiled back. He is proof, there’s still good men , his girlfriend so lucky.

I took a deep breath and got up to brush.

***

This is now exactly two weeks I heard nothing from the company, looks like they’re not going to call me back

And this is the week of their wedding.

At first I wanted to ignore her and sit back at home but how can I abandon her because she took my man, we are much more than friends.

Even when I know it’s hard, I gotta stay strong and do it.

I dash to the bathroom, take my bath. In the process, I tried taking off my engagement ring but I couldn’t, I think I’m being too dramatic to have kept it on all this while, maybe because I was hoping they might call the joke off but it’s getting real.

I cried to my satisfaction, remembering the moment he proposed and put this ring straight to my finger.

My emotions, my smile, my tears and to crown it all the thought of spending the rest of my life with someone I loved so much, was unexplainable.

All those memories have been shattered and my emotions toyed with.

My phone vibrated, it’s a notification.

“Bestie’s birthday hurray, pour her water in bed”.

I quickly swipe it out of my screen sadly with my brows arched.

I totally forgot it’s her birthday today.

“She is getting married on her birthday just like I told her I wished to, why is she trying to do this to me”.

I put on the color of the dress, she told me and went off to her place.

The classic cars present at the lot shows how big the wedding is going to be.

She always loved big weddings. I walked towards her room, both families of the groom and bride to be, recognized me but pretended not to.

It made me look hopeless and shameful, I saw a bridesmaid coming out from the sitting room. I approached her.

“Please where is the bride?”

“She’s in her room”.

I nodded and thanked her then went into the room.

Kamsu was with her husband to be or should I say my ex boyfriend , he was gushing over her looks as I stepped into the room.

I excused myself and went back.

“Why is she here?”

I overheard him snap at her, they lowered their voices

I can’t hear them clearly anymore but I am quite sure they’re talking about me.

After a few minutes, he came out, he avoided eye contact with me, and pretended I was a ghost.

I so much wanted him to look at me even not for anything to tell me what I did wrong.

He didn’t even give me that chance, I gave up, and ran to him.

“Dear… please..”

“For goodness sake what is it? What do you want? Is this your plan to mess up our day? I knew you were stupid but is it this bad, calling me dear, is this wedding a joke to you?”

“I am sorry…”.

I found myself crying.

“Now you are crying trying to create a scene, I don’t have time for this , I blame her for inviting you”.

“Why have I ever done to deserve this shame, what, just tell me the reason it’s her and not me, after you gave me this ring”.

I showed him the ring in my palm, yes I brought it with me.

“I was with her before I gave you that ring. Okay?, you want to know why I chose her over you? You pretend a lot, you’re boring, you’re childish, you’re stupid and worse you’re ugly! Are you satisfied!”

He left me, swimming in my own tears.

As his groomsmen and other event planners ran to him

I slowly turned back heading towards the house.

I cleaned my face with my hand towels and swallowed them out with a smiling face and walked into the room where my bestie was.

“Happy birthday best”.

I handed her a gift.

I tried to say it with a brave tone, but she Ignored me.

“You came late, we are leaving for church any sec, Judy please tell mom, i’m ready”

She informed one of the bridesmaids.

Getting to the church, I tried as much as possible to conceal my sadness, I was seated in the front seat. The cameras are all focused on me and being the banquet bearer and maid of honor, I am supposed to be happy for my friend right?

At my back , our colleagues from the company were seated, yes my bestie was one of us so that’s why they’re also invited.

Daniel was sitting in the opposite direction, his beautiful girlfriend was glued to him, his eyes spoke pity , I didn’t want to look at him too much or I would literally cry, he is the only one understanding the pain I am going through but concealing it.

My colleagues never cease to talk about me, knowing fully well I can hear them.

“He is right to go for her, she is so much better than that low class”.

“I prefer her more than nobody”.

“Preach girl! I wonder why a guy like him will propose to someone like her, I was mad that day but thank God he is back to his senses”.

It was time to exchange the Marital vows. I walked to the altar to support her.

They answered the big question and they ask if there’s someone that has anything to say.

When there’s no response they get pronounced man and wife.

He carried her up happily and they kissed passionately.

My hands were shaking and I felt like I was made a fool of. I looked at the excited and happy congregation, the faces of the guests were so like they’re laughing at me, I felt my body getting weaker and weaker, hot tears rolled down my face.

I forced a smile but my lips were quivering.

The time I slept in the hospital and took care of her, I donated my blood, her rich family relaxed cus they knew I am able to take care of their sick daughter, and we shared our secrets.

Or is it him? what sacrifices didn’t I make to please him, denying my own happiness.

“Here, this is yours”I gave her the banquet.

Then I took off the ring finally, as it slipped off my finger, I let out a sharp cry, I quickly covered my mouth, my heart was heavy so heavy that I couldn’t explain that feeling.

I have him the ring, he shamelessly collected it with no emotion, no empathy, I was the only one , loving with all my hearts

I walked out the aisle like a living corpse, my top part of the gown soaked wet with tears and sweat, people who knew me were quiet staring at me maybe to see if I can actually make it out of the door alive, those who don’t know anything were mumbling words, guessing the background of the scene that just happened.

I sighted Daniel about to get up to come over to me. I guess his girlfriend pulled him back to the seat.

I could hear the celebration continued ignoring my misery.

Getting to the entrance I slipped and bumped into a guest coming inside the church.

The guards with him would have bounced on me if I wasn’t the maid of honor as he looked like a very important guest.

“Hey watch it!!!”

One of them screamed.

I didn’t wait to apologize to the guest, all I wanted to do was to take this heap of pain off my chest.

I continued walking towards the gate, ignoring all, each step I felt like my heart was shattering more, more crack’s breaking in it.