In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

Matt calls me to come to the kitchen that he is already having breakfast. I look back and don’t like how it feels to see them so close together.

I want to concentrate on what Matt is saying about a possible trip he has to take in the next few days, but I still have a little attention attached to that room where those two are.

I hear Katie calling me, I walk into the room and see that Yan is no longer there.

She just says: “Me and Yan are going out.” I just say okay. She then walks over and says right next to my ear: “Could I borrow the keys to your apartment?” And I realize what they are after as soon as she finishes asking me.

She adds: “I forgot mine in my purse. I promise we’ll be back before you want to go home again.” She blinks at me, as she crosses her fingers in promise.

I take a deep breath. “It’s okay.” She hugs me as if I had given her the world.

Yan comes out of his room and his eyes meet mine, but quickly he shifts them to Katie who smiles back as if that smile has meaning and… Shit! I know what it means and I don’t like it!

He walks past me to her. He has an arm around her waist now, as she says goodbye and thanks me with a whisper.

Before they walk out the door, Yan takes a quick look at me and I realize something:

Is he trying to make me jealous?

He just bites his lower lip and I swear I can see a smile at the corner of his mouth. Damn it! Who does he think he is?

What kind of fucking game is this?

Why is this pissing me off so much?

Is he getting what he wants?

Making me jealous of him? Oh, shit! As much as it hurts deeply to admit it…

He is succeeding!

Matt watches TV in the living room, while I finish washing some glasses that were in the kitchen sink. And I swear I hate to imagine that those two are now in my apartment doing God knows what. I think I know exactly what they are doing and it makes me squeeze the sponge in a not-so-friendly way between my fingers.

I take a deep breath. I haven’t been able to get along since this kid got here. One moment he is super cool and the next he seems to be playing a game that I don’t know and don’t understand the rules of. I only know one thing: For some reason, he wants me to die of jealousy of him. But that’s not going to happen, and it’s not going to get easy for him.

…

Katie and Yan arrive just after we finish lunch. They say they have already eaten somewhere and Yan laughs. I roll my eyes, but don’t let anyone notice.

…

In the afternoon we are in the living room watching TV. Yan and Katie are on the other couch, he is lying on her lap and Matt is sitting next to me with his arm around my body.

And I hate that I can’t stop myself from peeking at Yan out of the corner of my eye. I know that this is just a silly attraction for my boyfriend’s little brother. I know that I love Matt too much, but I can’t help what I’m feeling. As much as I don’t want to use Matt for my plan, I do, because in a way it will be fun for him too if you know what I mean.

I walk over to Matt’s ear and say softly: “Don’t you want to go to your room and do something more fun? He has a chuckle on his face I love it when he smiles like that because it brings out a dimple on the left side of his face.

He turns to me and starts kissing me. I know that we are drawing attention to those two over there, but I don’t care. I know that Yan is looking at us, especially when Katie says with a laugh: “You better go to finish that in a room over there!” Matt lifts me in a hug and says to Katie: “Good idea!” I look at Yan out of the corner of my eye. He’s not looking at us, but he doesn’t look like the happiest person in the world either, as he pretends to be very focused on something that’s playing on TV.

…

After yesterday afternoon, Yan and I haven’t spoken to each other since. It has been a few hours since I dropped Katie off at the airport to catch a flight back to her city.

She and Yan said goodbye on their way, to his room.

I asked Matt to come to my apartment after we left for dinner. I didn’t want to have to hear what I didn’t want to hear, coming from that room there. I don’t know if they will continue with what they had here, from what Katie told me this was all more of an adventure. But I don’t want to think about that. I just want for the moment, to forget that they did anything inside my apartment and stop frowning at every corner of this place, as I imagine these scenes. … A few days later… I went ahead with my plan to ignore Yan’s presence and make myself comfortable around Matt. I was afraid to even kiss Matt when he was around, thinking that he might be embarrassed, but now I don’t care anymore.

…

Yan arrives in the afternoon after work with his hand around the waist of a blonde girl. He asks her to come in and introduces us: “This is Cassie, my girlfriend!” I see Katie was just a fling anyway.

…

Well if I wasn’t worried about kissing Matt in front of Yan, I guess he thinks so too about almost screwing his new girlfriend in front of us.

But if Matt rolls his eyes when I look at him to see what he thinks, well, I won’t give a shit either.

Well… I just wish I thought so. From the looks of it, Yan’s dating is getting kind of serious, they’ve been together for over two months now.

Cassie is not the worst person in the world, but what she doesn’t have in intelligence, well… she has in breasts. …

I forgot a folder that I use at work and I decide to go to Matt’s apartment to get it because I called Matt and he said he saw her there.

I know there is no one there because at this time Matt is at work and so is Yan. I go up the stairs because the elevator is taking too long and I am in a hurry.

I take the keys from my purse and put them in the lock, I open the door and see a scene that I didn’t expect. Yan and Cassie are on the couch in the living room.

They are naked.

I stand there static as I stare at this noisy, sweaty scene and when I realize what I am witnessing, Cassie looks in my direction and then pushes Yan who stares at her without understanding what is going on. He then looks at me, but my eyes don’t stay on his for long, they go down and down some more and stop right there.

I know my hands have already been all over that certain part of his body, but seeing him from another angle makes me realize that the size I tried to draw in my mind never did justice to reality. I raise my eyes back to his and he doesn’t seem the least bit embarrassed to be caught like this.

Cassie apologizes a thousand times as she wraps herself in a sheet. I put my hand to my eyes and say: “It’s okay Cassie. I apologize, I didn’t know you would be here.” Yan finally takes a towel and wraps it around his body.

Cassie says she goes to her room to get dressed.

I go to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Seconds later I turn around to find him still wearing only that towel.