JUNE BREAK

He suddenly turned back and started walking away after the long stare he gave John and I

“Phil, John was about leaving…” I said as he was walking out.

John crossed the room, walked away after giving Phil a side look.

I was expecting Phil to come back but he started walking away too without a word.

I watched him leave, I groan angrily as i walked back inside.

I heeped a heavy sigh before sitting on the floor and began to count the money.

It was more than enough to fix anything I want to fix in the house.

I tidied up the food stuff that I bought, cooked and ate the little that I can

After cooking, the appetite to eat wasn’t there anymore.

All I could think of was Phil and no other. As night approached, I sat on the lonely room playing everything that happened in my head and wishing it played out differently.

Phil would have been here with me right now and we will be talking and settling our problems or maybe not but it wouldn’t have gotten to the extent of him bashing me with different name calling or me trying to also get back at him.

I wouldn’t say John was the cause of everything because he wasn’t also aware that Phil will show up and change the event of the day.

I was free, really happy as the day progresses, I was joking and laughing out my trouble with John and wasn’t expecting any clash at all.

I understand that Phil only wanted to bring the money to me but seeing me with John must have reminded him of Louise and triggers all the hurt he was trying to forget

I didn’t plan to spoil his day neither did I foresee that mine will turn out sour.

Even with all the money given, which supposed to atleast ease my hurt I’m still lonely and sad.

I wonder when life will actually make sense, I wonder when I will be free from all of this. I kept moving from one sad story to another and thinking the end is soon but instead alot keep popping up.

Could it be that there’s no end to all this sad tale in my life? I want to be at peace, happy, alive and really free.

I’m still caged with all my troubles, I’m not free at all. Maybe someday I will breath without looking over my neck, a breath of life and real freedom.

Weekend came and I made provision for other things I ordered online to arrive

My cushion and rock carpet arrived and the furniture men helped set it all up for me in the sitting room.

My bed with it’s accessories arrived. Tables, fridge, very portable dining sets, more utensils, cooking items, I had wardrobe in the room already. I fixed it up properly with the help of the men.

Television and home theater for music arrived too.

The bathroom and toilet was also put in other

After I got everything I needed and it was all fixed, even though I used the help of John to fix some things in my apartment

My house was looking extra ordinary beautiful.

As I looked around, walking from kitchen to the bathroom, sitting room, bedroom and every corner of my apartment was looking homely, it appears good and smells rosy too as I hung few air freshener around which was in form of a small wrapped bouquet flower.

After everything was fixed, that first night.. I had difficult sleeping as I try to get adjusted to the whole thing and my new bed and pillows.

The second night with everything available wasn’t like the previous, I slept like a baby and enjoyed my night alone with a calm music playing on the background.

I’m living a lifestyles of a big baby girl, is enjoyable and relaxing.

I had foodstuffs in the house, I had fridge and stored some fruits and carbonated drinks in it.

When I said I was living the life of a big girl I meant it.

I can’t believe that I have my own place and not only that, is also furnished to my very taste, just the way I want it.

April is living the comfortable life she ever dreamth of, oh yeah… I am and I’m enjoying it but I wish my blessing are complete.

Like having a job, having enough in my bank account and most importantly being in contact with my family, good and healthy relationship and knowing how they’re alright.

And also having Phil and wish things will return back as it used to be between us.

John came around sometimes, we watch television together and I offer him drink.

We gist generally and watch comedy jokes.

It was all on friendship level as I have explained to him that whatever personal relationship he wants from me is impossible.

We can only be friends and if he tries to become so pushy I will cut him off totally.

John was afraid of pushing out his luck with me, he tries to comply with my wishes and remain as a good friend.

The money Phil gave me did lots of goodness for me.

I’m really grateful that he was kind enough to hand over such amount of cash to me.

It was a total of 250k and I screamed when I counted it. I can’t thank him enough for all his kindness, even when I don’t deserve anything from him he still surprised me with the huge amount of money.

Is been three weeks and I haven’t heard from him or seen him ever since after the incident. Maybe he decided to move on and forget everything about me.

Even if he forgets, I can never forget him.

He still means the entire world to me and will always be remembered.

I just imagined my sister Rachel here with me, scattering my stuffs, sorting things that will be of a benefit to her and checking out my cloths, trying all the cloths and selecting the beautiful ones that will fit her perfectly.

Eating and dumping the plates in the Kitchen sink, waiting for me to wash the dirty dishes. wetting the floor without cleaning it and loads of other annoying things she does.

My Mom will say, “April let your sister be, she’s just a kid, April go help her wash it or clean it, April, sweep it or cook it for her..

Even when Rachel approached teenage age they still refers to her as baby of the house who can’t pick a pin.

I’m to let go all the time and let Rachel have whatever she wants and when she do something wrong I have to also take the blames for it.

She is beautiful and there’s no doubt about that and I was not even trying to compete but I felt cheated with all that was melted out to me.

After high school, I was supposed to be in the university but they kept using Rachel as an excuse because she was put in a very expensive school and I had to wait until she was done with high school before planning for university.

I started working instead and began to save so that I can go to the university but all my savings went to Rachel because my parents will tell me that beloved daughter wants to hang out with her friends since she’s the cheerleader in her school and had to pay for all her friends refreshments bills Or she had a thing or two to pay for in school.

And when I refuse, they tag me jealous or stingy and say I was too selfish and can’t share with my sister.

Due to all of this I couldn’t continue with my savings and I started planning an alternative way out and Louise was just in time for that.

The humiliation, the whole trouble was just too much that I began to wish Rachel wasn’t born

I decided to run away from the house with the help of Louise who brought me to another big city, Faraway from home and that’s exactly how I wanted it.

He also became a monster and took all my savings with lies that he was also saving it for my school. I worked for about a year and it was all given to him and he deceitfully took it all.

I was left at his mercy until Phil showed up like an angel to rescue me.

But because I was too afraid to tell him the truth about Louise he found out in a shocking way.

To keep him I had to lie that Louise was my relatives but Phil discovered alot of other things about me and haven’t been able to forgive.

Life has never been the same ever since.

But despite how annoying my sisters may seem, I still miss her. I truly miss her and wish she was here with me.

I miss my brothers, I miss my Mom and Dad.

I might try to justify my main reason for running away but I wish I have endured all the cruelty for my parents sake.

I just couldn’t take it anymore, I just couldn’t stand them all.

Nobody cares if I was happy or not. It was all about Rachel. Even my Brother mark, accused me of stealing his money back then, when it was actually Rachel that was the culprit and my parents joined in.

After he found the money, no apology was rendered for wrongly accusing me.

Life goes on and I just couldn’t bear it anymore.

Suicide didn’t settle well in my mind and I don’t have a heart for such.

Killing myself to send a strong message to them, maybe with a written note would have been okay but I will never do such because after a month or two everyone will move on, and that’s if they will even mourn up-to a month.

I wanted so much out of life and left to make my mark.

I wanted to go to school, study law and be the strong lady I always dreamt off.

Two of my greatest achievement is escaping from Louise and having this apartment to my name.

Nothing much but being alive is hopeful enough.

I will keep pushing.

My next plan would have been searching for a job but I want to check if I can set up a business with the little money left.

I had two things in mind and will try to truly make my mark before going back home.

I decided to call Phil one-day when I can no longer bear the silent.

As the phone began to ring, so was my heart beat.