In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

It feels strange to be here again after what happened, but I push those memories out of my mind. The whole room smells of Yan, actually the smell of his perfume. I look around and see some magazines, a notebook, some CDs, and the bed all messed up with the sheets. It is not nice, however, to see some books that I know for sure are Tracy’s and a coat on the armchair that I also know is hers. I don’t like to like it here. The bad thing about all this is that Yan is very bipolar. How could he say those things to me like yesterday, and today look at me like that seconds ago, like he’s not the idiot he is? It’s hard to hate him. But it’s a job I make sure I have. I turn to open the bathroom door fully, but it’s the bedroom door that opens first, I turn, and it’s Matt, sigh relieved. He says: “Yan is in the room, and I’m going to take a cold shower anyway because I got a call from Megan, and I’m going to have to go meet her in a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable and as soon as you’re done I’ll be in the room, maybe I can take you home before I meet her.” “All right, I’ll walk fast, I promise.” He turns and closes the door. Megan is one of Matt’s co-workers, she’s nice, but this whole thing about them having work even on the weekend is horrible. Yan’s bathroom is like a normal men’s room, not much in comparison to Matt’s bathroom, which is already almost my own because it has most of my cosmetics lying around. I take off my clothes and step into the shower stall, turning on the hot shower and I love the feeling of letting the tiredness of my entire body drain away. As soon as I am done with his soap, by the way, I see the bathroom door open. I remove the soap from my face to be sure of what I am seeing. I open part of the shower stall to find myself face to face with Yan. Furthermore, I look at him, and he looks at me calmly. I say: “But what do you….” He interrupts me: “You don’t have to stress, it’s okay. Tracy’s waiting for me and I need to brush my teeth, that’s all.” He looks again at the sink in front of him as he puts toothpaste on his toothbrush. I still stare at him in disbelief. But he ignores me and starts brushing his teeth. I close the shower stall. I take a deep breath. Likewise, I can see the perfect silhouette of his shirtless body on the other side, and that means he can also see me naked here. Not only that, but I cross my hands over my chest instinctively, but seconds later realize that it won’t do any good. If he is acting like this is something common and normal, well, so can I. I turn on the shower and start to get rid of the suds. I hear him turn on the sink and I think he’s finished. Furthermore, I thank the heavens. But I also see that he turns off the sink and stares for a few seconds in the mirror, or is he looking at me? I can’t be certain, the glass in the shower stall is too foggy, but I turn around and don’t look in his direction anymore I hear the door close soon after. I turn off the shower and breathe normally again. It’s sad to still be like this when he’s around. I take my towel and dry myself off. I go to put on my clothes, but I can’t find my bra. Likewise, I could swear I walked in here with him. Not only that, but I look around and find nothing. Maybe I took it from Matt’s room. I leave the bathroom already preparing myself to bump into him in his room, but as soon as I do, I see that there is no one there, not bad. I leave his room and realize that he is in the kitchen, already dressed with a shirt and with his hair, much better than when we woke him up. Likewise, I go to Matt’s room, and he is finishing getting dressed and says he needs to leave quickly. He kisses me quickly on the lips and says that he has already asked Yan to drop me home with his car. Mentally, I just say: “What?” He leaves and Yan turns to me as he brings his glass of juice to his mouth. Before I walked back into Matt’s room, I could swear that Yan had one of those usual smiles on his lips. As soon as I enter the room, I look everywhere for my bra. At least Matt’s room is well-organized, but I really can’t find my bra. What a mess! I look at my shirt which unfortunately is a light gray color, and you can pretty much tell that I really need my bra because my breasts are almost showing. I hear knocking at the door. Yan says on the other side: “Can we go?” I just take my jeans jacket and get dressed, at least it disguises the fact that I have to go out without a bra. I’m going straight home, so I don’t have to worry about that. Furthermore, I leave the room and close the door behind me. Yan is already standing near the exit door. As I walk toward him holding a bag of clothes in my hand, he’s watching me walk toward him, but he’s looking at one part in particular, at the height of my chest and, Shit! Instinctively, I bring my hand to close the front of the jacket, but he is still looking, and it makes me totally uncomfortable, I give up closing and get close to him, I pass by him and hold the door handle while I say: “Come on, weren’t you rushing?” I swear he laughs as he closes the door behind me. I come to a conclusion as we walk down the stairs in silence. Yan grabbed my bra when he went into the bathroom at that hour. I get into the car, still in silence. He didn’t come with any jokes, and I thank heaven for that. He puts on a pair of sunglasses, which adds a certain charm, but I turn forward, and we stare at the still silent traffic. Furthermore, he looks at me a few times and then moves his eyes down to my shirt. Then I turn to him and say: “Did you took my bra, Yan?” He looks at me and says: “What?” The way he reacts to my question makes me wonder if I’m really sure about this. But I am. I went into that bathroom with my bra. I think. Likewise, I turn again to the traffic ahead, and he says: “Why do you think I took it?” “Because I was in the bathroom before you went in there.” “Are you sure?” “Well, almost absolutely.” He looks at me and I look back. He is smiling when he realizes that I am not so sure and looks straight ahead again. Likewise, he then says: “Don’t worry, you look good like this.” Then he looks at my shirt again and completes: “Okay.” He smiles. Then my certainty increases even more that it was him.

I turn forward again and say: “Childish.” He just replies: “Old woman.” I look at him who looks at me smiling even more and I cross my arms in irritation and look forward, and he says: “Who’s being childish now?” I go to answer something, but he says: “We’ve arrived.” I just turn around to realize that we are. I just say: “Great.” I open the door and just as I’m about to close it, he takes off his glasses and says to me: “Won’t you thank me?” I look at him for a moment. There are several things I could say to wipe the silly smile off his face, but I choose to say only: “Thank you, Yan.” There’s a lot between the lines, and he knows it because he smiles with satisfaction at how much he’s annoyed me in the few words we’ve exchanged along the way. I’m about to turn to enter the building when I hear the car door close, turn around, and he has just left and says: “Oh, I forgot that Matt asked me to pick up a document that he left with you.” It was too good to be true to get rid of him like that.