It Happened Last Year

His question lingers in the air as I peer up. Daniels’ eyes are fixated on me. Just before I can say anything, I hear a familiar noise coming from downstairs. My heart jolts and I scoot away from him, into the openness of my room. “That’s my mom.” Daniel is about to respond, but instead, I hurry him into the closet. “She can’t see you. Wait in here until I say so.”

“I can’t meet her?” He asks, and I almost laugh.

“Trust me, you don’t want to. Though, if you’ve ever been arrested you might already know each other. Now stay,” I order before closing the door, leaving him in darkness. He did kiss me when I asked him not to, so this can be my payback.

“Hailey, are you home?” She calls out through the house, and I yell back a ‘yes.’ As usual, she sets down her things and comes upstairs to change. I peek through the crack in my door, hoping she doesn’t stop at my room before heading to hers. I was hoping she’d stay a bit later like she usually does, but I suppose the work at the station got done early.

I watch my mother as she walks down the hall and closes her bedroom door behind her. Swiftly, I hurry Daniel out of the closet, out of my room, and down the stairs. Just as we reach the front door and I open it for him, he surprisingly pulls me outside. Slowly and silently he closes the door behind us, leaving me questioning. “What are you doing?”

“Saying goodbye,” he mutters before placing his lips on mine once again. This time it’s quick, a little more pressure, and his fingers drag along my jaw until they reach my chin, then he sets me free. I stand speechless as he gets into his car and drives away. He just thinks he can kiss me whenever he pleases, doesn’t he?

I roll my eyes and sneak back through the door, not as stealthily as I thought.

“Who was that?”

I look up to see my mother standing on the stairs. Her arms are crossed, and she does not look impressed. “My friend, Daniel,” I improvise.

“Why was he in your bedroom? And when I’m not home? God, Hailey. Do you think I’m an idiot? Did you think you could sneak him past me like that?”

I shrink under her harsh gaze. She’s perched above me like a vulture, reading to pick at my remains. “He was here for five minutes. He drove me home from the basketball game.”

My mother raises an eyebrow. “I thought you were going with Jana? And where is your car?”

“I did go with Jana. Daniel met us at her house. We’re all friends,” I lie, “and my car is at Jana’s because we took Daniels car to the school.” My story is getting jumbled up, confusing me a little. “Daniel dropped Jana off and then me.”

“So why was he in your room?”

I panic, spitting out whatever I can think of. “I had his jacket from another day and he came to get it back. I told him that it was in my room so he just came up to get it with me. It’s really not that big of a deal.”

“And when are you getting your car back?”

“Jana’s driving it over tomorrow morning,” I finish, everything explained, hopefully to her liking.

“You know, Hailey,” she starts, seeming a little more relaxed, “after the whole Harrison story last year, let’s just keep a low profile, okay? I don’t think you realize that your actions affect other people. I still get looks from people around town, and as a police officer, I need respect, not stares. Let’s not start anything more, alright?”

My heart sinks, heavy in my chest as she piles more faults onto it. I fight myself to stay calm, to not cry or blow up at her. A simple nod, and then I move past her on the stairs to find acceptance in the emptiness of my bedroom.

I shut the door slowly, then lock it, taking a deep breath once I am alone. In this comfort, I find myself breaking down, sliding against the door until I hit the floor with a small thud. As I begin to cry, stray tears rolling down my cheeks, down my neck, I can still smell him. His addictive scent lingers in the air, and I find it soothing. When I close my eyes, it is like he is still here, his eyes drifting from a picture frame to a pile of books, to my once lipstick-filled mirror, to my bedding. Daniel stared at my bed. I can’t help but imagine it.

What we would have done if I wasn’t like this.

My eyebrows scrunch together as I sniffle, my fingers wiping the itching tears from my skin. Part of me wishes he was still here, that my mother would have never come home at all. He would kiss me again, I know that. God, I love his kisses. They are nothing like Mr. Russ’-for one they are wanted-but Daniel’s are gentle, technical, and feel as if they have a purpose. I don’t feel suffocated or violated, he’s not attacking me, he is just simply kissing me.

For some reason he’s attracted to me, or so he says.

I can’t wait to see him tomorrow. It’s going to be difficult to handle myself in front of him now that he knows, considering Harrison sits a few tables away. I wonder how he’s going to handle Harrison, no punching of course, but even I’m not sure how he’s going to react. But for all I know, Daniel could and will attack him as soon as he sees him.

I can’t have him getting suspended again.

Resting my head against the door, I sigh.

I am attached, I am so very attached to him. It’s like we’re handcuffed together. I can’t help it. How can I when he says such things to me and kisses me in those ways?

Daniel is addictive, and I am so very addicted.