JUNE BREAK

Three weeks became four then five and the six week arrived scaring me on each passing day.

Initially it was flowing we but all changed later.

We were not communicating like before, he was cold and hardly pick his call or reply my messages.

I was truly worried and then scared that something bad had happened to him.

I was panicking as i couldn’t think straight on exactly what was going on

What if he was done with me and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me

He can’t just come into my life and mess it up like this.

Although I had nothing to loose but I had already fallen for him totally.

Philip is one of a kind and I will be so Damned if I miss such a man.

Maybe the money he sent was a goodbye gift. I never even thought of that until now.

Did I offend him without knowing or was it because I refused to allow him to come and see my so-called uncle that doesn’t even exist.

Or did he happens to know about Louise?

He probably did his findings and found out that I was living with a man who happens to be my boyfriend.

“No… no, he can’t possibly know that…”

My guilt will torment my conscience day by day. Although I still feel tortured but I can cope knowing well that Philip knows absolutely nothing about me.

I was almost loosing my mind thinking about Philip.

I became moody and lost appetite.

Nothing interest me at all. I try to forge ahead and not let anything about Philip pull me down emotionally but nothing was really helping.

“What is wrong with you…” Louise asked one day

“Nothing, I’m fine..” I replied

No, you’re not fine. I noticed you are just mopping around like a shadow. Something is definitely eating at you… and you know you can tell me anything right…”

I looked up at him, expressionless and angry that he wouldn’t drop the topic

“… you can tell me anything April because I care….”

That was an actual lie, Louise doesn’t care one bit he was only being inquisitive, he really wanted to know what was happening in my life and I’m not ready to spill a thing.

“I’m fine Louise, please just leave me alone. Thanks for caring…”

I walked into the room to try Philip’s number hoping he will pick but as usual it was not going through

I decided to send a message, after sending the first one, I sent another and waited but no reply came.

This was it for me. I will delete his number and everything about him.

I will try to forget about him so that I can move forward because thinking about him, calling and texting him without getting a reply makes me want to cry.

Maybe, I will give it few more days and I will never call him again

He can’t be toiling with my emotions.

That following morning, while I was in the bathroom getting ready for work i began to wish I know his office or where he lives.

If I do I could have visited, paying him an unexpected visit may not sit well with him but he left me with no choice.

I finished from the bathroom, stepped into the room and there Louise was seated on the bed checking my phone.

I rushed to drag my phone from him but he pushed me away, I lost my balance and fell down.

He didn’t say a word as he continued checking.

I stood up to face him.

“Who’s Phill?

I didn’t say anything, he approached me and repeated the question

“Is a nobody..”I replied still standing.

“It doesn’t seem like a nobody to me, you have been communicating with him for sometimes now and I know you must have deleted some old messages too. But this last one you sent you were begging him to pick your call. Let me read out some of it “tell me what I have done wrong Phil, please reply or pick my call because I’m going crazy thinking of you…”

Louise read it out from the phone to me and I was quiet without trying to defend myself.

“….. so who’s is Phil I ask you again?

“Is a nobody. I replied again

“He angrily smashed my phone on the walls and said “stop toiling with me April, for the last time who this Phil, you call and text him and begging him to reply you because you’re going crazy..? So he’s been the reason for your recent bad mood. You’re cheating on me? Are you seeing another man? You’re seeing another man under my nose…? April, answer me because if you don’t your head will be the next thing I will smash…”

I was afraid but I try not to show it. I wanted this moment to pass because I was scared of what Louise will do next.

“I’m not seeing another man Louise. You’re my only man and Phill means nothing to me. Please, I don’t want any trouble this morning. Is just one of those moments at work, I happen to meet a customer who probably charmed me because the guy is not caring, not fine, not romantic and doesn’t love me yet I can’t seem to get him out of my head. I’m begining to think he did something to me, maybe he charmed me. Even has a wife and kids… that’s how crazy it is Louise. I need prayer because this is not ordinary. Maybe is from the ice cream he brought for me and I innocently ate it. Talking about it now I feel a little free. That’s the truth…”

He looked at me for few minutes and said

“Indeed, you’re charmed if that’s the case. I don’t want this madness to repeat itself again so try to uncharm yourself before something worse happen. Hav he taken you out before… have you slept with him…”

I told him that none of that happenend

“I believe you but prove it,

“How…? I replied uncertain of what exactly he meant.

He said he will show me how.

Louise pulled off the towel tied around my chest and pushed me to the bed.

Fifteen minutes later he was done, satisfied and stood to dress.

I endured, didn’t make a sound and neither did I resist.

I felt more hatred and disgusted for him but I didn’t say a word.

“, Before getting to work make sure you stop at a pharmacy and get some meds for yourself. I know you’re naive and stupid, you must be told what to do Everytime yet you act like you’re smart, but in the actual sense you are dumb….”

I quietly entered the bathroom and washed off, when I came out he was still there.

I immediately started dressing hurriedly.

“… another thing is that no matter who the man is or whatever excuses you probably got for him please don’t let this happen again. You’re not permitted to move or relate with any other man romantically. Except if you are foolish and wants to see the other side of me. I’m very nice April but I hate to be toiled with. Respect both my presence and absence please, mingling with any man on whatever ground you may place it is cheating and disrespect and I won’t tolerate such from you…”

He was still talking when I got dressed and was about leaving when he asked.

“Hope you heard everything I said…”

“Yes, I heard you…”

“Good. Don’t forget to get the drugs at the pharmacy. I don’t want to hear any pathetic story of how you went throwing up or having cramps because you suspects pregnancy. You’re big enough to take care of yourself in that regards. So please, do the needful… hope you understand?

“Sure, I’m clear on that…”

I looked over at where my broken phone lay in pieces on the ground. I made attempt to go retrieve.

“Hey… what are you doing, where do you think you’re going?

“I want to pick my phone…” I replied pausing close to where the phone is.

“What for, so that you will find another means and continue communicating with your Phil?

“Is a broken phone Louise, I want to see if it can still work. How are we going to communicate without a phone. You won’t be able to reach me and I won’t be able to reach. I will probably take it to a repairer to fix

“Fine, go ahead and take it…” He finally said.

I put the phone in my bag and left.

I stopped by at a pharmacy and get some drugs.

I was very late to work that day, I gave excuses for coming late to work and my boss happen to be around.

“April, you know already that you’re among the staff here that I admire. Always punctual, neat and very customer friendly. You are among the workers that won the best staff of the year. Many staff here looks up to you, they want to follow in your footsteps. Coming very late to work without a call and your line wasn’t going through is not a thing. You’re the image of the company and need to be at your best at all time. If there is any reason that you had to come in late please try to put a call across. I will excuse today’s behavior but please let it not happen again…”

I was trying very hard to fight my emotions and hold back myself from crying.

I managed to thank her before going into the changing room to change into my working uniform and that was where I broke down and started crying

I released all the emotions that I have been holding in and allowed the tears to flow.

When I felt a little free I wiped off my face, got ready to face the day.

Within that day I try to turn on my phone but it wasn’t coming on again.

I borrowed my colleagues phone to make a call.

I try calling Phil because I had his number in my head but his number still wasn’t going through.

I finally made up my mind that Philip was a history and is time to face reality and move on.

Being strong and fighting whatever battle that I will have to face from now onwards alone and Louise is one hell of a battle I will have to fight with everything I got until he is defeated.