It’s Just Business

My heart races as I jolt up from a dead sleep. I’m breathless with a lingering cold sweat as I take in my surroundings. Outside, the sky rumbles with thunder and lightning. The bright light cracks across the sky, and a moment later, as my pulse steadies, the grumble of the pitch-black night sky is barely heard in the distance.

It’s not the thunder that’s woken me, though. I know that much.

It’s something much more terrifying in its destructive power. Worse, it’s inside me.

I swallow thickly, checking my bedside clock. The bed groans slightly as she stirs in her sleep, and all at once, it comes back to me.

Raven.

My eyes settle on the gorgeous rise of her nude hip lying in my bed. If it were any other night, the sight of her bare back, lightly tanned skin, and gorgeous black hair cascading over the pillow would have me hard as a rock in seconds, ready to wake her and take her and hear her moan my name again and again. It’s the most addictive sound I’ve ever heard.

This time, there’s nothing but guilt, though.

That’s what this pained tightness in my chest must be. Guilt over what I’ve done, and what it’ll cost her. Even if she doesn’t know it yet, she’ll hate me when she finds out what I’ve done.

If only I could keep it a secret. If only I could take it back. But it was the only way out for us both.

If I were a better man, I’d tell her and let her leave, let her prepare herself for the storm that’s coming.

But I’m not that good.

I can’t let her go. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and with each encounter, I feel both damned and blessed.

After all, it was supposed to be just business. Nothing more than that. I thought I could resist her, keep her tucked securely into the cold, scarred landscape of my heart so that when the time was right, I could do what’s needed. But somewhere along the way, we became something more. What I feel is deeper and stronger than I thought myself capable of. And though I’ve done what I set out to do, all I truly want is her. I want all of her. But it’s already too late.

With guilt sinking into my chest, I settle down into the sheets, and her soft body molds to mine as if she’s meant to be here. Hell, tonight’s the first time she hasn’t slipped out of my house before the early hours. Once the sun rises and she finds out what I’ve done, it very well may be the last time.

I want nothing more than to dream of her and wake up with her in my arms so I can wake her up with my tongue, bringing her to the trembling edge of orgasm and having the first words on her lips be my name.

Her phone buzzes, and she stirs. Her phone goes off a third time, this time making an audible ping sound, but before she can wake up, I reach over to the other side of the bed and pick it up to silence the phone.

As I turn the screen over, the little ‘bubble’ stays up, and I see his name. Her fucking ex. The prick who set all of this into motion. “Dylan?”

She’s turned over with sleep in her eyes. I put her phone back and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s okay, darling,” I whisper, lying down next to her as if everything is alright, feeling her warm skin against mine. “Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.”

“Oh,” she murmurs, nestling into my arms. “I should go.”

“Stay the night,” I whisper, holding her close. Before she can protest, I kiss the curve of her neck, my desire for her making my cock stir.

A simper slips across her lips as she murmurs, “that’s why you want me to stay,” her gaze dropping below the sheets.

My heart pounds, and I wish I could tell her. But selfishness quiets my tongue. This might be my last chance, so I need to have as much of her now as I can before everything falls apart and I lose her forever.

Does that make me as evil as some have suggested I am? Perhaps. But if I were purely evil, I wouldn’t be capable of remorse, would I? So there may be more to me than even I think myself capable of.

That thought is too heavy for tonight, when our time together is short, so I focus on the here and now as I gather Raven closer to my chest and press a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep, darling.”

All I want is to go back and start over. If I’d known I would fall for her, I never would have set us up to be destroyed.