Chapter 18
Nicole Vargas
“It’s crazy how we went from pretend relationship to real relationship so fast.” I laughed as I took a bite of the chicken wing. We sat in the living room couch eating our Thai food. It was a great night. The curtains of the huge windows were open so that the moonlight shone into our living room.
After our order was ready we immediately drove home, because we were both starving. I haven’t had breakfast this morning and for lunch, I only drank a Macchiato. The meeting had made Ethan hungry because since it was unannounced he didn’t order refreshments.
Surprisingly I really loved Thai food. It was so rich in seasoning. Very different than other foreign dishes I have tried.
“I know right.” Ethan laughed, leaning over to wipe sauce off my face. He was so attentive and sweet. “What do you think about food? Should we get it more often?”
I let out a loud moan to show him how much I really loved it. “It’s so good and yes definitely. Thai is my new favorite.”
“I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend now. A real one may I add.” He nudged me from the side and winked.
I rolled my eyes and chuckled lightly. “I don’t even know why you wanted to do the pretend one. Looking back it’s so childish and stupid.”
“Not for me. For me, it was to find out if I really wanted you in my life or not. What I said about Rose is only partially true. Yes, she’s sick, but now she didn’t care if I had a girlfriend or not.”
I figured that last part out. “And, did you find out if you want me in your life?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow up at him. I was curious now.
“I don’t really know yet.” He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. “This is our trial. I’m supposed to find out if you are really worth it sometimes along the way.”
I felt so uncomfortable when he said that. It felt like I was a thing, instead of a human with feelings. If he considers this relationship a trial, what will happen then? If he doesn’t like it, what is he going to do? Unsubscribe?
“You know that I’m also a person with feelings right. If you consider this relationship a trial, I’m the one that’s going to get hurt the most, because you will basically… what? Unsubscribe to me?” My voice became lower in the last part. “In a relationship, I either give my all or nothing. There’s no in-between.”
Ethan stayed silent for a while as he stirred the leftover Pad Thai on his plate. “Look, Nicole you are a big risk–,”
“I’m not a fucking business deal, what do you mean?” My voice raised an octave. We weren’t even twenty-four hours in a relationship and we are already having our first argument. But maybe, that’s good. We should clear out our misunderstandings before we continue to the next step. “Geez,…” I threw my hands in the air and let out a loud exasperated sigh.
“I didn’t say you were a business deal. I’m saying that you are way out of my league. You are not the type of girl I use to date or would ever consider dating—”
“Oh well, glad to know that. I will step out of this relationship right now. Thanks for telling me.” I interrupted him and placed my plate loudly on the table. I felt anger rising up in me.
“You are not even listening to me.” Ethan groaned as he grabbed me by my waist and pushed me back on the couch.
“Ethan!”
“You don’t even let me finish my sentence, stubborn girl. You are not the type of girl I am used to date or would ever consider dating, but I would love to try damn it. My relationships with other girls never worked out, so maybe that’s a sign to try something new.”
“I hate the way you’re talking or saying it,” I said through gritted teeth. “You talk like I’m some sort of dish on the menu.”
“Oh, but you are a dish on the menu. To be more specific, the only dish on my menu.” He placed a wet kiss on my cheek.
“Ethan!” I yelled out laughing. “Ew, there’s sauce on my cheekbone. ”
“That’s your new highlighter, princess. That’s where you put highlighter right?”
I looked surprised up at him. “That’s so true, how’d you know that?”
“Veronika used to—,” He stopped halfway when he saw that the smile on my face dropped. “I’m sorry, never mind.”
“No!” I said and shook my head. “It’s time I should know about her.”
Ethan became silent. Dead silent. He just stared at his plate. Now I got more curious about this whole Veronika thing. What the hell did he have with her?
“Ethan…” I nudged him softly at the side. “What happened? It’s time you actually tell me.”
“A lot happened, Nicole.” His voice was low, almost painful. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“And when will you actually talk about it to me?” I questioned.
Now he looked up at me. He caressed my face and a small smile appeared on his face. “Maybe someday or maybe never.”
“Ethan…” I whispered softly. “What did she do to you or what did she do for you?”
“A lot.”
A deafening silence followed after that. I wanted to know more about Veronika and he didn’t want to tell me anything. She either hurt him so badly or he just can’t get over her. It’s either one of them. The way he still talks about her, I think it’s more the latter one. And it scares me, because what if she comes back?
“Hey princess,” Ethan waved his hand in front of my face. I was zoning out. “Don’t think too much. You’re mine and that’s all that matters.”
“I just—,”
“Do you want me to play the piano?” He asked, putting his plate on the table. He stood up and stretched his hand out at me.
What a good way to avoid this conversation.
I sighed deeply because he knew I could not say no to that. The piano was our thing. Our way of showing that everything is all right even when it isn’t.
I placed my hand in his and we walked to the piano in the middle of the room. The moon shone directly on the piano and it felt so magical. Every time he played a different tune on the piano and every time I fell deeper in love with him.
I sat next to Ethan and the moment he placed his fingers on the keys, I closed my eyes and placed my head on his shoulder.
This is what I want.
Him, the piano, us.