Jack Of All Trades (Erotica)

They turned their attention to Asha. “During the dinner you had with the Queen’s Facilitator Tanz you talked about your job as a Park Ranger, a custodian of nature?”

“That’s a nice way to put it,” Jack said with a smile.

“You explained that during the winters you were alone? For months?” she said with a gasp.

“Yes, the winters in the region I worked were bad and we’d have to work the four to five months alone,” Jack said, his voice holding an echo of that loneliness. He forced his shoulders back and smiled at the stunned faces of the couple. “My next job made up for that though because I was working as a pot scrubber in a chaotically busy restaurant in San Francisco’s Chinatown. So many people rushing back and forth and not so much talking as yelling constantly. I hardly talked at all but I absorbed the constant buzz of language and human motion. I lasted there for six months until one of the managers dropped by and realized I was the odd man so out I went.”

“They fired you because you were odd?” Ghen said in surprise.

“No, they kicked me out because I didn’t officially work there. Directly after being fired by the Ranger service so publicly no one would hire me. I was wandering around the alleys looking for something to eat. The cook of this restaurant took pity on me after he heard my story. He took me in and fed me. In return I washed the pots as the pot scrubber hadn’t shown up for work. When it got really busy and I proved I could keep up the cook let me stay. Luckily the original pot scrubber never returned. I slept in the back room and ate the discarded food the customers left on their plates. In that six months I worked really hard but more importantly, I disappeared from the public consciousness. When I was back out on the street looking for my next job Jack Danner wasn’t a name that instantly reminded people of the public humiliation. I got a job as a Sanitation Engineer though I had to do a lot of fancy talking to bluff my way into that job.” When he saw the blank looks from the couple. “With a large vehicle I collected garbage from the large containers behind the businesses and drove it to a place we dumped it.”

Ghen smiled. “You sound like Tyg. Except he moved from job to job looking for something that fulfilled him.”

“Maybe it wasn’t a search for a meaningful occupation that caused his wanderlust. Maybe he was just looking for someone who fulfilled him,” Jack suggested.

“More wisdom from the Love Doctor?” Asha said with a grin.

Jack moaned. “No, please let me address that. I’m sorry I ever put those two words together in a sentence. I wasn’t claiming to be one. I am not now nor have I ever been, a doctor. I just offered a few words of encouragement, I don’t even remember what they were. The Queen and King were the ones who found each other again. I am so glad they did.”

Becc was returning with a tray with their meals on it.

“Ah, it looks like our food is arriving. We can pick this up later?” Ghen asked and Jack nodded.

Ghen turned off the broadcast and the plates were distributed.

Jack was stunned by the size of the steak on his plate. It was bigger than both his hands side by side, fingers spread wide. He looked at Becc. “I don’t think I can eat this much steak!”

She smiled at him. “Eat as much or as little as you wish. No one else is going to eat it.”

Jack thought about that. He was the only meat eater on the planet… other than the Skrahak apparently. He gave her a nod and picked up his utensils. The knife he had wasn’t going to cut the meat. “Uh, Becc? Do you have a knife with a serrated edge to cut the meat?”

“Oh! I will get you one,” she said and rushed away.

While he waited he tried the vegetables. They were delicious! So fresh! “These are amazing! Are they grown nearby?”

“All of the food is grown in the farms beneath our feet. If you’d like I can give you a tour tomorrow,” Ghen said.

“I would love to see the farms!” Jack said with a big smile.

Becc returned with a wicked looking knife. “It’s a root cutter,” she explained.

He gave it a try and it did a reasonable job on the steak. He looked at the piece he’d cut free. It was hot with a slightly pink center. The real test. He raised the fork to his mouth and stopped halfway when he realized Becc was watching him with wide eyes. As was Ghen and Asha. Then he looked at the mesmerized faces at the tables around him. He glanced over at Gee and Bal and saw their disapproving scowls.

Meh.

He popped the morsel into his mouth and saw everyone jolt in unison. He ignored them and chewed slowly to capture the taste and textures. There was a slight elasticity to the meat like seafood but the taste was tangy bordering on spicy. He nodded happily and smiled to Becc first then shared the expression with the others watching. He swallowed and everyone jolted again.

“That was more difficult to watch than I expected!” Ghen remarked slowly.

Jack immediately felt bad. “I’m sorry. If this offends you I’ll just stick with the vegetables which are excellent!”

“No! Please! I can tell you are enjoying it and I shouldn’t have been watching you eat so closely anyway. Please enjoy.” Ghen exclaimed.

Jack received nods from Asha and Becc, the latter looking a little flustered as she headed back to the kitchen.

He turned back to his meal as did the others. It had been quite some time since he’d enjoyed a steak. The closest he got to meat on Altaria was fish which SennLann craved and raided from his plate if he ate too slowly. Now he had Zaina and Adina eyeing his plate those nights as well. He was going to have to stock up on more fish.

It wasn’t long before he reached his max and took one bite too many. He dropped his napkin over the plate to keep himself from eating more and pushed back a little from the table. Rubbing his full tummy he smiled at the mayor and his wife.

“It was enough?” she asked.

“A little bit more than enough. I’m stuffed! It was really good! Thank you!” Jack said with a sigh. This got grins from the couple.

“Good! Would you mind if we continued?” Ghen said pointing to the broadcast controls on the table.

Jack smiled and shook his head indicating he didn’t. The mayor pressed the button again.

“Hello, this is Mayor Ghen at South View with my lovely wife Asha for part two of our interview with our special guest Ambassador Jack Danner from Altaria and Earth. Humans are omnivores and we’ve just witnessed him enjoying a Skrahak steak. Not something we see every day on Chrystan. He also indicated that he very much enjoyed the vegetables grown here in Boon Falls. With your varied occupational history do you have any experience with farming yourself, Ambassador?”

“Please, call me Jack. The only farming I’ve done personally was in our family garden. In the neighborhoods I grew up in, my parents, all the parents in fact, had gardens in the small plots of land behind our homes. We needed to grow as much food as we could because we couldn’t afford to eat otherwise. Money was really limited even with everyone working at whatever jobs we could get. Farming on Earth by that point had been commercialized so there were extremely few independent farms left. The mega farms sold to the grocers but the entire mechanical process of harvesting and shipping meant the produce in the stores wasn’t as fresh. Certainly not as fresh as the stuff we grew at home and not as good as I ate tonight!”

“I’ll give you a tour of our farms tomorrow. I think you will be impressed,” Ghen said with a smile.

“I’m already impressed with the produce itself!” Jack grinned.

Asha leaned forward. “Not to change the subject but changing the subject,” she grinned, “I’m told you arrived with… skis? What are they and what do you do with them?”

“They are long slippery boards which connect to special shoes that allow us to glide along the surface of snow quickly and gracefully without sinking into it. We used them for recreation and fitness. I did some skiing a long time ago on Earth and I enjoyed it very much. I have to say this world is perfect for the sport. If you had a lift system for bringing skiers back up to the top of the slopes you could seriously have a very lucrative tourism based industry. The view and scenery is breathtaking. The food is amazing, and the accommodations are lovely. You’d probably have to expand if it becomes as popular as I think it might become. It was something I was going to speak with Minister Julli about at Tanz’s party but… other things… happened,” he finished awkwardly.

Asha giggled and Ghen grinned at him.

“Don’t worry, we aren’t going to put you on the spot and ask you questions about what tips you passed along to the attendees of that party,” Asha said with a grin.

Jack sighed in relief.

“They’ve already done their own interviews and sang your praises,” she continued.

Jack eyed her incredulously.

“One thing I would like to ask you about. My curiosity is driving me crazy. Are the gold caps on the tips of your horns ornamental or do they serve some purpose? They are lovely!” Ghen asked.

“Oh, thanks. They’re to protect others from the sharp points. The horn tips are deadly sharp. Self-sharpening I’ve been told. The caps keep these points hidden and my kids at home safe. I have two daughters who’ve made a game out of waking me up every morning. I don’t have to worry about them cutting themselves accidentally on my horns.”