His Soul & His Shame

I am currently sitting in front of my parents who are looking at me expectantly. I have gathered them here by texting them when they are at work and when I need to talk. Both reached home at the same time looking so concerned for me that I cried hugging them. They got more concerned seeing me crying without any reason as I have never cried in front of them other than the times when I was a kid and I am not saying that I have been a responsible mature adult but still I am not a kid anymore so the crying part surprised them.

After a lot of convincing from my side that I was just on my period and nothing more, they let it go.

Mum made us coffee and the three of us sat in the living room. Why am I so nervous? It's not like I am telling them that I am pregnant.

"Umm, Mum? Dad?" I called out to them to gain their attention. They looked calm from the outside but I know they are feeling everything but calm.

"Yes, Fay?" Mum asked, sitting beside me and holding my hand. Why is this feeling so emotional? Am I doing the right thing for me or avoiding Ezra? I don't know what is the reason behind it but I am sure about one thing and that is to move away from here because if I don't move physically from here then I will be broken to the point where I can't be repaired.

"I know that I have been making you two worry because of the fiasco I made when I didn't come home and stayed at Joanna's and now I called you from the middle of your work." I started blabbering like a car with no breaks feeling so guilty about myself and how I am worrying them with my actions.

"Fay! Don't be guilty of the things which were not in your control." My mom said sitting beside me and rubbing my back soothingly. Her touch always calms me down and her jasmine scent made me forget every worry and problem in an instant.

"I... I decided to go to New York and I got an offer from a university where I can learn what I love and which is being a Chef and this opportunity will help me to open my own restaurant, Mom and Dad." When I looked at them, they have tears in their eyes but at the same time, they are smiling so big which made me relax and feel happy that they are not upset or angry.

"Uh-huh! Don't make that face, Young lady. I know that you thought that we would be upset with you when you told us the news but you are wrong. We will always be happy with whatever you do and decide." Hearing those words from my dad made me break down in my mom's arms.

Everything which happened between Ezra and me and the decision I made to go away from here came crashing down on me. I started sobbing so hard about Ezra's betrayal and the pain of leaving my parents behind. I know what I am doing is selfish on my part but I have to move away from Ezra to breathe properly, I just can't be his puppet forever.

"Shhh, You did the right thing baby, and don't regret anything in your life because without mistakes we can't learn a thing. So, get up with a smile and pack up." Mom placed a kiss on my forehead wiping the tears from my face. I am so lucky to have parents who support me in everything.

"Thank you so much, I don't know what I would have done without you guys." I hugged mom and dad too joined in our hug. I am going to miss them a lot and I know that they will come and visit me frequently even if they have busy schedules.

I just have to tell Joanna that I am moving away from home. I don't know how she is going to react to the news and I hope she takes it positively. Joanna and my parents are the only people who are important to me. I don't want to include Ezra in my life anymore.

He is going to throw a tantrum when he gets to know that I left him without informing him but I don't care anymore. I just have to be careful not to get caught by him before I leave here.

"Okay, Mum and Dad! I am going to call Joanna and will go shopping." I got up from the couch and gave them kisses on the cheeks and took the stairs to go to my room.

I dialed her number and waited for her to answer. Sometimes she won't pick up because of her laziness. If she doesn't pick it up now then I have to go to her house again to get her. "What is it again! Fay?" She groaned into the phone and I can guarantee that she has a big scowl on her face and is just laying on the bed doing nothing.

"Ugh, you are a big lazy bum! Do you know that?" I laughed, hearing her groan in annoyance.

"Someone has sucked up all my energy by being a baby." She called out, imitating a baby voice.

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"I was not being a baby, Joey!" I know that she doesn't like to be called Joey. I stopped myself from laughing out loud by the silence from her side. She is looking for words to attack me.

"I don't have a mood for your childish jokes, so tell me why you called." I laughed out loud now at her annoyance. She doesn't like to drag anything, whether it be fights or conversations. I am going to miss annoying her.

"

Okay, listen! I have to talk to you about something. So, you better get to my house in five minutes." I blabbered out in a single breath waiting for her answer. Please don't say no, please don't say no. I am praying inside that she doesn't say no.

"Okay, I will be there in ten minutes, not five minutes." She ended the call without waiting for my answer and that ladies and gentlemen is my unemotional best friend who doesn't do well with all the feelings and emotions.

I hurriedly got up and went into the bathroom to freshen up. She will be here in ten minutes and she won't wait even for a second more. I washed my face and got a hoodie and skinny jeans. Applied a thin layer of makeup and lip gloss and by the time I was wearing my sneakers, Joanna was blaring up the horn in front of the house. If I don't go out and stop her then she is going to get arrested for noise pollution.

I said goodbye to my mum who was on the couch and left the house. I am starting this new journey with positivity and I hope nothing will stop me from moving on.