Holding on to you

Killian’s P. O. V

Naked and all mine, just the way I like her.

She was lying in my arms with her head rested on my chest, she been having a really hard time accepting that she took someone’s life. Her nightmares were the worst; she would wake up in the middle of the night crying and shaking. It pissed me off that there was something that frightened her and I was unable to do anything about it!

The other thing that was causing her distress, were her parents. They haven’t talked to her since seeing her kick JD’s ass. I didn’t understand them and their hypocrisy, they condemned her for doing exactly what they would have done and have done before.

After we all made it out of the warehouse, we headed back to where the cars were parked. The things that her parents said pissed me off so much that I wanted to f**king shoot them.

Flashback

“What have you done to my baby girl, what have you turned her into?”

It took everything in me not to shoot her father, it didn’t bother me that he didn’t like me, but for him to imply that there was something wrong with Red, didn’t sit well with me.

“Just because you’re my wife’s father doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t put a bullet in you. So, stop f**king looking at her like she disgusts you!”

Marco took his eyes off of his daughter to glare at me and I glared right back. I knew he intended to intimidate me, but after living with a scum like my father nothing much intimidates me anymore.

“You took my innocent daughter and corrupted her, turned her into something that I don’t quite like. You’re no better than your father, you stole her innocence!”

That comparison he made about me and my father, pissed me the f**k off. I was nothing like that bastard! Yes, I was ruthless, but I was also fair, and I don’t take a life unless I have to.

“I did what was necessary to keep her alive! You think hiding away like cowards, and keeping your kids in the dark about who and what you are would have protected them when your enemies finally came knocking? I taught her to protect and defend herself, something you should have done!”

Lilly squeezed my hand, I looked away from her father to look at her. I was so filled with rage; I was afraid that I might hit the ignorant son-of-a-bitch. However, when she gave me a timid smile, I felt myself calm down because I knew that she was on my side. If it ever comes down to it and war broke out, I knew she’d have my back, she’s one of two people that I trusted to protect my back.

“You did what was necessary?! Was it also necessary for you to force my daughter into a relationship with you, to force her to have sex with you?!”

Lilly looked away from me and at her mother, her face was red from embarrassment and shock. I looked at both Marco and Lilith with amusement, I couldn’t figure out what they hoped to achieve by pissing me off.

“I won’t deny forcing her into a relationship with me, but I never forced her to have sex with me, that she did of her own free will, and yes, it was necessary.”

I heard Lilly gasped beside me and Mik swore behind me, and I couldn’t help smirking when I heard what Mik said next.

“You don’t say shit like that to your girl’s parents.”

Mik knew what I’m like, I don’t feel the need to hold my tongue when I speak because I don’t owe anyone shit.

Marco looked like he wanted to hit me and I laughed, I almost wanted him to. After the way he and his wife killed my mother, I would enjoy beating the f**k out of him.

“You’re a f**king psycho just like your god damn father! I’m not sure what he told you, but I’m betting he said that it was ‘necessary’ when he kidnapped and raped your mother when she was only fifteen.”

I’m almost never caught off guard, I pride myself on knowing what to expect at all times, but that just threw me off balance, and as much as I tried not to let it show, I knew Marco saw it. He smirked at me, seeing that I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Ah, so you didn’t know that you were the product of rape. I shouldn’t expect deferent from the son of a rapist, taking women against their will is in your blood.”

“Dad, stop it, please!”

I said nothing, I held my emotion in check and wore my blank mask. I didn’t know if what Marco said was true, but I had every intention of finding out.

Lilly and her parents were talking but I never heard any of it, my mind was on my mother. I started to question all of what I believed. Did she even love me? How could she stand to be around the child of the man that raped her, why did she stay with him for more than two years?

But then I thought of Red, and I realised that even if my mother wanted to leave, my father would never have let her. He’d prefer to kill her than let her walk away from him.

In that instance, I realised that I was more like my father than I ever wanted to be, and in that instance, I hated myself just as much as I hated him!

Flashback end

“Stop punishing yourself, you’re nothing like your father.”

I blinked and looked at Lilly, she was no longer lying on the bed but sitting and watching me. She held the cover over her breast to conceal her nakedness, and her wild red hair that was growing fast fell about her shoulders.

She watched me with those intense blue eyes of hers, and again I was struck by how beautiful she is.

“How can you be so sure of that after the way I stole you?”

A frown formed on her face, but instead of looking upset, she looked adorable. I knew that she was just trying to make me feel better, but every time I thought about what her parents said, I kept seeing a lot of my father in myself.

My father stole my mother’s life and innocence, and as much as Lilly might deny it, I did the same to her. However, I still couldn’t find it in myself to regret any of it, and that’s what pissed me off because I knew my father felt the same way.

She dropped the bed cover that she was using to cover herself and cross the bed to straddle me. I grabbed her hips and positioned myself in a sitting position. Her soft hands found its way to my face and she leant in, placing a light kiss on my lips.

When she pulled away I just looked at her. All the trust and love I saw in her eyes caused my heart to stir. I couldn’t explain what it was that I felt for her, but I knew that I felt something really strong and possessive.

“Killian, you never stole me, I give myself to you. We might have started off on the wrong setting, but our relationship is different from your parents.”

She smiled timidly at me and looked away from a second, but brought her eyes back to me.

“If I remember correctly, I sold myself to you for your help in keeping my brother safe. Yes, you are a little controlling…”

I cocked a brow at her and she laughed and amended her words, “… okay, you are a lot controlling, but I never once felt like you raped me. I used to be upset with myself because of how much I liked being touched by you. We were meant for each other, Killian, you just helped me to realise it. Granted, in a rather unconventional way, but I love you for it.”

She looked at me with so much hope and fear at the same time. She badly wanted me to believe that I’m a good person, but what she didn’t know is, I would have eventually taken her whether she agreed to it or not.

I let my hands travel from her hips and up her body, not stopping until they were embedding in her hair. Tugging slightly until she hissed in pain, I pulled her face closer to mine. I looked deeply into her eyes as I spoke, I wanted her to understand that, a good person I was not.

“Make no mistake, Red, if you hadn’t asked for my help when you did, it would’ve only been a matter of time before I took you. I never had any intention of letting you have a life where I wasn’t the centre of it.”

I saw confusion and fear enter her eyes before she pushed it away and a determined glint took over.

“I don’t think you would have done it, you’re not the type of person that would be in a relationship where you have to force the person to have sex with you.”

I chuckled at her stubbornness, but I decided to let her have her illusion because I knew better. There’s a lot of things that I’ve done that I thought I’d never do, but when it comes to her all bets are off.

As I claim her lips and her body with mine, I thought about what she said, but even that didn’t convince me that I wasn’t my father’s son. I knew deep down that if it had come to it, I would have done exactly what my father did if it meant having Red all to myself.

“Three weeks, Red, that’s all the time I’m letting you have with your parents, after which I will be coming to get you, understood?”

She nodded her head, but she couldn’t contain the happy grin on her face. I love seeing her smiling and happy, it just made me want to bring the sky down and lay it at her feet.

“Only three weeks, I promise.”

I grabbed her bags out of the car and walked with her to the house that her parents were staying in. It was a reasonably big house, but nothing that would stand out or draw attention to them.

When I first agreed to let Lilly stay with her parents, they insisted that they would pick her up and take her to their home, but I refused. There just wasn’t any way that I was letting them take her to a house where the location was unknown to me.

After nearly changing my mind twice, they finally agreed to have me drop her off and have three of my men guard her at all times. I wasn’t about to take any chances with her life.

Her mother opened the door before we reached it and smiled, but I could tell that it was strained. She didn’t want me there any more than I wanted to be there.

I ignored her and turned Lilly to face me, I needed her to know the rules and extract a promise from her that she will follow them at all times.

“Three weeks!”

She nodded her head and I continued, “Don’t try to ditch your detail and for the love of God, don’t do anything that will get you hurt or killed. If Liam is to report to me anything that I don’t like, make no mistake, I will come and get you. Do I make myself clear?”

She nodded her head briskly and straightened her shoulders and said in a very official manner, “Yes Sir, master Sir!”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or drag her back in the car and drive away with her, but I was more leaning to the latter.

After I showed her that I was not amused she sobered up and wrapped her hands around my neck.

“Stop worrying, I promise to follow all of your rules, even though I think they’re silly.”

I growled out at her, “Red!”

She rolled her eyes, “Alright, alright, I’ll be a good girl and stay in sight of all the nice creepy, scary-looking men that are desperately trying to blend in but failing horribly.”

I saw Liam shifted uncomfortably, and I gave her a warning look but again she just rolled her eyes. However, instead of repeating what the consequences of her not following the rules would be, I pulled her to me and kissed her instead.

I pulled back and watched her walked over to her mother, I never moved until she was safely inside. It took everything in me to walk away and leave her there, but I did.

However, I was halfway to the car when I heard her calling out to me, and I turned just in time to catch her as she threw herself into my arms.

“Baby, are you ok?”

She buried her head in my shirt and nodded her head, her hands around me tightened and I held on to her just the same.

I heard her soft sobs and it worried me, “Red, baby, why are you crying, tell me what’s wrong?”

After a while, she pulled away from me and looked at me with puffed-up eyes, her lips where pouted like a sad child.

“I just realised that I’m not going to see you for three whole weeks… are you sure you can’t stay?”

I sighed and kissed her head, “As much as I might want to, I can’t. You need to spend some time with your family without me being around, and I need to go and take care of some things in my family. After the three weeks are over, I promise to never let you out of my sight again, ok?”

The tears started to flow afresh and I used my thumb to wipe them away. leaning forward, I rested my head against hers.

“I love you, Killian.” She whispered softly.

“I know you do,” I replied.

Kissing her one last time, I told her to go into the house and stay there because I wasn’t sure I could let her walk away from me if she came back out a second time.

When I was sure she wasn’t coming back out, I turned to Liam to let him know what would become of him if he failed to protect her.

“I’m placing my life in your hands, do not f**k this up or I won’t hesitate to f**k you up, do I make myself clear?”

Liam nodded, “Crystal, Boss.”

Glad that he understood what I meant, I got into my car with the intention of ending a few family ties of my own, starting with my father!